Pregnancy After LT TTC ~ August 2006

[Keen]

if you guys do develop yourself a little group - please remember to come back and get me whenever my time decides to come along!

[Shezabelle]

Hi eveyone
I too will miss you all if/when you go. There will be so few of us left soon and if you all go I'm next after the big run and I'm just not qualified!!! I love the support and ressurance from you guys that have been there!!

Well I guess we will just have to recruit recruit recruit!!!

[{sarah}]

Just remember ladies, if it wasn't for BellyBelly you'd never have met.....

It's your decision what you'd like to do & it's not like we're going to stop you from doing something else. However using this forum as a place to discuss what you're planning or for recruiting members to another site is inappropriate. If it continues I will be deleting the posts concerned.

[Melbo]

Sarah, this is disturbing. A Yahoo group is hardly a new website and I am not "recruiting" members. I am very disappointed in the way this whole thing has been handled. While it may be true that we may never have met if not for BB, it is also true that many of us are Platinum and Lifetime members who have contributed financially toward the site and I don't think we deserve to be spoken to that way. I have always been a strong supporter of BB and have recommended this site to many people I know and have encountered during my TTC and subsequent pregnancy journey. I object to my loyalty now being questioned in this way.

My apologies to others in this thread as I have no wish to cause you distress or upset in any way.

Melissa

[Melbo]

Now, back to business ...

Justine, how are you this morning?

Hope all you other ladies are well.

[Sal]

Well I'm not one to back away from an issue. The fact is that we all want to keep chatting as we have developed a bond. We requested a thread, being aware that this is a pg thread not a post-pg thread, and we were shot down. We accepted the decision of the mods and just continued to lurk and chatter in this thread - showing more interest in the lovely preggies here than in the post-preggies mind you - but do continue to post and ask about each other.

Then there is a post reminding us about how this is a pg thread, so some of us posting here feel like we have to leave. Again the idea of another thread for us is shot down. So there is a suggestion of an off-line way of us still keeping in close contact. Nothing said about leaving BB altogether, and Mel points out that most of us are financial contributors to this site.

And now there are threats of deleting posts that are "recruiting members to another site". What the?????? We cannot in this way be accommodated on this site, so for the purposes of baby chatter we will have to do it elsewhere. If even one of us 'quit' BB I'd be amazed, we have other interests and friends here, not least of which is the LT TTCers that we barrack for and also the preg after LT TTCers, whose delight we can share in.

[{sarah}]

Making references to

please consider my proposal re the Yahoo Group if you are interested. I will PM or email all concerned as soon as I can.

Well I guess we will just have to recruit recruit recruit!!!

does appear to be recruiting, but I may have it wrong???

I was not questioning anyone's loyalty, simply saying that it's against BB guidelines to promote another website, which is what you are doing. Sure it's not another site, but promoting a Yahoo Group none-the-less in this thread it exactly what you are doing. We don't allow any promotion on this forum. The guidelines also state that if you have an issue wth a moderator decision that it should be brought up privately with that moderator or with Kelly. Instead the issue was left alone for a few months then brought back up in here. If you had a problem with it, speak to someone.

As for the actual issue at hand, it has been discussed extensively by the admin & mod teams where the decision was made not to open up a buddies group for the long term TTC members. The reason is that although you develop a bond going through LT TTC there is no reason why you need your own seperate group once your babies are born. The issues, triumphs, questions etc are all the same once the baby has been born whether you fell pregnant unexpectedly or were TTC for a long time.

[Melbo]

I don't see any posts of mine saying "recruit recruit recruit".

You may not see it as questioning anyone's loyalty but that is how it came across. And if you did not want the issue addressed in this forum then perhaps you should first have addressed it to me, privately as well. It cuts both ways.

[Sal]

Well I think you do have one of those quotes wrong. Shez posting "we will just have to recruit recruit recruit!!!" is actually talking of getting more LT TTCers into this thread.

Sarah, you say "if it wasn't for BellyBelly you'd never have met". What about the fact that without the members (especially the financial members) BellyBelly would be nothing?

The fact is that we, mostly financial members, have a need for a way to chat but this has been disallowed. It's fine for mods to decide that "there is no reason why you need your own separate group once your babies are born" but we want one. So it seems BellyBelly is unwilling to accommodate us in this respect.

Your point about 'promoting' (which is a bit of a stretch) is noted. So PM'ing it will be. I'm surprised that you prefer this to accommodating your customers.

[{sarah}]

As for semantics I did not specifically mention a name when I spoke of recruiting.

A question was asked on the forum, can you have a new forum for after babies? I replied with a no and the conversation was continued, despite the guidelines stating

10. The decisions of the Moderators and Administrators are final. There is to be no defamation or arguments in regards to a decision made by the BellyBelly team or you may be dealt with a warning. If you have any issues with a decision, we have made it very clear in each forum who to contact for any problems and you can always contact myself. The Forums are not a place to complain about decisions made or about others, so please be respectful and contact the appropriate moderators for that forum.

So Sal, if someone wants a buddies group for babies with red hair, we should accomodate for that as well. Just because the members want it? There are only so many things that BellyBelly can accomodate. And yes I do realise that you are financial members of BellyBelly, and of course I appreciate that. As a market place member, I am an advertiser with BellyBelly and have my own financial input into it.

