Have you regretted having more??

[hannanat]

I just really felt my preg with Indah (7yrs after having Maddy) & it just really took it out of me so I want this last one here before I turn 35

Yep Tracey, this pg really took its toll on me physically as well. I will very likely go again if we are still financially secure, but 8 is Ziad's (DH) unlucky number so if I do it'll have to be twins or another one after that. 9 is a nice number, lol. I cant believe how much I love Zain - its unbelievable. If I was on the outside looking in I would think that with that many kids they must miss out on something, but I can't think what it is. Its definitely not love and they have everything their peers do. I think it depends on Layla and her treatments and how she progreeses.

[Fire Fly]

I truly cant thank you girls enough for your replies, i was a bit hesitant to start this post because i thought id be taken the wrong way but now i am so glad i did.

Reading all your loving words you have for your familys just steps me more towards wanting another. We are both so undecided about this, (hence the thread), that its starting to eat at me. We look at our kids and words cant describe the love they have brought into our lives. We look at there angelic faces and think how could we not want another of these. But then in saying that we think will we disrupt these little faces by adding another. We are so torn.
And we are both 35 so we have to hurry up and decide, its now or never really. I know noone can make the decision for us because it is a choice that only we have to make but hearing all that you girls have said has helped heaps. Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou.

You wouldnt of thought a couple like us who started out not wanting kids at all would get to this dilemma. Now we have 2 and may make another.

[*Efjay*]

Kerrie, I think you need to change your way of thinking. Your not going to disrupt your perfect family, your going to add to it.
Like I said I find it hard to understand that it is a hard decission, but you & DH are good parents, your kids are good kids. You are bound to end up with yet another little angel that slots in perfectly & makes things even more wonderful. Its an easy choice if you ask me!

[Fire Fly]

Thanks Matey, that means alot to me to hear that. I know it seems like a trivial topic but we think it so important to make the right one for this family. Ive never been so undecided with anything, im usually the one who makes all the decision as DH is hopeless. But i have to admit that im the hopeless one atm.

[nicole mckay]

too be totally honest with you i am regreting having another child,we did not plan to have this baby,chantelle is only going to be 15 months old and the thought scares me.i am getting better about it all as the days go by but was devasted and depressed about it all to begin with,we are having a baby boy and i am just starting to come to terms with it all,i am 23 weeks and am glad i still have a while to fall in love with the idea as i did with all of my other 3 children,i love being a mother and love preganccy but i just done have the same feelings this time.i hope they come soon as i am sooo blessed and lucky to be given such a wonderful gift...a child that is mine.
nikki

[Fire Fly]

thankyou for your honesty Nicole. Do you find it hard with the 3 kids you have now? Does one get left out?
Do any of you with 3 kids find that one gets left out??

[Fire Fly]

I might add that i dont want it to be hard and the fact that its me most of the time looking after the kids is something i have to look at to. DH is gone from 7 to 7 so he isnt here much. Could i look after 3 kids by myself.

[Tracey]

Having a 7yr gap between the 2 we have & hopefully having a small gap between Indah & #3 will mean they'll be closer, but Maddy is also very independent & often out with friends etc...

She tells me often that she still wakes most mornings & hopes that she hadnt dreamt that Indah is her sister, but that it's actually true!

She tells my Mum she has never been happier than the day Indah was born & she loves being a big sister more than anything else.. Maddy is a very mature child & always puts others before herself, she loves Indah & understands stuff cant be done immediately if Indah is sleeping or whatever! She always asks for more siblings & says I should have 11 in total... when I ask her about if she really could share with 11 she said she wouldnt mind at all...

I also look to the future now & cant wiat to have a house full of the kids & their friends & then partners, grandkids etc... I love my Mum's families Christmases, birthdays. Easter as she is from a huge family & it's so loud & exciting!!!
Everyone is super close, yet Dads small family we never really catch up with!!!

[~Jo~]

I always think about the future and how wonderful it will be to have all our beautiful children and grandchildren around us. Even though its chaotic at times..the wonderful times and memories far outway any negative. Go for it.

Jo

[Fire Fly]

Thanks Jo and Tracey. I wish it was a simple as just go for it. Maybe im just procastinating to much about it and shouldnt worry about my cycles and DTD as much as i can, Lol.

