Santa? Yes or No?

[nothing2lose]

Perhaps Farmer Christmas can bring a basket of freshly picked vegetables, some free range eggs and a sack of cow manure????

[PumpkinZulu]

Glad someone bumped this thread - cheers, Bloom.

I am going to "kill Christmas" for all my sister's children, when she has them.

Hmmm, I hope this isn't true. I get you're upset that your son now wants to believe in 'farmer' christmas (too cute!!) because sister and your mother didn't respect your parenting choices, but killing christmas for innocent children to get back at another adult is really mean

I'd just do what N2L said Good ol' Farmer Xmas

[boomba]

Hmmm, I hope this isn't true. I get you're upset that your son now wants to believe in 'farmer' christmas (too cute!!) because sister and your mother didn't respect your parenting choices, but killing christmas for innocent children to get back at another adult is really mean

I'd just do what N2L said Good ol' Farmer Xmas

I agree. Maybe you need to be sterner with your family in telling them you dont like it?

[Traveller]

I would be tempted to tell Liebs that "farmer Christmas" is a figment of your mum and sister's imaginations, and he's not real but not to tell them that because they don't understand. And have a bit of a giggle about how silly they are. I really wish I had done that when everybody started telling my kids about Santa. Then they would have felt like they were in on a joke that everyone else was fooled by, whilst still enjoying the magic of Christmas without losing sight of why Christians celebrate at this time of year. Instead I have been bullied into Santa by everyone around me. DS1 almost doesn't believe now, and as soon as he asks me outright then I will tell him the truth.

[briggsy's girl]

FB, is it's possible it's come from day care/kindy as well as your family?? it may not be entirely your family at fault...

[Sopdet]

My kids will be brought up with the celebration of Yule (and all pagan holidays), just like I was.

As for Santa, they will know about him, just like they will know about the christian beliefs and Jewish beliefs (since they will be Jewish by birth, as I am)

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Last year they did have a man in a suit at nursery - DS knew it was a man in a suit. No worries there. Didn't even ask his name. He was completely unphased by the Santa thing right up until the 27th/28th of December last year.

My mother especially, but also my sister (who thinks I'm cruel) go on and on about it. I'm sure it has been seeing the people in the outfits that partially triggered it (especially yesterday), but it was the Peppa Pig Christmas DVD and the awful Polar Express DVD that my mother put on endlessly whenever I left the room for DS last year that really cemented it. DS started talking about men coming down chimneys with presents that week. Then had nightmares about people coming down the chimney into his bedroom while he slept when we got back home.

It could be from school, sure. But why did DS leave it until he had been on the phone to my mother to bring it up with me this year? Especially with the "Farmer Christmas" thing, when I have never, ever used that name with him. Nursery did Santa. I will talk about St Nicholas and that people like to remember him this time of year with gifts and stockings.

FWIW, I think my mother and sister have "killed Christmas" for Liebs by forcing the whole Santa thing on us. Christmas is about Church nativities and Jesus and singing carols loudly. NOT Farmer Christmas. I know it's a hijacked festival and Jesus was really born months earlier - just means we get to sing carols for 4 months! So why can't I impose my Christmas, which is in my mind better, on other peoples' children when they impose their rubbishy Christmas on my children? And as for being sterner - I told them that we don't "do" Santa, Liebs doesn't get Santa gifts, we believe in Jesus not Santa: in front of Liebling they told me I was cruel and nasty to my son and they would do it for him (my mother attends Church too, so isn't a belief clash). In that case, I don't care to see them. "Oh grow up and get over yourself." Guess what - we don't see them Christmas day! They still don't care for my wishes and never have.

[boomba]

Fb I am really sorry your family don't respect your wishes As long as you tell L how you want to celebrate and that your family does it different then that is ok but "killing" others christmas is just becoming what they are and have done to you?

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Yeah, cos the moral high ground is working really well for me these last few decades. (Sorry, Boomba, I know you mean well, I'm just bitter and twisted!) I'm not killing Christmas anyway in my eyes - I'm making it better! (I also have a son who really can't cope with gift overload so no way would I do Santa even if I wanted to: it just isn't in Liebling's best interests.)

[LuluHB]

Definitely Santa in this house. DD1 goes to a Christian kindy and so she is aware that Christmas is when Jesus was born and that we are celebrating his birth.

