Parenting after LT TTC #8

[lise]

Hi dreamrise and Pumpkin Zulu, welcome to the thread and congrats on your little pink bundles

Dreamrise, what a rough trot you had, hope things can settle down down Danicia is here and you can enjoy your newborn smuggles.

PZ, I can only speak from my own experience but I'm afraid I STILL feel that way sometimes. Not always, but not always predictably either. A friend who also went through IVF for her first announced several weeks ago she was pregnant, and that it was a natural pregnancy. I was super happy for her - how often have we all dreamt that might happen?! - but I'd be lying if I said I didn't shed a tear or two for myself. But certainly everyone here knows where you're coming from xx

Jamie, thanks for your thoughts re childcare. You're exactly right. I used to work in childcare myself so am very particular about where I want DS to go. Unfortunately for financial reasons I had to leave him at this centre but without going into details suffice to say I was EXTREMELY unhappy and have pulled him out. He has a spot at the only centre I want him to go to from January and in the interim my sister, DH and then my mother (from October sometime) will look after him. Of course as soon as I'd made these arrangements the centre offered us a spot starting in a few weeks! I turned it down in the end as I think DS is still a little scarred from the other centre, and I also want him to get over all his illnesses before starting formal care again. I swear, this winter he's been sick just about every week!!!!! Plus it was on a day we have playgroup and I love playgroup - it's my original mothers group and we still catch up weekly.

Anyway, enough babbling from me. Have you moved yet Janie? Hope it went well!

And hello to everyone else, hope all is well. Come say hi and let us know how you're going

[Lily Dust]

I thought that once I finally had my own baby, the feelings of jealously over women who could fall pregnant easily would at least dissipate, if not go away altogether. But Isla is 3 months old, and from the day she was born, that I've still found myself feeling jealous and resentful over people that fall easily. Does anyone else still feel that, and does it ever go away? Xx

PZ, I have been stalking this thread for weeks now trying to work out how to ask that very thing!!!! So thank you Ive been here a few times but cant keep up as there are so many of us LTTTC'ers. I completely feel that way still and tbh am struggling with the wanting another baby, not sure it can ever happen again and terror of HG just to add insult to injury.

Do any of you ever feel like you dont 'fit' anywhere? Im 'that woman' you never want to hear about while undergoing IVF or LTTTC. We spent 5 years TTC, with 11 IVF cycles and still no baby. Were about to go back and I realised I was pregnant, 3 weeks later the HG started.

Sorry, a bit of a woe is me post but Im just trying to find somewhere where I fit these days.

[Lenny]

Lily - none of us fit but we just muddle along together and try our best to support each other. We are all a bit 'special' xx

PZ - lise said it beautifully. We all get those pangs sometimes. It's our history, our journey, and it makes up our story. Super sushee told me a long time ago that even she sometimes felt a bit of jealousy at other people's PAs. Not all the time, and it gets easier. But you sure haven't got that on your own

[lise]

Lily Dust, I spend much of my time IRL tying to work out where I fit, it's an awful feeling! But this is the beauty of this thread, you don't have to apologize for the 'woe is me' posts because we all know all about them I sometimes feel the same - although we went through IVF we achieved our BFP on our first transfer, compared to so many people on here my LTTTC with AC journey was/is very short. But for us it was still long, hard and incredibly painful and trying so this is where I feel most comfortable talking about some things. I hope you find 'your place' xx

Hi to everyone else! I'm enjoying some quiet time while DS is sleeping in his own cot, a bit of a rarity these days. His sleeping is worse than ever, he sleeps in our bed most nights, and while theoretically I'd rather him sleep in our bed happily than have him cry in his own bed, I just don't sleep well with him next to me so I'm a little sleep deprived! And he's decided day sleeps are for little babies so this week I think he's had a couple of 15 min naps and that's about it. I know he's tired but he WILL NOT sleep. I'm clinging to the theory that babies who don't sleep are very intelligent, if so then DS is a genius

Anyway, hope everyone is going well and enjoying grand finals (or cheering that the footy is over for a few months!!)

[grub17]

Hi girls
Long time, no post lol
My 2 bob: our journeys to have babies had been long and difficult and it changes you fundamentally, yup are never the same as before. With that change and growth also comes some insecurity and feelings around pregnancy and babies that isn't always rosy, but that isnot a bad thing, just something to be acknowledged and accepted I think.

Well my excuses for not posting lately are: 2 kids under 2, and the arrival of my smart phone which means I'm not on the laptop much....but I've got the app for the forums now sp we will see how it goes

kids are going well.growing so much! Immy is 4 months old already and such a placid bub compared to ds, who is cheeky and tells you so!

