Hi KAM - I am so sorry for the journey you have travelled and the loss of your precious babies. You have found the best place to share your worries...everyone here is so understanding and supportive...I wish I could answer your question...day by day here...somedays ok others I'm terrified...but I always find it's so much better to share than keep it all bottled up...look forward to sharing your journey until you hold your little one in your arms!