I am having one of those self doubting moments and knew I could post it here...
I am feeling like a failure already - to my un-born bub, to my husband and to my house..
I am struggling to eat alot at the moment - I try very hard to eat well and eat veggies and fruit and all that good stuff - I mainly succeed but I have days that I cant bring myself to cook veggies or eat sallads - I can eat alot of fruit so thats ok I guess.
I worry that I am not doing the best for my little bub - I take my megga fol and I drink milk. I cant take vitamins because I have Haemacromatosis (store to much iron) so I can have any extra iron. I STILL suffer from bad morning sickness and the ONLY thing that makes me feel better and get thru the day is a bottle of Ice Coffee - I am scared that the cafinee that I have each day will be harmong my bub... If my bub is born with issues i feel that it will all be my fault..
I LOVE my husband to death! And I know that he loves me. After my first preg ending in m/c i am scared of seeing blood and I have not wanted to have sex due to the fact that it may disturb things - my DH is fine with this but I feel like a failure to him and I worry that he is going to leave me...
My house is a mess! Well its not a total mess but I get home form a full days work and all I want to do is lay on the couch! I have piles of clean cloths that I need to fold up and put away I just cant muster the energy at the moment...
I just feel like a failure.. The fact that I can sleep is not helping me at all either..
Sorry for the Woe is me post... just needed to get it out..
I have many a day where all i have eaten was chocolate and tea! Honestly -because i have been too lazy to make something decent. And DH is used to the dry spell now lol....
Everything you have explained i did myself with my first - postnatally and now with my second!
Dont feel bad - your worries are al in good intentions and that is what makes you a wonderful mother to be.
You need to relax and know you are doing a fantastic job - try to unwind with a warm bath, warm cup of chocolate and some essential oils before bed.
And i am sure DH will understand... if you see pink down there (i had pink D/c after DTD the other day... ) just show DH and it will probably put him off sex anyhow lol... (worked with my DH ).
Aw hun, you are doing a brilliant job and you know what, the fact that you care about all these things make you a good mummy already. These babies are sooo resilient and thrive on the most terrible diets. I hav ebeen craving coffee every day of this pregnancy and have to say I have had one a day since I fell pregnant. I also eat maccas whenever the craving hits (once aweek on average!) and there are many times that the house is a mess because I simply need a nap. Don't beat yourself up hun - you are growing a new life and that in itself is a full-time job IMO.
I'd say what your'e feeling is totally normal!! I think we all worry about what we're doing to our unborn bub!! Just remember that its an emotional time too, and it's normal to have ups and downs. Look what your body is going through, BIG changes! It can't not effect you emotionally!!
As for DH, at least he's not alone, he could come on BB and meet ALOT of other partners who are having a dry spell!!!!!
Just take it easy.
I have two daughters with allergies, one slight, one severe and I wanted SO much to do everything different this pregnancy, but it's just not working out that way (I am avoiding allergens, but I wanted to be soooo omuch more healthy). I have moments when Im annoyed at myself, but like someone said to me recently, the worry and all that goes with it is worse for bubs than the diet I have (which like you is pretty good). So I have decided that when I have days and dont eat ANYTHIGN but bread, that is ok!!!
take care xo
Thanks Ladies..
Its great to know that im not the only one who goes through thinks like this.
I know that tomorrow I will feel better and I do know that I am doing the best job that I can.
Thanks again - makes me feel a LOT better!!
Love
Kate
Meh- dont worry about the food thing. As a PP said bubs are resilient little things and the placenta filters away all the bad stuff (well, not all the bad stuff, like I wouldnt recommend drinking alcohol lol)
I eat maccas sometimes and have 1-2 coffees a day. I eat chocolate. Think about how many pregnant women would have eaten the worst things and their babies are fine.
As long as we make sure everything is prepared properly and cooked through then why the hell cant we eat a few treats!
As for the house....dont worry about it, it will get clean eventually. You need to rest and that is more important.
About your DH...I have been the same with my DH and I feel like a failure too. We have sat down and talked about it and he says he understands but I know what you mean I still have a niggle of doubt about it. Lucky we have fantastic DHs isnt it?
Aww, if you were a failure then so would every other pregnant woman! Keep doing what you are doing, you are doing a perfect job.
