I'll agree with the reading everything you can! (although be careful of google!!) I'm a bit of a control freak, and the idea of not being in control during labour freaked me out too - by reading up on stuff, i felt that it gave me some feeling of being in control.

As for DH, he wouldn't read anything but I would give him a synposis of everything I read. He also came along to all the appointments so that he could also listen and chat with our mw. We had a very lenghty discussion on what I wanted and so we went into it, with him fully in support of this. But he also knew to let me be flexible if we needed to be.

I also found pregnancy yoga really helpful - at one point during the classes, you would say affirmations to yourself, such as "my body knows what to do to birth this baby", etc. When I worried about labour, I would sit there and relax and say them to myself over and over.

Good luck - remember - you can do it!!