Bella, my gorgeous mother-to-three friend... read no further.

This 3-kid gig appears to be getting harder, not easier, as my youngest (now 11m) gets more independent. Quite the opposite of my experience going from 1-2 where it was chaos, but settled by the time #2 was 12 months.
It's all mental, all the time. I can't get on top of any of the domestics and they're all creating insane ammounts of mess and have different needs. Bubba is clingy one minute and a independent, head-injury-prone daredevil the next and the older ones are utterly loving and devoted but create more danger by bringing chokeables and climbing challenges into his play space.

I'm not getting any more sleep than I did in the early days and right now the physical and emotional demands are just maxing me out by 8am.

I have yelled at them pretty much every day this week and constantly feel tense and snappy and pulled in all directions when I am so desperately aspiring to be calm, present and available.

... Just a vent really. I am so tired and discouraged as I assumed that I would feel things settling now, as I did with the last baby. But it's madness. And I think madness may be here to stay.