Gosh, reading this thread I think I have come off very lightly. I had a few "was it planned" but I just thought it was funny and a slightly strange question (which is what I said to the people asking). But I'm pretty sure it is just a way for them to be conversational about it, I really don't see any judgement at all.
But if I said to someone "I've got some wonderful news..." and they replied with a negative I would find that really strange & hurtful, I'm sorry for the ladies that have experienced that.