thread: Pregnancy after Long Term TTC - June 2008

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Rural England
    855

    Devon - ahhh! So pleased everything went really well with your scan! And it leads me to ask: who... has been teaching your bub to give the finger?! Baby with attitude! Such a great NT result, and I'm glad that you're feeling like it'll be a bit easier to relax now - you certainly sound it in your post, hun!! Huge congratulations, and I hope the buzz keeps going and going as you head further into your lovely healthy pregnancy

    scooby - so very relieved to hear your result too, lovely! Yeehaw, alright! Everything on track, and so glad you know what the spotting is. Enjoy the feeling - there is nothing like it, is there? So pleased for you

    BW - firstly I've read your last couple of blog entries, in particular today's one. If it helps at all,I really really understand that feeling of being completely at a loss, and still worried. Having that scan at 12 weeks is brilliant, but within a week of that, I found for me that the worry returned and it was hard again. And then to have your OB breeze you through an appointment and not deal with anything other than the physical aspects of where your pregnancy is at now... My first OB appointment was scheduled by my GP over here at 11 weeks and he basically said to me "What are you doing seeing me so early? I don't need to see you until 21 weeks - I didn't even get to ask my questions before I was bundled out of his office, so I really get that feeling. I felt so disappointed and fragile about the whole thing. And not long after my 12 week scan, I started to feel lost and worried because of - exactly as you say - this big gap where nothing is going on, and you don't feel or look very pregnant, there's nothing tangible to associate with this little thing that's meant to be growing inside you, and you're struggling because of all you've been through to get to this point. You recognise that everything is going well, and that being told "I'll see you in so many weeks" is a good comment coming from your OB, but it doesn't satisfy the fear and concern you still have. When the milestones and appointments are coming thick and fast, and least you're having regular enough reassurances about everything. So please know I really get where you're at atm. It took a little time to get it for me (3 separate tries over 2 weeks), but can you see your GP and have a listen for the heartbeat with a Doppler somewhere in that gap within the next few weeks? I can't tell you how much reassurance and relief that gave in that time where not a lot was happening and when I wasn't being directed in my antenatal care at all. Can you arrange to have your acupuncture more regularly still? I also found that, as you've said focussing on the future and the positives helped too, as often as I was able to amongst the worries. I also wanted to let you know, just as Devon has said, it's ok to enjoy things and not to feel guilty for it, even if it just happens for moments at a time. It struck me - and hopefully it's ok to be suggesting it - that if you're thinking about changing your avatar soon, maybe you might like to memorialise your angels in your avatar in some way? It wouldn't have to be a big deal or over the top, just something that was significant to you in acknowledging the importance of your angels in your journey and that they will always be with you, whether there are times that you are coping better or not. I think you're doing so amazingly - you've been through so much to get to this point, and you have so much strength to go through challenges the way you do. I hope that coming off the metformin isn't too stresssful for you. I can imagine how hard that must be, as it's hard enough to feel in control of where you're at now without having to let something go like that. Arghhh, sorry for the huge rambling post, but I wanted to let you know that I do understand where you're coming from, and I'm thinking of you lots.

    All is well here - nothing further to report! Ahh, except that I'm starting pregnancy yoga next week for the first time, and I'm thinking about looking further into acupuncture for the first time - it feels really nice to be doing so positive, proactive things at this point.

    and hi to Shannon, and to all you lovely yummy mummys and mums-to-be.

    Miss C

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    6,706

    Miss C, thank you! I think I've got my blog fixed and working so that people can actually comment on it now, but thank you for taking the time to sympathise with me and let me know I'm not being crazy or unreasonable!

    For those who haven't read my blog - my OB was called out to a birth during our appointment yesterday so we had all of 5 minutes. Blood pressure was checked, baby was check with an ultra-quick scan that stopped as soon as a heartbeat was found, I was told to take more iron tablets (2 each day, not one), and that was it. No chance for me to ask questions about the next stage, no chance for me to find out if this little iron-leach I have could be sucking other minerals out of me as well, no chance to ask about the rotten headaches and muscle cramps that I've been having. She completely forgot about sending me for the early glucose test, and I'm not complaining too much, but with being off the metformin and still on the prednisone I'm worried that problems may go undetected for too long. Prednisone messes up blood sugar and insulin levels, and the metformin was at least protecting me from a bit of that. I do absolutely nothing for the next 4 weeks, and then in the space of a week I have my 18 week scan, my next acupuncture appointment, my next OB appointment and a wedding!

    I'm feeling a bit calmer about it all this morning. I've emailed a friend (who just happens to be an OB), and hopefully she can tackle some of my questions and give me some reassurance. I was already thinking along the lines of what Miss C suggested and seeing my GP in a few weeks - even if it's just to get my iron levels rechecked and make sure everything is ok there. I've been seriously thinking of hiring a doppler to allow me to keep an eye on things... And I suppose the one thing I need to get my head around is that I'm 14 weeks today (my ticker will catch up in a bit, I'm sure!), I'm past the danger period, I'm settling into the second trimester, and there's not a whole lot that NEEDS to happen now, other than the baby doing a stack of growing!

    Devon, thank you also for your reassurance. It just feels a little like I'm forgetting my angel babies and they don't matter now that I have one that is giving every appearance of sticking... I know it's not true, but this horrid game messes with your head something horrid!

    BW

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member

    Apr 2007
    In my own little world!!!
    1,483

    Hi Everyone
    I've been to scared to post...but have been lurking...we had our 6 week scan on Tuesday and saw a beautiful little heartbeat! Still absolutely terrified...but we live in hope! Looking forward to joining in if that's ok?

