Right, I hate this cr@ppy lowered immune system because the baby is just a parasite living off me, I hate feeling like cr@p every day and no-one giving a d@mn, least of all my DH. I hate having a fat podge of a belly when I want to be either as flat-stomached as I used to be or pregnant, not podge-ised.
I hate my horrid DH who would rather Liebling and I weren't here so he could spend his money on cr@p, except he couldn't because it's MY wage paying for HIS car loan and HIS stupid hunk of cr@p in the garage that he calls a car when in fact it's just a load of rust (now with some paint on). I hate the fact he's at home "ill" when I know that I feel twenty times worse than he does on my good days. I hate that he told me I should give him sympathy when all he said about my (one bout of) morning sickness was "it's about time, isn't it?" I hate that he doesn't want to do any pregnancy classes or learn about the baby and that he told me he's "not ready to be a dad". If he's not ready to be a dad then WTF did he stop using condoms? The whole point of him being in charge of contraception was so that I didn't get so broody and have an "accident". I really hate the fact he tells me off for being irrational and upset when it's HIS BLOODY BABY that's giving me all these stupid HORMONES and making me feel like cr@p every day and then I'm supposed to come home to him and his horridness and be nice to him. I hate him! I hate the fact that he won't think of names for the baby, won't talk to the baby, doesn't want to do classes, look at pregnancy books, find out about giving birth or anything about babies - he doesn't even know how to change a nappy: probably doesn't even know what a nappy is apart from something to ignore when I bring it up in conversation.
I HATE HIM! I guess that's a normal part of pregnancy, though - right?
I also hate feeling like this and daren't take a sick day because I am already facing being made redundant, along with half the other girls with whom I work, and I hate feeling like I'm going to burst into tears all the time but can't, and I hate feeling like I have to watch what I say ALL THE FREAKING TIME because I'll upset someone with it - like usually my DH. I'm sure there are lots of people avoiding me know because I'm just not bothered with censoring myself so much any more. I also hate people who don't say "that's not how I feel" or "that upsets me" and just ignore me - TELL ME that there's a freaking PROBLEM and I'll sort it!
Sorry, I'm just so angry all the time and I also hate that I can't do my aerobics or kick-boxing to get rid of all this stress, I really, really need to.
Ryn, you sound just like I was when I was pg with Noah. I was horrible (not saying that you are of course) I knew that I was overreacting alot of the time but just couldn't help it. Of course it wouldv'e helped if everyone didn't go out of their way to annoy me so damn much.
Yep your supposed to either really love DH now or really hate him. Obviously, you've gone for the latter. I found that my DF wasn't hugely interested in bub until I was well and truely showing and after he saw the ultrasound he was a lot better too. Men are funny like that, we bond with our baby the minute we know it's in there. Men take a while to realise or accept (perhaps not the right words) that there is a little person in there and slowly they begin to love bub.
Just letting you know that your not alone in these feelings and that it WILL get better.... Someday
I just feel gross all the time. I think my stomach feels like it is in my throat. I constantly feel the need to spew, but I do feel alot better after I do a big spew.
I havent been able to eat meat, mashed food, oranges and most other fruits, or anything that tastes like anything at all because I just spew from it. I have so much trouble drinking any fluids at all, esp water as I vomit this up.
I dont like the constant need to eat and lie down because I am so tired. I cant sleep at night. I hate how the house is messy and I have no energy to do house work. DH has a cold and is lying down feeling sorry for himself and he is constatly sneezing all over me and breathing on me and coughing on the other computer, so I dont want to go near him because I'll probably catch his freaky disease.
I have no libido.
I dont like that I'll probably have even worse things happen with me in the coming months. I already want to leave work, but that is not just because of feeling sick but also because I feel a huge lack of respect from my colleagues.
Magnums are very helpful though, but this will probably make my bum expand alot.