[Sal]

I've said my piece and won't say any more on the topic.

...back to the lovely preggies...

Justine, EDD!!! I'm so excited for you, hope you are holding your little princess in your arms or are in labour (gentle labour )

Chris, meant to say those BT results are wonderful

[Melbo]

At no point did I question your decision or continue the debate about the forum request being turned down. I merely stated, when it was raised again, that I believed the issue had been put to bed which is why I suggested the idea of those of us who wanted to having a place to meet up in cyberspace. There was no intent to draw members away from the site or engage in any other kind of recruiting. I did not complain about your decision either. There are no "behind the scenes" machinations of any kind in an attempt to set up a new website and poach members from here.

I do not see that this is in any way a violation of BBs rules.

Okay this is my final post on this topic. I apologise again to everyone concerned as it is too early in the morning for this kind of stuff.

[BellyBelly]

To say BB would be nothing without financial members is a bit of an overstatement, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate every single financial member on BellyBelly which contributes the cost. I continually put thousands of my own dollars into it not to mention ridiculous amounts of hours of time promoting and marketing it over the last few years, in order for there to be the great traffic we have today so advertisers will invest in it. So without THAT, it would be more accurate to say BellyBelly would be nothing.

I am all for support groups, however deviating traffic from BellyBelly was the main concern here for the Moderators, as this is how BellyBelly has been attracting good advertising dollars - we have great traffic stats. Sarah was just protecting that which I think is very admirable. We all protect what we work for and put so much of our time and energy into. So if you wish to have your yahoo groups etc that is fine, however it must be organised off the board. If what was said was taken the wrong way, then this happens sometimes on the internet and real-life - but it's much harder to give direct feedback to rectify that right away. So there's no need to attack about this and as per guidelines, discuss with the moderators.

We just cannot keep adding so many forums all the time, many people are already complaing about features having to be reduced, slowed down etc and the time moderation already involves for all our Moderators is huge. No-one realises how much time and effort this involves. Yes we are more strict (hence time consuming work) than some other forums, but I believe it's important and for those who genuinely want to be a part of a supportive, respectful community will not have a problem with that - because it does prevent lots of problems. It's my choice to do things this way.

Anyone else can email me if they have any further issues, this is not the place to continue to discuss this. Moving on...

[humphrey]

Change of subject guys - lets talk about me again

Contractions nice and regular every 15 minutes last night. So called mum and did final panic pack. Washed hair, early to bed then........... nothin!!!!!!! I had a great nights sleep though - at least 6 hours. So now it's a new day - no sign of a contraction anywhere though. :mad:

At least I'm refreshed and ready for another day of annoying BH's. I was 2cm dilated at my OB yesterday so at least I'm on my way. Bring it on!

[shell_l_d]

So I assume Kelly (BB owner) has read all these posts & has agreed with the decision to not provide a Babies after LTTTC, which is what prompted the need for us to seek another avenue for 'our baby' discussions & to generally keep in touch, I too am a lifetime member. Sorry if I've affended anyone too, (not that I've taken offence to what others have said too). Moving on...

Justine, oh Justine, where are you, hopefully like Sal said, holding ur lil bundle of love.

Edited to add... oh there u are Justine, we'll lets hope full labour happens today for u, glad u got some rest, u'll need it.

[{sarah}]

Yep Shell, just so you know, Kelly is aware of all forum decisions before they are made known to the members.

[Shezabelle]

Wow Justine getting so close!!! I will be keeping my eye on the forum all day!!!

Yeah on the HB BT and scan Chris!!

I am counting down to my morph scan 5 more sleeps!!

Love to all!!

[BellyBelly]

You are all welcome to email me and tell me why the General Baby Buddies is not suitable for your needs if you would like me to consider this further. I am not an unreasonable person. info@bellybelly.com.au - door is ALWAYS open, always has been...

For some reason, all complaints get posted on the forums and no-one takes the time out to contact me directly and ask nicely for something or to re-consider because xxx reason... instead, I often get the brunt of angry posts (and occasionally emails) which baffles me, when I do try so hard to accomodate everyone and I have provided such a site - is this what I deserve for doing so? I don't think I deserve it. Can you not take five minutes of your time to discuss things with me in private on a level, respectful medium? I'm not asking for much, just to be treated respectfully as you wish to also.

I will consider any objections to decisions or requests for things that you feel you need and want. I am human too, a may not be experienced in LTTTC but I am a mother, wife etc and I have been through some pretty ****ty things in my life that I never thought I would see an end to also. Sure it's not conception related, but people still hit depths of dispair in other aspects of their life which means just as much to them, sometimes worse - we are all dfferent but we are all human. I think what helped me was to realise that everyone has their 'disaster' and focusing on that creates more of that - many past icons and wise people say that. So if we can all be supportive and approach everything with a positive and open mind you can get more of what you need... be it the support you want in the General Baby Discussion. I think it's great to be able to expand our networks and support outside of the same mindframe that we are comfortable in.

It's not great for me to see such carry on and complaint when not one of you has attempted to contact myself, let alone any moderators to discuss this further, especially coming from this same group which has had the very same and related issues in the past, getting upset with requests not being accommodated, and as a result an uproar in the posts. In future I am just going to have to delete them to prevent this happening again, as I know you are all aware of this having happened before. That's all from me.