I think whats frustrateing is i truly believe we both really want another one but are to scared to say 'ok, lets go again', cause then the decision is done. Kwim.

Reading all your replies is good for me. I just wish DH would get on her and read them to instead of getting cranky that im on here.

[nicole mckay]

no,none of my kids ever get left out,i always find a way to make sure they all feel as though they are getting enough love,attention,cuddles,talk time etc.you just manage it somehow.
nikki

[storm]

I wouldn't say I regret any of my 4, perhaps who their father is LOL, but not them. I'm having #5 soon & I cant wait, yeh sure it's tough sometimes but more often than not it's great! When #5 comes we will be considering #6, but I'm already 34 so maybe not such a good idea, Zac's pg & this one has been really tough on me, but it is still worth all the complaining. I had my first 3 close together, about 2 years & then a big gap of 9 years between 3 & 4 which, truly was awesome! I do have great helpers in my older ones, ( ah if only they'd change a stinky bum) so i am really lucky there.
I reckon just let nature take it's course IYKWIM

[Fire Fly]

Thats another of my probs Storm, im 35 now. Im not exactly a spring chicken anymore. My body tells me so anyhow, Lol. My mind plays tricks on me.

[JoMarie]

This is my second pregnancy, but will make 3 children altogether (DP came plus 1!). We have talked about having 2 more (1 more after this one) as the girls will be almost 7 when this bubba arrives and DP was of the opinion that we need two littlies as well! I had a lot of time on my own with Jasmyn as a baby as I was single for most of it, so going from 1 child to 2 was a big adjustment and all the added complexities a blended family brings, and going from 2 to 3 seems natural. We will decide after this one if we will have a number 4.

Good luck!

Jo
xx

[poppet]

I cant imagine lying in bed at night and regretting #3 child (if it happens). I would hope no one would ever 'regret' their children. I think its more a case of not liking the situation your in, rather than the child itself.
Why dont you get a dog, or plan a big holiday for the 4 of you? SOrry, i dont mean to sound harsh, but i kinda agree with Fionajill. The whole fact thats its a hard decsion for you should maybe see you and DH compiling a list of positives and negatives??

I used to ask parents with children close together 'ohhh, how do you do it?'. I remember one lady replied 'you just do, you dont have a choice really'. That said, now having my two close together, i realise you do cope. YOu cant sit in a corner and scream i cant do this anymore. As adults we need to be there for our children all the time. Thats how i see it anyway. I would prob ask yourselves what you feel another child would bring to your family? For some families, 2 children work great, and they are perfectly happy with there 2. Other families want 3,4,5....for whatever reason.
Good luck hon, with whatever you decide....

[MantaRay]

Thanks all for your contributions. I have read this with interest. DS #2 was just born a week ago today, and I had planned to only have two kids, mostly cause of my age (I turn 37 this week). But since Tom's arrival last week (well after a couple of days to let the labour memories fade a little LOL!!) I have felt very strongly that I want another. It's come out of the blue for me and I can think of all the intellectual reasons in the world why I should stick to the original plan of 2. But just maybe it's not too late for another!

[DoulaRelle]

Melanie - I am pretty much in your boat. I always said I would never have any more than 2 children, and then straight after having No 2 and I mean as I was walking out of the delivery room I told my Obs that I would be having another!

[MaryP]

Firstly, Caro, 3 years 8 months is a fantastic age gap between children. That is exactly the age difference between my 2nd and 3rd, both girls. Like you, at first I thought it would be a big gap, but it is just perfect. My older daughter is such a big help to me and her sister, and they NEVER fight with each other (probably won't stay that way forever). My 1st and 2nd are closer in age (2 years, 4 months) and they do bicker a bit.

My husband and I also weren't sure about going from 2 to 3, but are so glad that we did. Initially, my husband wanted a 3rd more than me, but eventually I came around. Now I won't lie to you and say its been easy for me, but it has been so rewarding. I've come to the realisation that life isn't meant to be easy all the time. Now I can't imagine our family any other way. I'm also one of 3 and growing up, I liked having more than one sibling (especially if I had a fight with one, there was another to play with).

Whatever you decide I'm sure you will be happy with your decision. Good luck!!