After a perfect 39 week pregnancy with DS..I have to say I thought that this pregnancy would be similar. I have had bleeding on and off now for over a month, resulting in 10 days total in hospital stays. I just know that I am going to bleed again.. I know I will end up back in hospital again and I dont think we can take much more!! No one seems to know why it is happening which is frustrating. At the last bleed there was so much blood that I thought we had lost the baby.
It is taking its toll on DH, who has been wonderful. But, with all the time taken off work and all the stress with worrying about me.. and my DS.. he is being so brave but he cant understand why Mummy keeps going to the hospital. I am worried that he will resent his baby brother and I am trying so hard to not let that happen!
There are so many stories about bleeding in early pregnancy but I cannot seem to find many about late bleeding. I know it is all just one step at a time now.. At least the baby can be born without any major consequences.. But.. can it all please be over???
*sighs* I have to vent this and this is as good a place as any. Ever since I told mum I was pg she has been telling me what to do and what not to do and blah blah blah! I'm over it! Mum is a full on health fanatic (vegan vegetarian). So, everything I do is wrong. Don't eat this, eat more of that, don't buy anything yet, don't find out the sex...I told her tonight that I'm having my 12wk scan in 2 weeks cos I want the nuchal fold test. Well, that turned out to be a mistake! "Oh no don't get it done, only get the one they're bad and what are you going to do if it shows possible Downs etc." I said well at least I have time to get my head around it! I had 3 with Joshua and he is fine! She hasn't had kids (my bro and I are both adopted) so everything she is telling me is stuff she reads from health courses and natropath courses she does.....IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE! I just feel like crying right now and I don't mean to sound so horrible about my mum. I know she means well but pleaaaaaaaaase it's my body, my baby and I'm not stupid! Thanks for your ears.
I'm soooo tired. I amjust exhausted, and I dont know how to fix it. I'm seriously considering a sleeping pill option, cause I am beside myself.
I spent Sat looking after the drunk netball girls on our trip to Ballarat, and while it was my decision, I couldnt get away from cigarette smoke. I hate stale smoke, andthe pub we stayed was full of it. I stunk when I got home.
I got about 3hr sleep as the nightclub in the hotel boomed their music til about 3:30am, and I'm just completely f****d.
Yesterday I got a dry patch of skin on my nose, so I scraped it, and now I have this mammoth weeping swollen nose that is killin gme. My glands are up, I'm worried I have an infection that could hurt bubs, and I can't see my dr til Thursday. I tried to get to a dr's clinic tonight where I have been told the waiting time is 2hr (to probably see an immigrant dr that wont care anyway).
I've done some self diagnosis on the internet, and it very well looks like I could have contracted Herpes I, which is a complete ba$tard as I have never had cold sores, and I am so careful when Shane gets them. I am really worried that I might have passed on some of the bug to Jenna and I have caused a whole life of coldsores.
I know there are worse things that could happen, but I am seriously considering walking into a clinic and collapsing to try and ssee someone. I have an appt tomorrow with my clinic, but a different dr, and I'm going to ask him/her about what I can do to help me sleep. I'm not uncomfortable yet, I just lie awake for hours thinking.
I have 13w+ to go, and its only going to get worse.
Thankfully bubs has finally woken up and is kicking the cr@p out of me, so I know at the moment its OK, but what if I lose my nose through a flesh eating disease or something.
OMG - these hormones and the tiredness are killing me.
A flesh eating disease Fi?! It was funny til I thought about how scary that would be...hope you manage to see a (helpful) dr soon, poor thing!
How much does it suck that our immune systems seem to totally abandon us during pregnancy...I mean, I'm glad that the baby is prioritised, but argh!
My little vent is just that I'm sick of stressing about what position the baby's in, its spine is on my right side when it should be on my left, and I will do my exercises and sit and lie the right way, and it will move, and then...nope, it's back to the same spot as before!
The midwife says 'well, some babies just pick a spot they like and stay there'. I'm sure that won't sound so cute to me when I have a back labour...