You can have coffee each day (just not bucket loads!) without any problems, I had a cup a day with DS2 and he is just fine.
From all you previous posts I have read I know you are going to be a very caring and doting mum, you already are! It sounds like your DH is 100% behind you too, you sound like a great team!
Kafer Girl - you are so not a failure. Of all the things that are getting you through the day, an Iced Coffee is the worst you can do??? Seriously, it would be great if we could all adhere to the long list of dos & don'ts that are published for pg girls to follow, but the problem with these "rules/guidelines/recommendations" is that they don't take into account what you actually feel like when you're pregnant, and how some days you just gotta do what is going to get you through.
As for your DH, well, as you said, he's fine & very understanding, so that's a great start. There are plenty of other, non-sexual ways to show him how much he means to you, just being kind & interested in his day is a good, and relatively easy thing to. My DF spent most of the time just wanting to look after me, and that worked for us, cos it gave him something "important" to do.
And pffft to the house - you've got piles of clean clothes? Well great - they're clean, and they'll be that way whether they're in the washing basket or in the cupboard. And whilst it's nice to live in a clean tidy house (okay, really nice), at the end of the day it's a small thing compared to m/s & tiredness, and there's a really good reason why you have the m/s & tiredness, so I would say look after this reason first, worry about the house when you can.
Thanks Squidipa & Janno
All you ladies have no idea how much your kind words and advice mean to me! Not just when I am feeling low - but all the time when I come on here.
My DH is AWESOME! He just wants me to relax and look after myself and our bub! He just makes sure that I am comfy and well - I know that he misses the intamacy but we snuggle on the couch and mae sure that we tell each other "I Love You" eveyday so we know where we stand - I just feel terrible that im not in the mood for sex - for him more than me.
Thanks again eveyone who has taken time out of your days to reply!
Love to all
Kate
i could have written this myself- but i am not down on myself- i just accept it1
At the moment i am sitting on the couch with crap piled high around me, and i just had a chocolate big M- i usually have one a day!!!
i will probably sleep for a couple of hours today- cause i can and the crap will still be around me when i wake up!
You are pg for such a short time in your life- so just go with it! Can you get someone to come in a clean once a week or fortnite- just to do the bathrooms, floors etc. I may cost like 50 bucks but if it makes you feel better- got for it!
Otherwise just do a little each day- like one day clean the toilet, the next clean the sinks!
The baby will take from you what it needs, and it is your body that misses out so relax about the eating. You will crave what your bubba needs, so if you are craving coffee, then that is what your bubba needs at the moment. If you are worried about the coffee, get some decaf coffee and make it yourself. Gets some decaf coffee from somewhere like Nutshack (its really yummy decaf), make it up in the espresso machine or a plunger, and let it cool and put it in the fridge in a glass bottle. Then just add it to milk, chuck in some ice-cream and sugar and blend! Yummo!!
You can also get iced coffees from most cofffee stores using decaf instead of full strenght!
Hun, I just wanted to add my words of support from "the other side". Seriously, when I was pregnant I could have written your post (except replace "iced coffee" with "chocolate and ice cream"). I TOTALLY understand how you feel, and when I look back on it now I know that my feelings were valid and real, but that "this phase too shall pass". Pregnancy felt like it would go on forever for me- I was sick throughout my whole pg- and I hated feeling like I was constantly failing at getting what I wanted to done. Very frustrating. But it will end, and you will have your baby and its wonderful! Sure, it brings its own sets of challenges and emotional craziness, but, personally, I think its far, far superiour to pregnancy- take hope!!
Can I just add something to make you laugh- I really like my house to be clean and tidy and I just couldn't do it when I was pregnant because I felt so sick. One day my husband sat down on the entertainment unit and when he got up I saw that where he had sat there was no longer any dust. So I promptly ordered him to sit down again and slide over the whole entertainment unit.... so, just when you feel bad about things, remember: I used my husband's bum as a duster....
I feel like a failure already..(long)
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think we all have days like this bubs and DH know you are doing your best and I am sure they both love you very much 
I also eat maccas whenever the craving hits (once aweek on average!) and there are many times that the house is a mess because I simply need a nap. Don't beat yourself up hun - you are growing a new life and that in itself is a full-time job IMO. 
, great dusting technique.
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