[lise]

Oh, I thought I had a response to my post from yesterday, only to discover it's not here for some reason. Oh well, can I blame baby brain? Yes ladies, I received confirmation yesterday that I'm PREGNANT! And what's more, it's a natural pregnancy!!

Was a very big surprise, we did IVF/ICSI for DS after FS telling us our chances of conceiving naturally were practically zero (DH has low sperm count, poor motility and morphology issues), so to achieve a natural BFP was quite a shock. We have a dating scan ( well that's what my gp wrote so I could claim it on Medicare, we all know it's just to reassure the anxious parents) on 10 November so of course I'll be a nervous wreck until then. I thought it might be easier second time around but not so, I'm just as paranoid over every twinge, cramp, frequency of toilet visits etc...

Anyway, hope everyone is well and busy (in a good way ) with their babies and toddlers. Finn is 15 months now and so much fun, he's such a sponge and just soaking everything up. I think DH is really starting to love fatherhood. Not that he didn't before, but now that DS is turning to his shadow, well I think he's a bit chuffed.

Better go do some tidying while I have the chance.

Hope you're all well,
Lise

PS - for those on FB, please not a word!

[oneday86]

Hi ladies i hope you don't mind me joining in here for you ladies that don't know me i will give a quick run down!!

DH and i took 2 yrs to concieve, we tried for 1 year naturally and 1 year of ICSI before our precious bub was concieved on number 6 transfer!
So we welcomed her into the world at 10:18am on the 11/10/11 by selective caesarian because she was breech, we didnt want to take any risks with having the external turn or a breech delivery after waiting so long for her. We named our little miracle Ellie Rose, she weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces and was 48cm's long! And we think she is just perfect of course I work in child care and obiously had a long time to prepare my self for being a mum but nothing prepared me the same as actually becoming one!! I think i may have had the slight 4 day blues, cried at the drop of a hat and wondered why our girl was unsettled alot but after 2 and a half weeks im feeling better and we are starting to get into some kind of routine but still not getting much sleep at night which i guess all of you can relate too lol. Well i look forward to getting to know you all and hearing about your miracle bub's too xxxx

[grub17]

Congrats lise!! Wow how fab!!!! fingers crossed it's all good.

Oneday! So glad you are here and ellie has arrived safe and well. She was a good size, just right by the sounds of it

[dreamrise659]

Hi One day,

Glad to see you in here and hear that everything went well with the birth of your little one.

Danicia is 2 months old today and finally starting to get better with sleeping and being happy when awake (for a long time it seemed that her awake time was only for feeding or grumping). she has also finally started smiling a bit.

I've started applying for jobs but with no luck. Of course with a young bub I'm restricted as far as what hours I can do (no evenings or weekends due to lack of childcare) and I only want to work part-time while she's little. It's quite depressing though that there are so few jobs to apply for and then it is so time consuming doing job applications (in short bursts while she's asleep) - last one was a total of 15 hours to address all the selection criteria and I still didn't get an interview. Getting pretty stressed as I still have to finish paying off my loan from the IVF and I'm barely managing my morgage repayments.

Lori (38)
DD1 (14yrs) - concieved naturally
DD2 (2 months) - concieved on 4th cycle of IVF after a 4 year journey to concieve
Country Vic

[Janie71]

Wow Lise, what awesome news. I love it when we have a natural surprise within us LTTTCers, gives us al hope you know.

Welcome Oneday and Dreamrise. Congratulations on your new arrivals.

Well I have big news also, although not quite as big as you Lise. We have finally decided to go back for a try for a sibling for miss j. We have an appointment with FS mid Nov, but as we are in Vic we still have to do all the Police checks etc. Hoping that we may get a FET in before the end of the year, but we will see how we go timing wise. We have 5 embies on ice that were all collected at the time of miss j. I am feeling hopeful as j was the result of a FET. If we don't get success with our frozen embies then I will be able to put TTC to rest. I am not willing to do another stim cycle, so it really is in the hands of the gods. Wish us luck.... Here we go again!

All is well here, jazzy is just a delight. Can you believe that she starts 3 year old kinder in January? She doesn't turn 3 until April, but because we are doing it through our CC she is able to start earlier. We are in the midst of toilet training and it is going pretty well. Jazzy is loving here swimming lessons and we are about to start a dance class today. So it is all go here.

Hope everyone is all well.