I love it when people say to enjoy the last few weeks of you PG because when you have the babbies there will be no rest then, Heatburn,leg cramps,aching feet,don't like the smell of food cooking, todler tantrums, must be the weather cold rainy even if we have the enegy to do house work it's a good day if the washing to dry not that ive started washing the bubbies stuff yet.
Okay. I um..only vented two posts ago so a little disclaimer to anyone who doubts it - I AM very thankful to be pregnant and realise what a blessing it is.
But, HEARTBURN, AAAAARRRGH!!!
Trouble is, I can't decide what's worse, heartburn, or the texture of gaviscon, so I usually spend at least 30min in extreme discomfort, tossing and turning before I cave and take my medicine
First, my DH (and I don’t mean dear husband here). I’m back to hating him again after he managed to make me like him for about a week. He’s just such a prat. Really he is. I mean, I’m six months pregnant and he doesn’t care. He makes no secret of the fact that I’m not attractive and I hate that. Why can’t he just pretend to still like me? Why can’t he just pretend to be interested in what Liebling’s doing with the kicks? I’m getting so many now and I know it’s supposed to be fantastic but not when all I want is sleep and I can’t get any. I hate being so fat and ugly. I hate being so tired all the time that this is an issue. I hate doing all the housework. Yes, DH did the decorating and the central heating, but the SECOND his mother calls he skips round there to help her, why don’t I get help? I hate that she upsets him so much over the whole Christmas/Niece crap and then he’s off all skippy and happy. At least I’m cold to my parents for a few weeks after they p*ss me off. Why can’t DH just vacuum for me? Or do the cooking? Or do the washing up without being nagged – or think that because I’m off on Thursday I can cook and wash up on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and the weekend? I hate that! OK, so on Monday he does dinner. Woop-de-doo. Yes, it’s nice of him, but it’s not hard. If he did it every night I’d appreciate it. I hate having to nag him for help. I’m over six months pregnant – give me some help! I’m obviously fat too, so it’s not like he can forget. I hate being so fat and ugly. I hate it that I’m going to get fatter. I hate it that I get in and he’s on the computer shooting things and ignores me until dinner is ready then eats and is back to shooting. I hate that I never get to talk to him. I hate that he’s more interested in the TV than me – and we can’t go without a computer or a TV, heaven forbid! I just hate the fact that I’m never first in his life and he doesn’t even see what he’s doing.
And I hate my work. My day off is the only way I'm surviving it now, I have a job interview in January and I DON'T WANT ONE. I don't want the poxy "new" job, where I do twice as much work for no extra pay or hours. I don't want to run around after two consultants and I just know there'll be huge ****-ups because it's bad enough trying to just organise one consultant and a registrar, let alone two, then all the extra housemen! I don't want to take over the organisation of the Wednesday Educational Meetings, as Jen does them now; I don't want to have to re-learn nephrology for another specialist interest; I don't want to do a young persons' clinic when you get the mums of 19-year-olds calling up for results and getting narky because I can't give them out; I DON'T WANT TO DOUBLE MY WORKLOAD. This is crap and I'm so glad I'm out of it in just another 25 working days after today.
I hate the fact my DH doesn’t care about that. I hate it he doesn’t even know because his work is “too stressful” and he doesn’t want to hear about mine. He doesn’t care about anything that goes on in my life. He doesn’t hug me or kiss me unless I nag, he certainly isn’t interested in doing anything else, he’s crap. I hate him.
You know what else I hate? The fact that he’s so bloody sensitive I apologise to him when he’s p*ssed me off just to keep the peace a bit. The man is an insensitive buffoon who never listens to me then when I get upset he calls me an embarrassment. I hate him. Why can’t he just love me and try to make my life easier, not five thousand times worse?
I am so made that my maternity girdle hasn’t come in yet and I bought it a month ago. I need it! The bandage just isn’t doing the job now the pain has moved and I need something to hold my hips together. I hate that DH doesn’t care about this too.
