Did you tell people you were expecting an IVF / FET baby?

[dusty]

But at the same time I want people to think that this baby was conceived naturally as I'm not really ready to admit we're not like other couples that conceive naturally. Especially since our reason was unexplained infertility.
How did you girls deal with this?

I can understand your hesitation but perhaps you could look at your conception differently? Even with assisted conception you still have to conceive naturally - your body has done an amazing thing in implanting, accepting and growing your embryo. Giving it the best possible chance your body still has to do all the work naturally someone once asked me if I feel my baby (DD) was mine as she was conceived via the assistance of an egg donor and IVF. I answered that while I was given one cell, and it fertlised in a lab, I grew my child from that 4 cell embryo, all by myself and continued to grow her after birth with breast feeding and love. No matter what assistance I was given she was the most naturally conceived and grown baby there is. I encourage you to embrace your child's origins and celebrate the fact that you are having a baby the best way you could. As to who needs to know that is completely up to you. My daughter is the one who proudly tells anyone that is interested that 'my mummy and daddy got married and wanted to have a baby but they couldn't so my Aunty Em gave them an egg so they could have a baby and they had me!!!'
Congratulations!!!

[me4ever]

Thanks for the congrats! We're so excited, but still cautious as well. Don't think we can relax till bub is safely in our arms and alive and well.
Thanks so much girls for your honest and open responses. Bringing this up has been quite good, as it's a subject that's been on my mind a lot recently. I told my husband that I was putting this post on and we had a long conversation about telling people or not. I think there's lots of reasons keeping me from telling people. I think the reason I was asking is deeper than just being ashamed of having conceived via IVF.
One of the big ones is that I told my temporary boss last year when I was pregnant and was having loads of medical appointments and made the mistake of trusting her and telling her it was conceived through IVF. She doesn't have kids of her own and did not understand at all. This year she's my boss and when I told her we were pregnant she asked if it was through IVF. Even though I didn't have to reply I still did and said yes. I found out last year after I told her all this that she shares stories and tells other people what hardship certain people have gone through, sometimes going into details. I don't think it's up to other people to decide to share our story. It also makes me feel uncomfortable as I don't know if and who she's told. One of my other colleagues started a story about a friend of hers who did IVF and while she was talking she was staring at my bump. Then I'm thinking, has my boss told her???
Another thing is that my parents are very strict Christian, when I was living at home they were against a lot of things going on in the modern world. One was getting married after divorce, which I did last year, but in the last few years they've eased up on that and they were happy to attend my wedding. I'm sure they used to be against IVF or other intervention to do with babies. So more or less said if you can't conceive, don't go against nature. They don't know that we conceived this way, and I don't know if we should ever tell them. I'm just worried for their response and worried they might love our little one less?!

Just wanted to say - Dusty - love the way you see the whole pregnancy. Thanks for sharing as well!
And MLR - Can't believe you're 38 weeks pregnant already! I think we were in the miscarriage group together for a while almost a year ago?!

Oh yeah, forgot to add one more thing... Sometimes I think why is it so important to share. When one conceives naturally you're not going to ask / tell when it was conceived, how and in what position it was conceived etc??? I feel sharing about IVF is about just as intimate.

[Pholi]

Me4ever, I think it's a very personal choice, telling people, and we all have different reasons for and against. It's great that you have discussed it with your DH, because it is a decision that you both need to agree on.

I have decided to see it the same way I view my short-sightedness - I can't see much at all on my own, and though I could choose to live my life with very limited vision, I choose to have medical help for it and wear glasses and contact lenses, instead. No-one I know would expect me to go without lenses because nature made me so short-sighted. At the same time, anytime vision problems are discussed, I might mention that I am a contact lens wearer, because my problem with sight means I do have a story to tell. If my vision were perfect and normal, it wouldn't be much of a story! I think it is natural that people are much more interested in IVF than in unassisted conception.

[Saffy]

Me4ever- you could tell your parents after your baby is born- unless they are extremely abnormal I doubt they would love their own grandchild less because of that.
My Dh hasnt' told his aunty who is very religious that we did ivf, so I understand where you are coming from, but to be honest she is so thrilled we had a baby that I don't think she would change her feelings if she knew.
Babies have a good effect on people!

[tippytoes]

Just got shivers and goose bumps reading your response dusty. Maybe cause I remember all it took to get your first miracle... Bless your dd she is wiser beyond her years... Love your story... Xxx