Thanks so much, everyone! I was in a bit of a state last night, nearly in tears but incredibly tired so even though I had to get it out, I'm not sure it made much sense at all.

I guess at this point, all I can say is that my in-laws truly are Scottish! Funnily enough, my sister also married into a scottish family, and her DH is just as bad! I'm just so relieved that the pressure to accept this stuff isn't coming from DH, just MIL and SIL.

We were offered a bath frame. It's a wire thingy that a fabric sleeve goes over to support the baby in the bath... Erm, nice idea, but the plastic coating on the wire frame had come off in places and it had gone rusty - no thank you. But SIL couldn't see it. I said I'd wait and see when we've finally organised how we'll bath the baby, as with back problems I thought we'd want one that goes on a stand so baby is high up... We weren't two minutes down the road when SIL had called on DH's mobile to offer us a baby bath they had that could go on a stand... erm, no thanks! I have a horrible feeling it may have been the one that was on the porch when we arrived that looks like the ducks play in it! I was also offered a frame hang toys on for the baby to play with. Fortunately I was able to say that we already had a play mat with its own dangly toys so I could say no to another slightly rusty wire frame without guilt.

As for cloth nappies that are probably 45+ years old that MIL used... The only comment I have here is that I thought shaped cloth nappies were a modern thing. Perhaps MIL was way ahead of her time. We may eventually go cloth, but are sticking with disposables until we know how my arthritis will go after giving birth. But, using second-hand cloth nappies feels rather like wearing second-hand underwear, and there's no flipping way that I would, so why would I put them on my son?!

I realise that people attach many memories to outfits, but I'm not really the kind of person that attaches memories to things. I think it comes from my mother's family - they migrated to Australia in the 60s, and the "precious family heirlooms" tended to stay with the family in Holland (not that there's many to share around with my grandparents coming from families of 10 and 14 children). My grandparents' house was robbed at one point in time, and there went the items of jewelry that were my grandmother's that may have come down to us...

But... some of these outfits were so stained I can't understand why they were even kept! My niece pointed out the "big yellow stains" on the bottom of one romper suit type thing - if my 8 year old niece can see that I wouldn't want something, why can't SIL? In the end, I accepted it, because I was feeling bad for rejecting so much stuff! I am damned sure, though that quite a lot of stuff will just stay in the bag stuffed in the wardrobe and never get used at all! If charities wouldn't accept it, why should family?

Now... what's with lending out baby clothes that you'll want back? In particular, they are wanted back for when my niece has her own children. If things are that precious to you, why lend them out and chance them being unfixably ruined? We're talking singlets that MIL embroidered... I'm almost glad that MIL has now decided she's too old to do more as even though she didn't know the gender of the child she was embroidering for, they were all pink and flowery... Or perhaps MIL has picked up something in the last 11 years or so about the things I like and dislike?

I just don't get it!

But seriously, it is nice to hear that I am normal, and that wanting nice things for my child isn't some way that IVF has warped my brain. I know there's been some brain warpage going on, but it's nice to know that this isn't part of it!

However, I still don't get why I'm so funny about the going home dress and the pink sleepsuits. Little boys wear christening dresses all the time! As SIL says - who's going to see the baby when it's sleeping at night? Who's going to care? The only answer I have to that is that I will see and I will care. I honestly thing that I would probably still have the same aversion to pink and frilly if I were having a girl. The vast majority of stuff that I have bought really is gender neutral and I probably would have bought it anyway. I don't like pink, frilly, floral things, and I'm not going to gender stereotype my son into thinking that he can only like toy cars, trucks, trains, etc. Munchkin's clothes so far are tending towards brightly coloured and/or animal pictures.

Perhaps I should change the story after the next scan... the sonographer changed their mind about the gender, so now we really don't know and will have to wait until birth to be sure! I just feel bad about lying, and Munchkin is certainly NOT shy about flashing his bits at scans! I've had to be really careful not to book scans on a Friday because a friend from church works at the scan place on Fridays, and if she gets to do one, the game's well and truly up! Or perhaps it's a "locker room" thing - he's not been shy flashing for the male sonographer, but has been incredibly shy with the female OB! However, we're at least not getting pressure about revealing names with the gender mystery dangling before people! Not that we can decide yet - we've got a few, but I seem to change my mind on a daily basis.

BW