And this sodding baby… OK, I do love my Liebling, but pregnancy has taken over my body. I’m tired and grumpy, I can’t walk anywhere any more, I feel like crap, I’m fat and ugly, I’m going to lose my job because I’m pregnant and they’re going to pretend it’s because there were more suitable candidates, I’m just so sick of everything. Normally I love the whole pregnancy thing, even when I feel like this, but the kicks just never stop, even when I walk around for ages trying to get the baby to sleep and I JUST WANT TO BE ME FOR TWO SECONDS. Not this huge fat thing I’ve become. I was even so knackered last night that when I finally got DH off the computer to e-mail my mum for her birthday I got her age wrong and had to mail an apology from work. I only realised when I was getting into bed that I’d done it wrong and so couldn’t sleep because I’m just being so stupid all the time and I’m sick of it. I know that’s not Liebling’s fault – it’s DH’s. If he came off the computer when I asked him then I could have done it before I fell asleep on the sofa. But ooooh no, shooting things is waaaay too important. I’m not going to hide or ruin his CDs. I’m going to fiddle with the computer so it will only turn on for me. DH does that, you know. So if I need to do e-mail and he’s away then sod it, he’s barred me from the computer. OK, I know I spend some time on the computer, but he spends hours shooting things and won’t talk to me, even about the sodding game. I hate all of this!
Why do I get my ten kicks within five minutes of waking up and why do they not stop all day? Why do I only get a 10-minute break between kicks? I know it’s fantastic to know my baby is alive and kicking (oh, and kicking so much!) but why can’t we just relax a bit? Why can’t I just look nice instead of being so fat? Why do people not just take pity on me and give me all this crap in my life – ok, so people on the end of a phone can’t know I’m pg (and I’m certainly not going to tell the people calling up about their infertility issues), but just people in general. Like at work; they must know I don’t need this crap. DH MUST know that I’m feeling this bad; he’s not blind. He’s just so useless. Did you know he doesn’t even want to cut the cord? Why does he even want to be at the birth? I don’t want him there. If he thinks I’m ugly now what on earth will he think when I’m in labour? And it’s not me imagining it – he told me this weekend it’s “normal” not to fancy your pregnant wife and that I’m emitting “not-turn-on” pheromones. The only good thing is that DH also stands for d-head, which is what he’s being.
I think that’s everything without repeating myself too much – I’m just so sick of all of this. I just want things to back down a bit – I could cope with everything without the work stress, or without the housework: it’s just one thing too much. I just want to spend all my time in bed playing with Liebling and not getting mad at the poor baby for kicking. And I don’t want to be so fat. I hate that all my clothes are tight and I can’t afford to get new stuff.
Well, I hope getting it all out helps a bit; no doubt I’ll just spend all evening crying because I’m too tired to do anything else! Bet my girlfriends will love that one, but at least I don’t have to put up with DH telling me off for it.
Ryn...huge for you. I wish there was something I could do or say to help you...I'd give you a real hug if you were closer and btw I think you look beautiful.
I hate not being able to sleep on my stomach! I cant get comfy in bed, sick of being kicked when all i want to do is sleep....
Also, i want to be able to shave my legs! I cant see them.. I am going to have to get them waxed, then i will have to listen to DF whinge coz it costs money! Oh how will i win?? Being preg in winter is so much easier.
Oh, Jen, I'm with you over the being kicked awake and can't get comfy! I really hope you get some good nights soon. Could your DF not do your legs for you? A couple of days in and he'll probably pay for your wax without complaint!
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I guess that's a normal part of pregnancy, though - right?
right now and I don't mean to sound so horrible about my mum. I know she means well but pleaaaaaaaaase it's my body, my baby and I'm not stupid! Thanks for your ears.
for you. I wish there was something I could do or say to help you...I'd give you a real hug if you were closer and btw I think you look beautiful.
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