DH and I almost broke up once (long before we has kids) because he mentioned something about smacking our kids and I blew up at him We talked it out, and I ended up getting him to see my point of view on it. He was smacked (well, belted, really) and I wasn't.
One of the begrudging bits of respect I have for my dad is that he never ever hit us. We disagree in so many ways, but this is one we're on the same page about. If I see or hear someone hitting their kids when I'm out shopping, I have to restrain myself from retaliating on behalf of the kid...
I was smacked (wooden spoon or Dad's hand). Dad was quick to smack. DH was smacked. Our best mate was abused. He remembered being bashed by his dad at 6 years old so hard that he lifted off the ground. Chairs being thrown at him. Thrown into walls. He was abused up until he was in his 20s. He ended up being on drugs for quite a few years (he's clean now) and he has mental problems now because of being abused. He is borderline skizophrenic, massive anxiety, anger problems. He has never hit his kids or raised his voice at them. He only sees them every 3-4 weeks, tho. He's the sweetest man you've ever known and it hurts so much to hear him open up and tell me about his childhood.
Because of what our best mate when through we will never hit DD. Yes, she gets a smack on the hand if she keeps touching something. But "no" and take-the-child-away works wonders for us.
No, I don't want to smack. I was smacked and so was DH. I have been so frustrated that I have wanted to and sometimes it seems like a natural reaction, maybe because that's what my parents did to me.
But I don't believe in hitting someone to get them to do what you want. And I want DD to grow up and make choices based on what is 'right' not because she's afraid I'll hit her.
We talked it out, and I ended up getting him to see my point of view on it. He was smacked (well, belted, really) and I wasn't.
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