I agree with the others SS - it should all be fine so long as the meats are heated to very hot, and the salads have been kept in the fridge.

I got the "you're overreacting", "we never worried about these things" and all other similar comments - usually from my ILs who seemed to think I was silly for not drinking alcohol while pregnant! I found it was easier to actually smile sweetly and agree with whoever told me I was being overly cautious but given that I didn't expect anyone else to go without whatever I was turning down, I didn't see the problem. FWIW, my FIL still says I'm overly cautious, but now its in relation to how I'm raising my daughters. Do what you're comfortable doing - eating a piece of cold ham on Christmas Day just to shut others up is NOT worth you ending up in tears later in the day because you convince yourself that the indigestion you're feeling is really the onset of listeria!!

Enjoy your Christmas Day.