Help! How do I tell my boyfriend I'm pregnant

[Rivlas]

Congratulations.
Just be open and honest with him and I think you might be in for a pleasant surprise after he gets over the shock. You have done nothing wrong and these things happen.
All the best

[~clover~]

Just wanted to wish you luck. Please be honest. Thats the most important thing. I understand how he feels about it being unfair to his other children, but it also might push him that little bit harder to try & find them.
Its unfair for him to put his whole life on hold at the same time. As much as he needs to get in touch with his kids, he does still need to live.
FWIW DH didn't meet his father til he was 19, & while he felt betrayed that his father didn't want to know him, he feels nothing against his father's other children. They aren't as close as brothers & sister yet, but they are mates for now DH actually went out of his way to find them after not seeing or hearing from any of them in 7 years.
I understand all your feelings too.
Good luck to you both xx

[JCE0810]

CONGRATS!!

I think you just need to sit down with him and be honest with him and take it from there

[Jes13]

Thanks for all your kind words!! I do want to be honest, i know that is the best way, but I am so petrified of the outcome and I know its going to change everything!! I hope that it will encourage him to fight harder for his other kids and that he will eventually accept this. But I do know that initially it is not going to go well...he doesn't react well with pressure and he is going to freak out...He is a very deep person, but he is terrible at showing it and tends to say and act the opposite of what he is feeling, because he is scared of his actual feelings! He is a pain (he is a man lol), and I love him sooo much!!

I really needed to just tell someone else, and I'm glad I came across this forum. I am a person that hates confrontation and keep bottled, but I know that I can't do that in this situation, but I know thats why I'm scared of actually having to tell him...arrggh life sure does throw its curve balls!!

[Ryatha]

I really needed to just tell someone else, and I'm glad I came across this forum. I am a person that hates confrontation and keep bottled, but I know that I can't do that in this situation, but I know thats why I'm scared of actually having to tell him...arrggh life sure does throw its curve balls!!

Thats the great thing about BB - I come on here, vent away and always feel so much better. Everyone is so supportive

[Jes13]

Basically, he told me to sort it out quickly and demanded that either I have an abortion or do it by myself! He said he was not going to have a kid with me...not yet and that I was trying to stich him and that I must have been careless...When I told him I didn't know if I could have another abortion, he said that was not what he wanted to hear and that I needed to make a decision cause he didn't want to be left wondering what I was going to do! He then went out for the next few hours and we barely spoke when he got home...He didn't say one word to me this morning when I dropped him off at the train station! I'm so confused....I just want this whole situation to go away! I can't make this decision. On the one hand, I know he is not ready and this is not what we wanted right now, we are just about to go on holiday and were considering moving up north for a year or so...On the other, I just don't know if I could live with myself, I have spent the last 2 years trying to get my head around the first abortion and I just think another would send me over the edge, and yet I question whether I'm ready for a child! Part of me feels as though he's making me suffer for his guilt over his other children, yet I know he hurts every day because of it! I don't want to have to do this on my own, I mean who does really!?! I would need to find somewhere to live and give up my job for at least a while, leaving me with no income! I always imagined me spending the rest of my life with this guy and having a kid eventually...I just want his support "no matter" what decision I make! Its not fair of him to demand from me, he is not the one that has to live with it!

[CharlieBrownGirl]

Sorry he is making you choose, both options are very difficult.
Take care and do what is best for you

[Peach*]

That is not fair for your partner to be making you feel so rubbish. I think you have to do what is best for you, it sounds like you have been very understanding of his trouble with his other children but you have your life to think about too...

[BrightSparkles]

Oh hun. I'm so sorry things have turned out like this for you. It's definatly not fair of him to treat you like this, however I can imagine he would have been shocked at the news. Unfortunatly no one else can make this decsion for you. Have you got family around that you can talk to about whats happening? I think you need to sit down and think about what you want. It would be a hard decision for anyone to make - especially on thier own.
Did you explain to him how you felt about the situation? What was his reaction? Maybe he needed some time to process this and what he said what a quick reaction, without thinking?

Sending you lots of we are here if you want to talk/vent etc.

[starangelk]

Jes - you poor thing. Sending you a massive internet hug. What should be a happy occassion is being overridden by all of these other factors. I am so sorry your boyfriend reacted badly, perhaps giving him a day to let it sink in and then approaching the issue with him again is a good idea. However, I think you might run the risk of sitting him down and him expecting you to have made a decision either way. Can I suggest you go and get some counselling? It really sounds like you don't want to have an abortion and if the financial and practical side of things are the main reason why you are feeling you don't have alot of options, talking to someone else about it will probably help. Also, ring Centrelink and find out what benefits you would receive. I am not trying to sway you either way, I am just trying to say - make an informed decision and the best decision for YOU. The other thing I would say to your boyfriend is that if you do decide to go ahead and have this baby, he has said that he won't be involved. He regrets not fighting for his other children and being in their lives but this time he is CHOOSING not to be involved. Why is he making the same mistake again? I really hope you can get this sorted out hun.