Janie xxx

[oneday86]

Thanks ladies
dreamwise i'm glad its not just my bub that's like that!! Ellie will be happy and content for about half an hour and then starts to get grumpy and if i take her out of her routine then she gets over tired and will just scream for hours before she finally goes to sleep, she is a funny girl very wise i think but we love her to bits and i can't help but kiss and cuddle her all the time even when she is being a bugger lol.
You poor thing having to go back to work this soon but i know what you mean we spend so much money trying to get pg it takes our time away with bub, Dh and I worked out we should be financially okay for me to have the year off but if not i may need to go back a bit earlier. xxx

Janie, that's exciting!!! you must have a good bub or what people say must be true that things get easier and you forget how hard the first few months are cause i actually said to my DH maybe we will just have the one lol we want another one but i think we will wait till she is about 2? will see xx

[saph204]

Welcome to all those new mums. Very exciting time for you all.

Lise you clever lil thing. Congrats

Janie fingers crossed for you.

Well life goes on here, our baby factory has closed up shop. DH has gone and had the snip and we have sold all of our baby stuff. Campbell starts at fulltime school next year and we are currently doing all the orrientations for his new school. I have also been able to negotiate with work so that I can do all the school drop offs. This is very hard to do in my job because I am a teacher and I need to be in class st the same time as Campbell. So only one in daycare next year. Yay

Glad everyone is doing well.

[lise]

Welcome oneday and a big congrats!!! I know what you mean - I also worked in childcare years ago and thought I was prepared for a baby, and then. Just found myself so completely overwhelmed with love foe this tiny little person, blew me away!! Hops you're starting to get some sleep!

Dreamrise, glad that Danicia is settling down for you, makes it so much more enjoyable when they are awake and happy and starting to smile Good luck with the job hunting, fingers crossed something suitable turns up soon.

Saph, Such good news about changing your work hours to accommodate Campbell at school. I don't even want to think about the logistics of one at school, one at childcare just yet!!!

Janie, yay for ttc #2!!! Fingers crossed you can squeeze in a FET before Christmas and that's it nice and sticky! Which clinic do you go to?

Hi ya grub! Can't believe immy is 4 months already, that has flown!

Well I have a sad miserable little boy at the moment. He has hand foot and mouth disease and is such a sad little sausage. Usually it doesn't itch, but apparently it is quite common for children with skin issues (Finn has eczema) to itch with it and DS is itching big time. Last night he was awake every 20-30 mins and pretty much cried half the night, and there's nothing I can really do to make him feel better am hoping it clears up soon, or at least that it stops bothering him.

[BOC]

Just popping in to say a huge congrats to Ms Lise and how awesome is your ticker!

And a great big to everyone else and to the newbies!

Not much happening her, same old same old. Just freaking out slightly that its about 7 weeks to Christmas. Yikes!

[JBM]

it wont be long before i will be joining you ladies !!!!!!

this has been such a long journey and i think it is still sinking in that i am having a baby and very soon !! lol



hope everyone is well and babies are well too.

chat soon

[Lenny]

Hi JBM - looking forward to you BA soon!! This thread needs a kick-start.

[saph204]

Lenny you are so right, I for one seem to think that life has taken over. So let me be the first to give everyone an update.

Campbell is doing really well. We seem to have lots of strategies in place to help deal with his sensory processing and he is coping with daily living better. Really we have a different boy on our hands. He is now able to verbalise his fears instead of just freaking out all the time. It is a big time for him. He is finishing up at daycare and kindy and starts at a new private school next year for fulltime school. I am excited as my work hours have changed and I will be able to drop him off and pick him up from school everyday. Yay!!

Xavier is growing so fast. He is nearly 2. He has delayed speech and after 12 months of going back and forth to the doc and being told he has a virus from daycare and his speech will come when he is ready I finally got as referal for a hearing assessment and ENT. His had a moderate hearing loss on the day of the test after 2 weeks on antibiotics. Then to the ENT his ears were fine, but he needs to have his tonsils and adenoids out. I begged to have the grommits put in as well. I think that he wasw a bit ****ed off with me questioning his judgement, but if he has to have surgery I only want it to be once. Poor thing has never had an ear infection or tonsilites, but is always so congested he is always bruised across the bridge of his nose.

As for me, I am plodding along. I have finally after more than 2 years been abl to ditch the brace for my SPD. This is a huge milestone, as I am starting to feel like I can exercise a little more and I am sure that getting some weight off will help me improve even more.

JBM - I am watching you, waiting for you to join us in here. lol

Hope everyone is doing well and not cracking under pressure with the lead up to Chrissie. Gotta go Can hear my lil boy shouting mummum. It is bnice to hear him talking doesnt happen often.

[onthefly]

Hi again, welcome and congratulations all round
Please excuse my slackness.

I think that as I get older I gain perspective. It would be nice to get pregnant without forking out thousands of dollars, but I have wasted so much of my life wishing things were different and concentrating on what I don't have, and I really want to be done with that.

In brighter news, my christmas shopping is done. Just one secret santa gift We banned presents years ago. phew.

Stay well mummas & bubbas