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Thread: very scared - desperate for reassurance

  1. #1

    Default very scared - desperate for reassurance

    I half suspect that it's simply the time I'm at in this pregnancy which is causing all the stress, but right now I'm worried, scared, and desperate for someone to reassure me.

    With my first pregnancy, I'd had several rounds of spotting... one at 5 weeks, another at 7 weeks and the longest when I'd reached 8 weeks. This continued for several days, was followed by a small bleed one night. The next morning I woke up with no nausea at all, no sore breasts - all pregnancy symptoms had vanished over night. The following morning saw the nausea return, but a scan later that day revealed that my baby had died. The scan was at 8 weeks and 5 days, but the baby had probably passed around a week earlier.

    This was followed by a couple of very early miscarriages, a lot of tests and a lot of theories but nothing definite as to why this happened...

    This pregnancy has had no spotting at all. Nausea and sore breasts from when I was barely past 3 weeks pregnant, muscle cramps setting in around 5 weeks, terrible heartburn at around 7 weeks. A scan at 6 weeks and 3 days showed everything to be perfect. I'm 8 weeks tomorrow and I can't stop worrying.



    For the last few days my nausea has been declining. I still have sore breasts, I still have heartburn (although not so much of either of these today), but today I've felt almost completely normal. Yesterday the lady I see for acupuncture told me that when the nausea subsides, it's usually replaced by headaches... I've been having bad headaches lately, but never connected them to pregnancy (too many other possible causes from a sinus/chest infection with lots of coughing to simple eyestrain). I can't find any information to confirm or refute this at all.

    I'm just so far beyond petrified that the lack of nausea means things have gone badly again. I don't appear to have any other reasons to believe things have gone wrong, but I just can't shake the fear. Ironically, the point in time when my first baby died was most likely when the nausea was at its absolute worst.

    When we went for our first scan, our FS offered to have us back in around three weeks for a follow up, but we elected not to, because we had our first OB appointment in a week. It seemed silly to have two appointments close together to check the same thing. I'm kicking myself for not taking the appointment with my FS!

    Please reassure me that things can still be ok. I can't get back to see my FS at the usual place because he's only there Mondays and Thursdays - damned public holiday and the OB appointment is next Thursday.

    So we have a week in which to try to stay sane...

    BW

  2. #2

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    Hugs hun. Normally the absence of M/S would be cause for celebration but I can see why you would be nervous. I have no real advice cause its pretty stupid to tell you not to worry!

  3. #3
    pegasus Guest

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    Its ok BW. Your morning sickness came on pretty quickly, perhaps its passing just as quickly. All you can do is be cautious and relax. Look after yourself, because your baby needs you to be healthy and strong. Focus on reducing your stress. The acupuncture sounds like its helping, so keep with it. Maybe you could take up a hobby and focus on that. It will be ok. If you really do need reassurance, just get your GP to refer you for an ultrasound. Any dr can send you for one. And most places can see you that day or the next for the scan. The more relaxed you are, the more likely your body will hold onto your baby. It will be ok darl.

  4. #4

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    Awww BW, feeling like this is so, so normal - but not much fun! I lived from u/sound to u/sound, it was the only way to stop the head games I would play with myself every week.

    After each u/sound, I was OK for a few days, then the cycle of fear would start all over again. Add a bleed at 9 weeks and well, you can imagine!

    The awful fact is there's just going to be days when you don't feel much in the way of symptoms, and eventually those early symptoms will subside all together. It doesn't mean anything!

    I'm sure you're little 'parasite' is just fine, tucked away snuggly and biding his time before you see him again! Hang in there and post as much as you need to to keep your fear under control. It really does help.

    Are you posting in the prg after m/c thread?? I swear those girls helped to keep me sane.

    Last edited by Willow; June 5th, 2008 at 08:27 PM. Reason: typo!

  5. #5

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    BW, my nausea disappeared this pregnancy around the 8w mark too and I worried and worried about it. It doesn't help when everyone in the world seems to be stricken with m/s forever when it disappears for you! Well, that's the way it felt for me. I was so relieved at the next scan to see that everything was still all right. My ob patted me on the shoulder and told me to count myself lucky. It's impossible not to worry though, I know. My last pg was a missed m/c too and I remember remarking to the GP I was seeing at an appointment at 10 weeks that I didn't feel pregnant and him saying back to me "Oh, you're very pregnant!" As it turned out, I was right. That time.

    I guess, all we can do is to hang on to the success stories and the reality that there are so many women whose nausea is mild and ends early who go on to bring their babies home. Why can't we be lucky this time too? Bellyrubs and baby dust for us all.

  6. #6

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    BW, my nausea kept coming and going in waves - one week i felt so yuck and the next i felt fine. For a few periods my boobs didnt hurt, i just didnt feel pregnant. Then the next week i would have one yucky nauseus day - and this saturday i will be 14 weeks, 12w scan showed a healthy little bub.

    So try not to worry, it really can come and go in waves. I cried a few times cos i just wanted to feel sick dammit! (and like you the absence of the nausea just brought on all of my fears).

    XOXOX

  7. #7

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    I had 2 pregnancies with no m/s at all!

  8. #8

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    By 7 weeks I had no traditional early pregnancy symptoms and was very worried all was about to end. All I had was bleeding gums and a stuffy nose and I just held on to that as being a good sign - it's all I had to cling to. I haven't even had headaches through this pregnancy - maybe just two - 2 leg cramps - no morning sickness at all. I've had heartburn all the way through and have had fluid issues with my feet throughout the 3rd tri - that's about it. Symptoms or lack of them don't necessarily have to mean a thing. For most of this pregnancy I've felt so normal it was hard to believe at times that all could possibly be going well in there, yet it was. I really only started to get some relief from the worry when I started to feel movement and of course whenever I had a scan or a doppler.

