Devon - ahhh! So pleased everything went really well with your scan! And it leads me to ask: who... has been teaching your bub to give the finger?! Baby with attitude! Such a great NT result, and I'm glad that you're feeling like it'll be a bit easier to relax now - you certainly sound it in your post, hun!! Huge congratulations, and I hope the buzz keeps going and going as you head further into your lovely healthy pregnancy

scooby - so very relieved to hear your result too, lovely! Yeehaw, alright! Everything on track, and so glad you know what the spotting is. Enjoy the feeling - there is nothing like it, is there? So pleased for you

BW - firstly I've read your last couple of blog entries, in particular today's one. If it helps at all,I really really understand that feeling of being completely at a loss, and still worried. Having that scan at 12 weeks is brilliant, but within a week of that, I found for me that the worry returned and it was hard again. And then to have your OB breeze you through an appointment and not deal with anything other than the physical aspects of where your pregnancy is at now... My first OB appointment was scheduled by my GP over here at 11 weeks and he basically said to me "What are you doing seeing me so early? I don't need to see you until 21 weeks - I didn't even get to ask my questions before I was bundled out of his office, so I really get that feeling. I felt so disappointed and fragile about the whole thing. And not long after my 12 week scan, I started to feel lost and worried because of - exactly as you say - this big gap where nothing is going on, and you don't feel or look very pregnant, there's nothing tangible to associate with this little thing that's meant to be growing inside you, and you're struggling because of all you've been through to get to this point. You recognise that everything is going well, and that being told "I'll see you in so many weeks" is a good comment coming from your OB, but it doesn't satisfy the fear and concern you still have. When the milestones and appointments are coming thick and fast, and least you're having regular enough reassurances about everything. So please know I really get where you're at atm. It took a little time to get it for me (3 separate tries over 2 weeks), but can you see your GP and have a listen for the heartbeat with a Doppler somewhere in that gap within the next few weeks? I can't tell you how much reassurance and relief that gave in that time where not a lot was happening and when I wasn't being directed in my antenatal care at all. Can you arrange to have your acupuncture more regularly still? I also found that, as you've said focussing on the future and the positives helped too, as often as I was able to amongst the worries. I also wanted to let you know, just as Devon has said, it's ok to enjoy things and not to feel guilty for it, even if it just happens for moments at a time. It struck me - and hopefully it's ok to be suggesting it - that if you're thinking about changing your avatar soon, maybe you might like to memorialise your angels in your avatar in some way? It wouldn't have to be a big deal or over the top, just something that was significant to you in acknowledging the importance of your angels in your journey and that they will always be with you, whether there are times that you are coping better or not. I think you're doing so amazingly - you've been through so much to get to this point, and you have so much strength to go through challenges the way you do. I hope that coming off the metformin isn't too stresssful for you. I can imagine how hard that must be, as it's hard enough to feel in control of where you're at now without having to let something go like that. Arghhh, sorry for the huge rambling post, but I wanted to let you know that I do understand where you're coming from, and I'm thinking of you lots.

All is well here - nothing further to report! Ahh, except that I'm starting pregnancy yoga next week for the first time, and I'm thinking about looking further into acupuncture for the first time - it feels really nice to be doing so positive, proactive things at this point.

and hi to Shannon, and to all you lovely yummy mummys and mums-to-be.

Miss C