Gosh, reading this thread I think I have come off very lightly. I had a few "was it planned" but I just thought it was funny and a slightly strange question (which is what I said to the people asking). But I'm pretty sure it is just a way for them to be conversational about it, I really don't see any judgement at all.
But if I said to someone "I've got some wonderful news..." and they replied with a negative I would find that really strange & hurtful, I'm sorry for the ladies that have experienced that.
I have to confess to being on the other side of this .
When Pie's FDC carer told me she was pregnant, my first response was Congratulations...and then the mouth went before the brain & I blurted 'was it planned?' totally unthinking, I was very surprised as I had had the impression they were done.
And when I left there, it hit me what I had said, and i spent all day feeling absolutely horrible. When I went to pick Pie up that afternoon the first thing I said was 'I'm so sorry for what I said this morning, that was such a rude thing to say, i just didn't think etc etc'.
She laughed & said it was ok, they had had a lot of it and yes they had said they were done but changed their minds. I guess I got off lightly
So please, I apologise on behalf of all those who have ever suffered a MAJOR case of foot-in-mouth - *running away now*
ETA - although reading this thread, some of those comments are just so nasty, I can't believe anyone would think that, let alone say it
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