Hi there!

One of the best things that happened with DH was when he came across Frederick Leboyer's "Birth Without Violence". he saw me reading it and was impressed by all of my 'ah ha!' moments (unfortunately i read it AFTER having had DD ). i think that this book really helps in providing a 'place' for the birth partner in that he offers 'roles' and stuff that they can take on during the labour and post birth. DH really liked that he was shown more active ways of being 'present' at the birth.

For my DH he felt really overewhelmed after seeing me in labour and felt a bit pushed to the side in terms of events etc. he didnt want to interfere with me or the midwives and as such, felt a bit left out and like the spare leg...we have decided to ensure that that wont happen again and will use Leboyers approach as much as possible as well as having the assistance of a doula.

have you looked into doing a hypnobirthing class or calmbirth class? i have heard that this can do wonders for people experiencing anxiety about birth...