Forshelby in a way I do understand where you are coming from.
Watching what my DS4 (born at 25 weeks) went through, how sick he was and how close we came to losing him (and I do know how very lucky we are that he come home 15 weeks later, I am no way comparing it to those that have tragically lost little ones) was extremely hard and a very painful journey, for me it was more painful and traumatic then my miscarriage.
Watching him struggle and suffer was the hardest thing that I have done.
Pain and trauma is very much relative to each individuals experience.
My heart goes out to all the lovely ladies who have tragically lost a little one at any stage of their pregnancy.