I don't like experts with regimes that demand rigid enforcement, with dire warnings about what will happen if you give in to your child. They set up parents and children as diametrically opposed forces - the parents must exert their will over child and quash opposition. Instead of a little human being needing nuturing to become an adult one day, children are seen as problems to be solved and the regimes are presented as a 'fix'.

These experts start from an assumption that parents are doing the wrong thing. When they say "you must not..." in relation to things that are natural parent behaviours - like rocking or feeding your baby to sleep, for instance - they tell parents to distrust their natural instincts and stop listening to their child.

I think if you listen to your instincts, know your child and respond to them then I think it's fine to pick and choose hints and tactics from wherever you may find them. But for a vulnerable new parent struggling with sleep deprivation and probably wondering if they're doing the right thing, it's dangerous to hold up a strict regime as a 'fix'. This tells the parent that their child is a problem to be solved and that their instincts are not to be trusted.

And, they must strictly adhere to this regime or it won't work; reinforcing these messages, further undermining their trust in themselves and, i think very cleverly, giving the authors a ready-made 'out' if it doesn't work. Because I think a lot of these regimes are very unrealistic for parents and children alike, making it very difficult to follow them to the letter.

The odd parent may find it works if they follow it to the letter. Many other parents may find things improve if they take parts of the program and adapt them for themselves.

Dollyroux, I see your point, but I guess what worries me is when parents hold up a particular expert as some sort of saviour, when the truth is, as you say, "you found them really useful". Likewise, I've gleaned useful advice from pinky, pantely and sears, but I don't follow any of their stuff strictly (though I think it bears mentioning that none advocate a strict regime or routine like TH et al, or at least not that I'm aware of).

I'm biased of course because I just don't like the central message that TH and others of her ilk deliver to parents; I prefer the Sears of this world, with his 2 golden rules for parents:
1 - Know your child
2 - Make your child feel good