I don't know either! I think it's pressure from everyone else that makes you think that's what you should be doing. But no idea why they all think it's so important, it's not like they're the ones getting up to my kids!

I wish I was as relaxed with DD1 as I was with DD2 but now I know it does pass, it doesn't last forever. DD took until just after her 2nd birthday to self-settle. So with DD2 I had no expectations of self-settling at all and it has been much much less stressful!