Hi, I can sympathise with you completely! I am 14weeks and have to go in for surgery in about 3 weeks and have been in and out of hospital for months. I have a tumor on my right ovary, tests have been done for cancer etc and some have come back positive. They have given my baby a 50% chance of survival and i am soo scared! Im angry and concerned and just confused! I cant crawl up in a little ball and cry until i fall asleep as i have a beautiful little boy who needs me and a husband who is trying to support our family both mentally and financially! I need to be strong for this other little bubba inside me who i am not going to give up without a massive fight! You need to stay strong for your sake and your baby's sake!!

As for how i get through each day or week - I cant really tell you an exact answer to that one! I break down from time to time and have a bit of a pitty party and get so angry. I feel so sorry for my poor husband who has to cop the brunt of my out bursts! I think that if you surround yourself with people who are going to put positivity into your life and support you through your worst and rock bottom days that will help you emensely! Unfortunately though some days you will find (well i do at least) that nothing or no one can help you or say anything to make it better! Some days you just need to say 'you know what! this is crap! and i hate this!' and thats ok! Dont feel like you are a failure or any less of a mother, wife, friend or woman if you have a down time/day! Its totally understandable and expected!
Have you thought about seeing someone? Are you seeing the hospital for your care? if so, they have some really good people to talk to that will talk you through it all from both a supportive counsellor stand point and also the medical side of it which can really help sometimes. Sometimes all you need is for someone to be real and drop all the bull! I find sometimes that when people constantly say to me it will get better and its all going to be fine i get so crabby!!! And you know what sometimes you are going to feel like its not getting better and its not going to end but you need to affirm to yourself that hey, it might not get better anytime soon or it may not look that hopefull at the moment but no matter what happens and how things turn out you will get through it!
Sorry if thats a bit full on or direct but its just how i feel and i thought it might help....Maybe.

If it helps also i am a christian woman and i try to draw strength from god and his word. Leaning on that helps emensley! Even if your not really a religious person you may find that just having a few power scriptures will help you and give you peace. let me know if you would like any.

I hope all goes well for you and your bubba and you have a great pregnancy and a healthy little baby!

Best of luck.

xx