Ok so we were aiming for a gap of 2.5 years, started back on the AC rollercoaster when DS1 was 16 months (I think). He's now 3 and I probably can't do a cycle tll Jan 2013 so we are now looking at a gap of close to 4 years minimum. It took 18 months to get our BFP which I have just lost at 12 weeks, so if it takes another 18 months from January then we are looking at a gap of 5.5 years. This is not how I imagined my family. I know that you don't have control over this stuff but you have a picture in your head you know? I am struggling with the expanding gap at the moment- IF we are lucky enough to have another one, I am also struggling with the concept of never having another one. I thought when I was TTC #1 that I would be happy with 1 if I was lucky enough to get 1, but I'm not. I desperately want another child. For us and for our son.

Has anyone else had these feelings? Does it get easier over time? Will I learn to live with our family as it is and be happy with that or will I always feel like there's someone missing?

Sorry for random jumbled thoughts. Having a bad day.