DH and i fell pregnant with DS1 just after 12months of marriage (8 years together i think). He was planned.

DS2 was planned.

After DS2 we started discussing if we were going to have anymore children. DH said he was happy and content with our boys and i know a lot of it was being so greatful for the happy healthy children we had. Recent family tragedy definately made us look at what we had and be extremely greatful. At the time i felt i couldn't argue with that, my boys made me so overwhelmingly happy i had no complaints. I didn't have any feelings of wanting more.

So when i realised that i was late with AF and that there was a possibility that i could be pregnant i became a little stressed/unsure/scared. For the feeling of 'this wasn't what we'd planned' and that i wasn't sure how to tell DH. We had recently committed to putting in a new kitchen and taking a loan so me working would have been really helpful. We were both in the mindset that we were happy with two.

So the day i realised i didn't rush off to get a test, DH came home and i didn't say anything. I lay awake all that night, i could not sleep at all. It bothered me so much that in the end i just had to tell DH that i was 'late'. I did and i can't remember his exact words but it was along the lines of 'well what are we going to do about it?', he was in shock. My answer to that was 'well what do you mean by that? There is nothing we can do, it's possibly already been decided that we may be having another baby'. I had been laying awake thinking it over in my own head and there was no other option for me, termination just because it wasn't in our plans but we were fully capable and equipt to have another baby was not and option for me. I got in the car at about 4am thinking that our local Coles was open but it wasn't, i so needed to know then and there just so i could relax and sleep. I didn't get a test at that time but i did sleep a little better after telling DH.

The next morning once the boys had brecky we went for a walk down to the shops and got some tests. That test was so faint i'm not even sure if i saw anything but the test the very next morning there was definately a line. Once it was confirmed DH took a very short time to come around to the realisation that we'd be having another one and to be happy and excited about it. There was a little bit of me sensing his mood to get an indication on how he was feeling for a short while but it didn't take long for him to become his normal self and then i knew all was ok.

For me the acceptance was pretty much straight away but for a fair part of my pregnancy i did battle with some guilty feelings. It was me beating myself up about her not being planned and while i loved her to bits already i couldn't help think was it the right thing for us? I don't want her to ever feel like she wasn't wanted though.

Obviously people assumed it was about trying for a girl but that was never the case. We were lucky enough to be blessed with our own little girl though

Everything in our life has pretty much gone to plan and this was a huge adjustment for us but my god she is the best thing. For us to have something in life that we didn't decide on but is so freaking fantastic just makes our family whole, it is the best feeling for me.

I'm so sorry to hear of the difficulties your sister is going through. I could imagine it is tricky when outside influances can interfear so much with such a huge decision/realisation in the first place. The partner and his family my not like it or think of it as being ideal but it has happened and your sister can be the sole decision maker (if that's what it comes down to) on what she chooses to do with her body and and her baby. There is no going back now, there is only moving forward and you would hope that everyone will look at the situation for what it is, hopefully see a couple in love and support them with the choices they make. I know it's not that easy....

All the best, everyone handles these things differently and for the most part in the previous posts partners did come around in time. Some didn't end up working out in the long run but they give it a try.

All the best to you and your sister. I hope a happy ground can be found for everyone involved ox