  4. #4
    Moderator

    Dec 2006
    Smidgen-ville
    3,736

    My heart leapt for joy when i saw your name Ellie,
    Biggest hugs to you

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jun 2008
    Perth
    242

    Hi everyone!

    Ellie - big congratulations on your pregnancy! And congratulations on seeing the heartbeat on Tuesday, that's one big hurdle out of the way. Welcome to the thread and looking forward to chatting to you. I can only imagine how terrified you must be, I have lost one baby and I am still so worried that something will go wrong. Can I ask how far along your angel babies were? I really hope that this little one is a stayer for you.

    MissC - thanks hun! It sounds like you're feeling really good, which is fantastic. I hope the pregnancy yoga goes well. I really recognise what you said to BW - I start to feel a bit scared again a few days after a good ultrasound - I need evidence that things are still going well. It sounds like you got some pretty offhand treatment from your OB - surely they should be used to pg women's anxieties and need for reassurance?

    BW - oh geez, I would be hugely disappointed with that OB appointment!! We hang out for weeks for these appointments, to have it over in 5 minutes would be awful. It's great that you have a friend who can advise you on pg stuff. I've found the midwives at my OB's rooms to be quite available for me - the one who is in on Fridays said I can come in for a reassurance scan whenever I want. I wonder if there's anyone else who could do a quick scan for you when you're worried? Regarding the iron - I was advised by the midwife to take 'Spatone' - its an iron-rich mineral water from Wales (not whales and my friend thought!!), I take one sachet a day in a glass of juice, you can take up to two if pg. The iron is supposed to be more readily available to your body than that in tablets. But of course, I'd check any recommendation out first. I think it's made me feel a lot better, less breathless and more energy.

    Big day for me today - I bought my first maternity clothes! Bought a pair of jeans and an elasticised boob tube thing that also acts as a top extender. I felt really weird buying maternity clothes - I still haven't really properly acknowledged that I'm pg, I felt a bit like a fraud just going into the shop. But my belly is getting too big to fit into my normal clothes - I haven't been able to wear jeans for weeks. We also told my SIL. DH got out the ultrasound pics and handed them to her - she immediately burst into tears! She's very sweet, and took her 2 years to get pg with her DS, so she understands that side of things. It was really lovely. Still feels scary telling people, I feel like I'm going to jinx it.

    I hope everyone else is doing well and little bubbas are going strong.

    Love
    Devon
    xxxx

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    6,706

    Ellie, I'm SO happy to see you hear!

    Devon, I know the feeling about maternity clothes! That was our mission today - find some! I felt really strange trying them on when I don't have an obvious belly, but even the size 14 help I have OHSS clothes won't fit much longer!

    As for the OB appointment - it wouldn't have been much longer even if she hadn't been called away, we just might have had a bit more time for some social chit-chat and a few questions. Apparently I'm now at the utterly boring stage of pregnancy where the first trimester risks are gone and there's virtually no chance of the other pregnancy complications setting in yet. So all they can do is check my blood pressure and do a quick scan! I feel so much better now that I know everything that happened is standard, even the double dosing on the iron tablets (for everyone whose levels are below 100, mine were 90). I guess it's just strange to now be "medically normal" after the unidentifiable arthritis and the complicated IVF history I have. It's really hard to get my head around being a low risk pregnancy at this point in time.

    Oh, we're telling church tomorrow! DH has done up a little powerpoint thingy with trumpet fanfares and a scan picture. It's rather cute, but it's a huge step that I'm freaking out over a little! Again, can't get my head around being low-risk, normal and OK for the first time in my life in about 7 years!

    BW

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Rural England
    855

    Ellie - Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you're feeling well, and I know you'll feel really supported and understood here. It's a big step coming into the forum, especially when you're feeling really scared about the pregnancy, but I'm so glad you've taken the leap So glad that everything is going well for you and the baby so far - the heartbeat is the most miraculous thing!! May everything continue to go well, and you're super-sticky bub keep growing away beautifully.

    Devon - congratulations on the maternity purchases!! I've found buying maternity clothes and even some baby items now really helpful for accepting and getting over the disbelief of the pregnancy. And it's perfectly normal to feel like a fraud - I really understand that feeling. I think time is really the best thing that helps that, as you start to feel more and more secure of everything continuing to progress on the path it is. It's wonderful that you know that you can have a scan for reassurance. What a lovely response from the SIL - really nice that she really gets the importance of where you're at and what you've gone through to some extent. Hope you and baby are continuing to feel well

    BW - it must be very weird after all this time, all that you've been through not just TTC but healthwise to be told "OK, you're fine, now go relax - we don't need to do anything else for you". Very hard to get your head around, I'm sure! I understand that too. I think our brains get conditioned to believe that we're not capable of staying pregnant because of loss and "failure", and it correlates particularly to how much "failure" and loss you've been through. It's something that's really hard mentally to get your head around, especially when you're told you're "normal". But I've been trying to embrace that about being pregnant now. All the pieces fell into place, and now my body is doing what comes naturally. Sustaining and developing a pregnancy. Some days it's easier to feel that than others, and some days the worries are back, and other days they're not. And I'm glad that you feel more relaxed about the standard things that have been happening. I hope they help you relax, even though that mental battle will always be hard.

    Miss C

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    Perth, WA
    1,240

    Ellie...congratulations!

    May this pregnancy be one that is flooded with joy and hope and giggles!

    So thrilled for you!

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