There is so much darkness in the world that I will one day no longer be able to shelter them from, so if there is a time in the year where my kids are wide-eyed at sparkly lights, jolly old men in red suits and pretty trees then I'll embrace that for them for as long as possible. I do however believe that individual beliefs and wishes should be respected, and so if you choose not to celebrate Christmas, embrace Santa or whatever then that choice should be respected and not undermined. I think in such a materialistic society that we live in, it must be incredibly hard for those who choose not to "celebrate" Santa to deal with the issues that must come up with kids.

[meow]

I also have a son who really can't cope with gift overload so no way would I do Santa even if I wanted to: it just isn't in Liebling's best interests.

We only do one gift from Santa. It doesn't have to equal gift overload.

[LuluHB]

We only do one gift from Santa. It doesn't have to equal gift overload.

I agree with this. What kids get from either parents or Santa is something completely within your own control. I think my kids get way too many presents, but given I'm the git that buys them all its my own fault - I just can't help myself

[bec293]

I have decided I won't be introducing Santa as being 'real'. There will still be gifts, from me, but I won't go overboard as I don't agree with the commercialism that surrounds Christmas here in Australia. There will still be fun, anticipation and imagination, it can be all of those things without me having to lie to him about Santa. I am planning to spend some Christmas times overseas with DS's fmily (a country where Christmas is spent going to church, and spending the day with loved ones, and eating big meals and celebrating) and I don't want him to be ridiculed and teased for believing there is a bearded fat man in red who brings presents in the middle of the night. The other kids there will think he is an idiot.

[Heaven]

We do santa. DD's get presents left from Santa. But we don't actually talk about him. I don't have any Santa decorations around or anything. We talk about Christmas being about Jesus birth, etc. I have just let the rest of the outside world take care of letting DD1 know about Santa and so far it's doing a pretty good job of it.

[Beach Mama]

Just came across a blog post with a letter to a little girl who asked her mum if she was santa. They exchange letters about all sorts of stuff and this was the mums reply.

Dear Lucy,
Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”
I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.
The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.
I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)
I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.
This won’t make you Santa, though.
Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.
It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.
Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.
With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.
So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.
I love you and I always will.
Mama

Love this.

[peanutter]

Hmmm ...

I don't like that letter ...

The reason I don't like it, is because I don't find it to be honest ... if it went further, to say that "Santa" is a concept, or that the tradition of Santa came from a man who .............. etc, then I think the letter would have finished the job. The rest would match: explaining to her daughter the reasons that the concept or the tradition is important to her and so many, and why they do it, and why she is encouraging her daughter to continue the tradition, the joy it brings them, etc.

But the scope of the letter as it stands is still unclear, because it leaves the impression that there is a Santa, and we all pitch in, and now you can too ... I think if a child is mature and intentional enough to write a letter to their mother asking a direct and honest question, it deserves a direct and honest answer ...

I see truth and untruth in reasonably black and white terms: which is why we don't "do" Santa in DH and my home ...

I think the mother's intention was great - but I think there are some rough patches which remain ambiguous, which in my opinion should be clarified to complete what it seems her intention was.

[Calluna]

I don't want to do santa. The whole idea of lying to DS makes me really uncomfortable. (And yes it is a lie. Regardless of whether you think of it as a wonderful fantasy or not. It is untrue and therefore the very definition of a "lie". )
I want to tell him (having read Krysallys' comment) that it is a game or just something other people like to believe.
DF thinks I'm being stupid and I'm sure his family will agree and I'll end up being treated like I'm torturing my child. A compromise is too much to ask for apparently.

Why do people think that because I don't (didn't) want to do Santa it means he will get no presents, we won't visit family, there won't be a tree or decorations? Why do people assume that no Santa means no Christmas?

Sorry, that turned into a bit of a vent. Lol

[Laranna]

So why can't I impose my Christmas, which is in my mind better, on other peoples' children when they impose their rubbishy Christmas on my children?

Because you're a better person than they. Don't stoop to their level.


As for us, we do Santa. I believe in the magic of Christmas and Santa is just one part of that, along with the family time, decorating the tree, baking gingerbread, singing carols, seeing the lights, getting ready for a big Christmas feast. I love the festivities and I'll let my kids believe and embrace the fun and magic of Christmas including Santa. There is a letter I came across recently which was a mother's reply to her daughter asking if her mum was Santa. Hope it's ok to post the link The Truth About Santa | Cozi.com

ETA: Snap Tanstar - same letter...