thanks Anney

It's just really bugging me today i guess. we've decided HOW to tell family - we're getting a profile pic from NT scan, putting a Santa hat on it, and making that the front of our Christmas cards for everyone, so from that perspective, i'm happy with doing something special. i think that part that is so hard for me is about telling DH's god daughters. DH is devastated that the kids have been used as weapons against him, and i know it hurts him that, even if they're at my bro's now and we're there, they pull away from him. we don't know what has been said (except that we said they couldn't be in our wedding which is a massive lie!), but i know whatever it is, it's making them pull away from him. i want for him to be able to share with his family (well, the kids) the way i will share with mine - but he just can't. i know, for the first time since we've been together, he refuses to let me buy them something for Christmas. so it's obvious it's hurting him. i don't know if we should just give them a card like everyone else, whether just to wait til they find out (which would likely be when they go back to school) or what. it's just too damn hard!

i think i need to stop thinking about it - it's just so hard to do!