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thread: Unplanned PG: What was DP/DF/DH reaction?

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  1. #1
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber
    Add Jellybean29 on Facebook

    Sep 2010
    Sydney
    1,090

    Ours was unplanned, we'd been married only 6 months and I was 25 and we weren't planning kids for 3-5 years. I remember just having this gut feeling that i might be pg even though I didn't keep a good record of my cycles I thought I could be late. With encouragement from a girl at work I POAS on my lunch break - negative! A week later DH and I had a day off together and I'd woken up with sore boobies. DH joked that maybe I was pregnant?? I said "haha no I'm not I actually took a test last week". It was a box of 3 tests though so then I added "look I'll prove it to you I still have two tests in the box" ..... Needless to say 4min later I was sitting on a toilet seat with undies round my ankles and a BFP in my hands!!!! Whoooops!!! Tbh I was the most scared of telling my folks - well really mum as I remember her saying at our wedding, no grand kids for 5 years! But her reaction was surprising. She just said "oh we'll you're an adult. You and Jared will just have to make it work." ! I was expecting a big lecture ! Yes things have been tough financially but I wouldn't change things for anything. DS is the most amazing little dude, my heart just explodes with love for him all day
    I hope everyone comes around eventually. Once the baby is born most people are usually banging down your door to see him/her!


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  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    439

    I haven't experienced an unplanned pregnancy either so cannot comment on personal experience but I am a youth worker so have had to support others in this situation (a little different I know as they're usually very young). I think it is good that they are now talking and I can understand her not wanting to tell parents etc but I think it is also important that she seek support from a counsellor or support network. Once a decision is made you cannot go back. she needs to be sure that her decision is definitely what she wants. It is too hard for you and her partner to be her only supports in this as you're both so close to the situation.

    If you google unplanned pregnancy, women's health centers or community counsellors in your area you should get some numbers and names of people who can help support.

    Big hugs to you all.


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  3. #3
    Registered User
    Add JennaJayen on Facebook

    Oct 2008
    Kallangur, QLD
    1,390

    My first pregnancy was unplanned, I was 17 and about to start year 12, on the pill and we were using condoms, and my ex-bf said to terminate or he would leave me but I said I wanted the baby and he didn't need to be a part of his or her life even thofugh he made my life miserable for those 2 week until I had my dating scan where the decision was pretty much taken out of my hands by everyone else, the scan showed that I was 6wks 4d and there were visible abnormalities not compatible with life, everyone told me to terminate because at my age I was too young to have to bury my own child. Looking back I know I could have done it and I regret doing what everyone else told me to do but I wouldn't have the family (or children) that I have now.

    My DS was also unplanned, I was on the pill and had been dating DH for 4.5, nearly 5, months when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared to tell him as I'd only done the test on a whim (I had been on the pill but the sugar pills didn't bring on AF so I got a bit worried), he called me that night while he was at work and asked what was wrong so I told him, he was quiet and just said "ok", I panicked a bit until he got home, turned out he'd bought another test for me so he could see it for himself and he was over the moon and so excited he called all our family that night.

    We've been married for just over 2 years now, and my current pregnancy was also unplanned, he didn't want any more kids and I wanted at least one more in 3-5 years time once DS was in school and DD was in pre-school or kinder so that it would be easier for, we went on our long overdue honeymoon and I came back pregnant lol my cycles had been all over the place and DD was almost 7 months old when I found out I was pregnant at 3wks 2d from LMP (approx 9-10dpo according to when we DTD, I thought I'd O'd 3 or 4 days earlier than that though as I'd been charting to keep track of everything so we would be "safe" when we DTD as the Pill doesn't agree with me).
    Only reason I suspected I was pregnant was because DH fried me up some eggs which I normally love and the smell and taste made me feel queasy, which only ever happens when I'm pregnant, the first 3 tests (over 2 days) I did the lines were so faint they were almost invisible and DH couldn't see them, so the day after the 3rd test (day 3) I got a BT done which came back with HCG levels of 16 and I bought another test which came up with a definite though still faint 2nd line.
    DH's first words were "What will we do?" I said "well terminating isn't an option for me after what happened with my first angel so it looks like we're having another baby".
    Neither of our families were pleased with it and even said outright to both of us that I should terminate, I hate it that DH had to explain to his parents why termination wasn't an option for me, and I hate that my own brother basically told me that I was a bad parent for wanting to have another baby even though I wasn't trying as I sometimes struggle with DS and his temper tantrums/mood swings.

    All in all though, I'm now a little over 20wks and we couldn't be happier, we have our ups and downs about it all but we work through it.

    I hope your sister and her BF can work things through!

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