We were smacked as children and so was DP. I think my DD is much better behaved than myself and my sisters, without resorting to smacking, and she is certainly 10 times better behaved than DP was! Smacking in his household wasn't the extent of it either, his brother bullied him severely (and his brother was bullied at school) and DP's stepdad well and truly crossed the line in belting his brother. So where do you draw the line as an adult? And stopping his brother from beating up DP would have required a radical change in their parenting as well. This has affected their relationship for life.

Anyway, as I say, I think because we pay more attention to consequences and just how we deal with DD, rather than just repeating what we learnt growing up, we have a much better connection and more respect between us and DD. I didn't respect my mother much at all. As she grows up, I think that respect will be much more beneficial than shorter-term behavioural changes.