Kam, I am so sorry that you have had to go through so much loss. Pregnancy is a very difficult journey for many of us. I had horrible nightmares with my last pregnancy. I had to take a very long nap every afternoon to catch up on sleep. The only thing that helped me through each day was knowing that I had some great doctors that were doing everything they could to keep my baby safe. I had weekly ultrasounds to check on my little ones fluid, growth, and movement. I also had non stress tests each week to check on bubs HB. Even with all of the extra monitoring, I was a mess. Take each day at a time, you will get there.