Hey BG what an awful situation you have.

I don't have the same family issues as you've described but I feel exactly the same way about some of my colleagues finding out about my pg and have been quite worried the whole time about my predictions of how some of them will react and then how I'll react to their reactions. I know it's not nearly the same in terms of the strength of emotional attachment or feelings (positive or negative) with colleagues compared to family members and my employment situation is hard to describe but I have managed to hide my pg from people at work. (God only knows how because I am definitely showing and they are starting to talk last week behind their hands so it won't be long).

Your poor DH. He sounds like he's been to hell and back over this (as have you as well). I agree with Anney - which option will cause you more stress? Given some of the questions I have had at scans, I got the impression that 15 weeks is the magic line (or basically the whole first trimester I guess) for the highest risk period for m/c. And Christmas is only a couple of weeks after that. Not sure if that helps or hinders but if you choose to keep it quiet until then, just remember that you'll still have 5 months or so to share it with your own extended family.

In terms of how you survive it, I'd be listening to your gut reaction/petrified feelings and knowledge of past behaviour and keeping it quiet for now. In terms of me keeping mine quiet and coping - I guess I talked lots on BB and with those I do trust so I still felt like I was sharing it (didn't tell family until 10-11 weeks either btw), I also spent my 'worrying' time thinking of clever ways to respond to how I predict people at work will react. I've kind of planned ahead I guess. My challenge will be to keep my cool and maintain a professional demeanour even when the colleagues don't!!. Can you use your 'worry' time to think up strategies to innoculate yourselves against this couple? You sound like you have excellent boundaries already in place. If it gets nasty would an AVO be an over-reaction? Once you've got a plan in your heads, don't let yourself think about it for too long. A minute or two and then distract distract distract with something else.

All the best with whatever you decide to do.