Gigi ... yeh, how awful is that deep pain in your heart every time you pack away or even give away their clothes ... it's like another milestone where they are getting further & further away from 1st being a newborn then a baby then a toddler ... my watching DD become a little girl now has gone far too fast for me to the point at times i feel like i'm grieving (IYKWIM) ... i would do anything to wave a magic wand to make those feelings go away as i live with them each day. And it's the constant reminder especially when our child turns 2 onwards while everyone around us with a child the same age seems to so easily go on to have their 2nd child ... i told DP the other night how as much as i genuinely feel happy for them at the same time it slaps me in the face with my own situation & i look at my DD with a little sadness & even a little guilt that she won't have a sibling & that it will be just her playing on her own (when DP & i are not). Also DP the other night was shocked to hear my say when i hear of someone pregnant or have given birth my 1st reaction is i'm just so darn excited then within moments later how inadequate as a woman it makes me feel & i feel my body has let me down so therefore i have let the ' 3 ' of us down. I have to constantly each & every day remind myself of how incredibly lucky i am to have a child & try and get past these emotions that at times drag me down ... i just strive to get past these feelings & ENJOY all of what i have with my DD, as she simply is just so wonderful & loving & i often think how lucky was i that she got to be MY daughter ... then i feel so much better again until the next time. I can only hope it gets better & easier as times goes by

(Gigi ... go get the spots checked out at your local Doc, seriously it's so easy & the appt doesn't take long, at least it will be peace of mind for you !!)