Inappropriate pregnancy announcement reactions

[Epacris]

Let me just say that yes, I am a pregnant, hormonal, emotional woman but I am sure that this rant would be completely, totally and utterly justified by any objective measure!

If one more person, j.u.s.t. o.n.e. m.o.r.e. p.e.r.s.o.n. says “Was it planned?” I’m going to, I swear I’m going to say this, “Well that’s a very personal question, so tell me, when did you last have sex and what sort of contraception did you use?” and then I’m going to deck them and then I’m going to S.C.R.E.A.M! Just for good measure.

WTF is wrong with the stock standard “Congratulations!”, huh?

And for the record I variously answer that question with:
“Yes”
“No”
“Umm”
“That’s too personal and I’m not going to answer.”

[mrsmac]

I got that with Riley too!! it shiat me soooo much.

Again a big congratulations on your very welcome pregnancy!!

[Junglemum]

Don't let them get to you.

[Joeve]

RUDE!

Yes I think you should say "no it wasn't planned my DH and I had decided years ago to never have sex again so I have no idea what happened......"

[Epacris]

So, if you’re too young, too old, or already have two children (or *gasp* maybe even more), or if people didn't know you were TTC (yeah, like they would anyway) people think it’s OK to ask you this.

Grrrrr..... It’s not! IT’S BLOODY RUDE!

Thank you everyone for your understanding and support.

"no it wasn't planned my DH and I had decided years ago to never have sex again so I have no idea what happened......"

And I do like this one.

[peanutter]

I had a lot of people who said things like, "congratulations! you must be thrilled! uh, you are thrilled, right? I mean, you're happy? this is, uh, on purpose?"

or people just saying "congratulations, was it planned?"

it annoyed me, but I'm not sure I was offended ... it's not a spre spot for me, personally.

but I found the question bizzarre - I mean, I was 28, married for 7 years, with DH for 12 years, and we didn't announce until I was 22 weeks pregnant.

my response ranged from "yes" to "are you seriously expecting me to answer that?" to "what are you suggesting?" to "what will you think if this baby wasn't planned?"

but over all, I think (for the people who asked me that question) it was more of an overly politically correct atmosphere, of people worrying that they're being insensitive or drawing incorrect conclusions by assuming that all pregnancies are wanted and planned ...

but how awful for you ladies who have had really negative comments, at what should be a beautiful and exciting time of your lives!

the closest to any of that which I experienced was one very close friend who congratulated me, and then read me the riot act for not telling her immediately when I got pregnant, then got really annoyed with me for not telling her whether we were expecting a boy or a girl (and kept trying to pressure me to tell her until I gave birth) and then warned me that I "had better not become one of those women who can talk about nothing but your baby and their latest talents and their pooing and eating and rolling and all that bu!!$#!^" ... thanks, babe ...

[M D]

People are thoughtless. Many people have unplanned pregnacies and from the moment they find out are over the moon with happiness. I think because it implies you may love this child less that it gets us so worked up.

Unless someone specificaly asks another person 'whats your opion' with regards to xyz then people should just be polite.

[Heaven]

wtf? I don't understand people asking this it is extremely rude!!!!!! And no one else's business!!!!!!!

[beckoes]

i had this sometimes, and im getting it this time too....sometimes i think people just want juicy gossip! it is very personal and rude! i say stick with your 'thats very personal im not going to answer that' response!!
congrats on your pregnancy!

[TeniBear]

Holy crud, some of these are so mean! PZ and TM

I suppose I had the opposite when I told my dad I was pregnant with Ianto - I was terrified he'd go off his nut because we conceived slightly before the wedding (apparently a big no-no in my family) but his first reaction was to turn to my mum and say "I told you so!" with a massive grin on his face This time, no-one's really reacted aside from asking me how everything's going. I'm not sure they know how to react, but I'm grateful they're not so rude that they ask if I'm happy about it!

[deletedit]

I've had the exact reverse with the last two .. a few "about time"s and "I thought you were pregnant"s. Everyone assumed they were planned though ... ridiculously cute boy/girl pair 3 years into a relationship, spaced 2.5 years apart, in my early-mid 30s. Nope, just too fertile.

People do tend to forget I have 3 children, or don't even know I've got 3. I don't look as old as I am - a couple of the midwives thought both of us were younger than we are (we're indoor geeks). I think I'd get more questions if I had three close together, or if I *looked* 35.

[~Kim~]

Rach.
Some people live in oblivion and really need to put some filters on.

[{sarah}]

When we told a certain person that i was pregnant the third time, this person said "oh really, that obviously wasn't planned." But the one that took that cake was very soon after in the same conversation, "well if this one was natural & DS was natural, what was IVF, a science experiment?" UMMMMM NO! That science experiment is your grandchild.

[Marlene]

I get that too...and I HATE it!!!!

[Arimeh]

Yup that was a very common reaction to this pregnancy (and still is if I tell friends who don't already know!) Umm... well yes it was planned, we had unprotected sex deliberately, he didn't accidentally fall in - and when I was ovulating and surprise surprise, I'm now pregnant.

Now - tell me about your sex life since we're swapping stories?

[ladybird11]

Why can't some people just be happy?? I wish I knew the answer...

[maz]

why cant people just be happy for others

[MrsFabuloso]

I know the feeling too. Poeple are so rude and unthoughtful.

The best answer I got was 'Really, AGAIN?? My god you two are like rabbits!!'