  9. #9

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    You have no idea just how much it helps to hear from other women who have been through the same thing and still had everything turn out ok. The one thing that is still with me is the constant, unrelenting hunger...

    I've got a few theories on why today was so nausea-free. One is that I've been severely constipated, and it's really obvious that things aren't moving through my system that quickly... so my stomach isn't emptying as fast as it has been. The second is that we had dinner really late, and it was mainly eggs - lots of protein just before bed so my blood sugar levels were more stable so less nausea.

    I saw a GP this afternoon, not my regular one... he did talk about sending me for blood tests, but decided that we'd need a series of them, and by the time we had a definitive answer I'd be at the OB. He also mentioned sending me for a scan, but in the end we both decided that I'd be better off getting a specialist to do it - more skill... and with the public holiday, I'm really unlikely to be able to get in much before Thursday anyway. At least when I confirmed my appointment with the OB today I was able to make sure that she DOES actually have a u/s machine in her office, so we'll be able to get a look on Thursday.

    For now, I'm feeling a little better - but I don't think that seed of doubt is ever going to go away until Thursday... and like you, Willow, probably only for a little while then...

    BW

  10. #10

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    BW: I just wanted to say that I totally know what you mean. There would be days when I was sick with nausea, so much so that I would take a sick bag with me on the train, and then the very next day I felt utterly fine. It messed with my head big time, I have never welcomed sickness so much.

    I just wanted to let you know that my symptoms tended to come and go in waves also. Many a day I was worried for the worse but before the nausea crept back in.

    Hoping you feel sick as a dog tomorrow (and you know I mean that in the nicest possible way)

    Lv Spring

  11. #11

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    BW - I've never lost a precious little bundle, but there were times when I was pregnant with DS that I thought I had. My DH rang the local hospital and the midives there were more than happy to do an ultrasound and use a doppler to put my mind at ease. Is it possible for you to do the same?

  12. #12

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    I feel for you BW, it is just the worst isn't it? You almost expect the worst as a kind of protection mechanism. I know i did. I relaxed a little after 12 weeks, but it wasn't until i was holding my DD in my arms that i finally stopped worrying.

    Everytime my boobs stopped hurting or a i wasn't hungry or i had a cramp i would think it was the start of another m/c, but like the girls have said the symptoms can easily come and go.

    When i was preg with my last pregnancy i tried really hard to focus on the positive. I would lie in bed every night and imagine my little jelly bean snuggling down in my cosy womb. I really believe the mind is a powerful thing. So, as hard as it is, try and think good, strong baby growing thoughts for your little one growing inside you.

    Thinking of you.

  13. #13

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    Hey BW

    I'm so sorry you are feeling so stressed hunny. The worry is almost unbearable at times isn't it..

    Throughout all three of my pregnancies I've had moments where the nausea has completely disappeared, as well as the sore boobies and I could SWEAR that I just wasn't pregnant anymore..Your mind can play terrible tricks on yourself, especially after having miscarriages.

    Just hang on matie, I'm sure bubby is just fine.

    (Oh and the doppler thing as Celsie mentioned, I have one at home and got a hb on my little one the other day, at 11 something weeks..so maybe it might help you to have one too, for when you are futher on..BUT in saying that, I know they aren't for everyone and can cause more stress but it's just a thought anyway..)

    Thinking of you sweet xx

  14. #14

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    After my little melt down last night I feel asleep and dozed for a bit in front of the TV. Quite unusual for me. It did mean that I was asleep when I usually need to start hassling DH about dinner, so dinner was really quite late last night. By the time we'd cooked what I felt I could eat, I got about two bites into it and realised it wasn't going to go down and stay down. Last night's dinner ended up being an apple pie with custard.

    I have woken up this morning feeling like hell again, needing to nibble on some biscuits before I can tackle breakfast... going to grab some maxolon soon... It makes me feel a bit more confident about things. Not completely confident, but certainly more confident than yesterday.

    Thanks to everyone for being there for me... i think it's going to be a rough week, but we're through one crisis for now.

    BW

  15. #15

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    Oh BW - so glad that the sickness is back - it's awful having that feeling of dread - trust me I can totally relate - spent yesterday getting internals done followed by an US at 5pm - this is all after only having an US done last Friday - I'd like to say it gets easier but for me I too live from one US to the next and then maybe even some in between - have faith in yourself and the higher being, we have no control over what's going to happen all you can do is look forward with hope - but again I can see your relief about feeling unwell this morning.

    You're in my thoughts and prayers - I've got a good feeling about this one

  16. #16

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    Not often we get to say this... But... Glad you're sick!!

    Six sleeps until your appointment. You know you have a huge support squad on BB to get you through these times, don't you. Lots of love and special hugs.

  17. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by kbowman View Post
    Not often we get to say this... But... Glad you're sick!! D
    Ditto

    Just think - once you have a parasite you have it for good LOL

  18. #18

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    BW - it's so hard, early pregnancy - but I'm glad you're sick again - if that makes you feel better lol!!! Apple pie and custard - yuuuummmmoooo - you have given me a new craving and I've added them to my shopping list Have a sicko throwo uppo kind of day Keep breathing..........

    Lee xo

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