i feel much of what you write, in my case, a baby now would have to be by immaculate conception, but as time goes on, bilby is about to turn three, my "chance" is slipping away too. But not the cluck factor in me, that is as strong as ever. I grieve each time i move on some of bilby's outgrown stuff, because i would much rather keep it for a sibling. but that is not going to happen.

and sunspots are suddenly appearing allover me, even though i don't spend much time in the sun, am good at covering up with sunblock, hats etc. i even wear long sleeve antiskincancer tops in summer!