I've had nothing more so far. Not sure that I will be able to sleep too good tonight. *sigh*.
How is everyone else anyway? TL - did those maternity clothes go alright? I'm dubious about buying off the internet. I am pear shaped naturally and find it difficult to buy skirts, trousers, dresses because of my big-butt. How do you know the clothes will fit/look good?
MON!!! So happy to see you here! Must have missed something because it was a complete surprise to me, but I must say that it's an absolutely WONDERFUL surprise anyway!
Nixon, I hope the spotting goes away and never comes back. I had a small episode at 17 weeks that my OB could never find a source for it and there's been nothing since.
With maternity clothing... I've bought a lot online and had very few problems. Because they are generally much looser around the belly area getting them to fit is heaps easier.
Thanks for the warm welcome ladies and to all those familiar ones: BW, TL, BG, Nic and Shann. So glad to hear all is going well with your PGs.
Looking forward to getting to know the rest of you and thanks for your tips. I think once I go for scan it will feel more real. I did another HPT this morning - just to get rid of the last one and was so nice to savour the 2 lines!!! Have at least made it further than last time, so already that is a good sign.
nix - hope the spotting goes away and is nothing to worry about. that would do my head in too.
Mon
Hi everyone. I am absolutely devastated. There was no heartbeat today, our darling baby has died. I can't describe the heartache I am feeling, the absolute loss. I can't imagine starting IVF all over again. I cant think much of anything except our sweet baby is gone...I loved it already. Now I either have to wait for a miscarriage or have a curette.
I am lost
sending love to our beautiful angel, who stopped growing at 8 weeks.
Nixon- I hope all's OK with you..glad the spotting stopped
Last edited by Possums; October 17th, 2008 at 01:24 PM.
i'm so sorry Possums - take your time to grieve hunny, and only move forward when you are ready to - don't let anyone tell you what time you should take - this is a heartbreaking and very personal grief
Oh Possums my heart aches for you and DH i am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your beautiful little baby. We are all thinking of you, look after yourself.
Sweets - I wish I could say something that would make it easier. You need to be angry, sad, bitter, numb and the horrible part is you have to allow yourself to feel it all.
If you have a brick wall in your drive way I suggest purchasing some cheap plates and smashing them or getting some sort of punching bag and give it a good beating. I need a physical release in times of high emotional distress.
Is DH ok? I hope you are both able to support each other at the moment. It can be hard sometimes because boys sometimes don't get it. The pressure we put on ourselves to be career women, mothers, lovers, best friends, sisters, aunty and to be the best in all areas. They sometimes don't get how responsible we feel for our families and friends and I really hope that you are not blaming yourself for this sweetheart.
I could have echoed so many of your words in July last year when we lost our first baby also at 8 weeks and 5 days...
It is heartbreaking. Don't force yourself to feel anything you're not ready for. When the shock and anger goes, the grief and tears will come.
All you can do for now is take it one day at a time and know that it will eventually get better. Take the time to grieve and recover before you even think about getting back into IVF.
Once again, I am so very, very sorry that you have had to endure the heartache of loss after the hell of IVF.
Just thought id drop into to say a quick hi its been soooo busy in here i cant catch up!!
Once again Possums sending you really big hugs the girls are right take all the time you need and dont let anyone tell you what you need or dont need. I really am just devasted for you
Mon: welcome, so glad you got your BFp that is just great and i "still" check when i wipe (whats with that!)
Wont even atempt personals sorry but ill try to stay more in touch!
Hi to everyone
Oh Shannon how are you going i read your post but you didnt up date us and the weeks must be closing in?
Nixon, I think it was you who asked how DH is- he's obviously really upset also and a bit angry and bitter too.
Having said that, we deal with these things very differently, and it does sometimes make it hard for me. He doesn't say much about how he's feeling, or express much, and i am very emotional and a big talker. So sometimes I feel a bit isolated and separate from him, even though I know he hurts too and is also upset to see me so upset. Plus, he doesn't get as upset as I do...I think it's different when you are the woman and the baby is inside you. He is more able to recover quickly and move on (we experienced this with our earlier loss this year and also during IVF).
Can any of you relate to this...? It would be easier for me if he was crying alongside me.
Possums, my DH won't allow me to see him in pain very often - i can see it in his eyes, but he won't openly grieve unless i have fallen apart and have pretty much walked away from him cos i think he's not there for me. i know he feels the pain, but he won't express it at all as he feels he needs to be strong for me. i don't agree, but hey, i can't change who he is! the only time he allows me to see him vulnerable is about his parents, and his dogs - because that is HIS pain and i can be the strong one then - when it's OUR pain, he tries to be my rock - sometimes i need him to be soft and squishy and not so rock-like though...
BG- thanks for sharing that. I think DH tries to be strong too. I think sometimes it's also a case of 'men are from mars...' and very different ways of expressing emotions. He also can't understand/sometimes gets frustrated when I start talking about the same emotions over and over again..it's like I need to keep venting, and he's like "yes, but I already know all this stuff"...and i think feels frustrated because he can't 'fix it' for me and just doesn't know what else to say. Fortunately we are able to talk about these differences more now, after our years together and that openess helps. I am also fortunate I have a wonderful mum and a few close girlfriends who can be more emotional with me. And I also have BB to help.
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Must have missed something because it was a complete surprise to me, but I must say that it's an absolutely WONDERFUL surprise anyway!
We are all thinking of you, look after yourself.
but ill try to stay more in touch!
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