I didn't have a problem with a smack pre-DS. After all, do I want my child to learn running into the road hurts for the first time when a car hits him? I'd rather sort him out with a smack earlier.

Then I had my DS. A boy who LOVES having his bottom smacked - so much so it's a game in this house. I started doing it when he was just a few months old, a lovely old lady mentioned that she used to do it to soothe babies. I gave it a go, needed to use enough force for DS to feel it through a cloth nappy, and he settled and loved it straight away. Not to hurt, but then the aim of a smack is a shock rather than to bruise/cause severe pain, right? He usually gets a "smack" when he is running around naked, refusing to get dressed. I chase him to his room trying to get his bottom - him in laughter, but it works, and no harm to the relationship or the child. (And I have no illusions that he's going to grow up OK, don't worry. A parent's job is to screw up their child though.)

However, my son also responds best to words and real demonstrations. So he knows about the oven being hot because I've opened the oven when it is on and he has stood in front of it, he knows it is too hot to touch. With a car, we talk about how much it hurts to run into a wall - it is more painful if the wall was running too (walking slowly into a wall doesn't hurt much, after all) so cars REALLY hurt. May not work for all, but he didn't (and doesn't) run across roads without looking for cars after that chat.

What will I do with another child? Well, I hope to not use smacking, or have it as a game. I suppose having such a good relationship with my son means I would not want a relationship based on fear with another child. But you can achieve fear without smacking - DH's overuse of the time-out means DS is less keen on Daddy time these days. And I don't remember being scared of a smack from my mother - just her opening her mouth would do it (a copped quite a bit of verbal abuse over the years).