just a quick one, will write more tommorow.
Scan went awesome, healthy bub with heartbeat of 170 something. We even saw the little one moving & twitching...very relieved....thanks for all your thoughts. So i am 9 weeks tomorrow!!!YAY!!
Sparkles - awesome!! Good relish in your delight of the magic of this bub!
Maggie335 - welcome. Good to hear you're sick and 6 weeks. It's a hard road this one, as you know. You managed it twice before, you have the skills to manage this pg and to flourish! But here is the place you can come and share your fears, cause people who haven't been there, just don't ( and to be fair to them, they can't) understand.
TinaR - it's ironic that one of the most devastating things for me following Sophie's birth, was that I felt "phantom" flutters for ages. The phantoms robbed me of the joy I thought I had at the memories of the twins and then Sophie, fluttering and moving around. Now I doubt whether I will actually know and have confidence in any flutters and kicks until they become knockouts in this pg. Now I doubt whether in fact the feelings I had were bubsies, or just my whacked out digestive system. It's so sad to have that doubt, now, for both Nicholas and Sophie's pg and also this pg. I can understand why you get anxious.
AFM - well today was my darling Amelia's first anniversary. 23 Feb 2009; 14:28; 455grams; 27 cms; 21 weeks on the cusp of 22 weeks gest, our brown haired girl. I can't and don't think of it as her birthday. That just doesn't work for me.
Today, wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. I was more affected leading up to today than on today. DH took the day off work and I am not working( one week as of today!), so we slept in and snuggled ( no BD for me, way too scared) and then went for brunch and then a walk in the park and along the river. In the arvo we snuggled again, looked through our photos, shared some precious memories and listened to the songs we had played for the funeral service. In the end as sad as I am, the most significant memory for me today is just how much our precious girl was loved and how much she gave to us in those fleeting joyous but heartbreaking moments. I am so blessed to have been given such a precious gift. So today? DH and I honoured our baby girl by living, and remembering her. I had day reams of doing something more symbolic, but in the end, for me, it felt contrived.
Welcome to any newbies..you'll find great suppoprt here!
Dory - Sounds like you had a beautiful day, just right for you and DH which is exactly what you needed!
So, i will try to keep up a bit more now, have been so stressed and trying not to dwell on BB too much, but i am going to try and relax a bit more now and be positive!! xx
Sparkles so glad your scan went well, isnt is just a relief. I also had another scan yesterday just to put my mind at ease and everything was just perfect. Hope you can start to relax a bit more now and start to enjoy Dory im glad you and DH had a lovely day yesterday for your beautiful girls 1st anniversary.
Welcome maggie and congratulations on your pregnancy. Youve come to the right place for all the support you need and just to vent your fears as we all know exactly what your feeling and hopefully we ca help you to get through it relatively stress free (never going to be completely stress free though unfortunately) Tina yep i seen your photos on facebook and you dont look big at all, looks so cute. Good luck with your 'retirement pad' it sounds awesome
Congratulations littleones on the birth of hayley michelle, hopefully the BF starts to get easier for you both
AFM requested another scan yesterday at my docs appt to put my mind at ease and it was so awesome. Bub was bouncing around like crazy. Im thinking of getting a 3D ultrasound done but dont know if there are any in my area. If anyone knows where camperdown, victoria is do you know if there is anywhere near me that does it. Or even in Geelong??
Take care all
sorry i've beein mia since my last post, i needed some family time after my rant.
Just wanted to say a quick thank you for all your support, it's lovely knowing we can come on here and be completely honestly, i was a little worried how it was be taken, which is why i haven't been on here in a while, bit scared you might all think i was this horrible woman....
Anyway first scan tomorrow, yay, very excited.....
HPL - this is the safe place know that whatever you say it's safe to be totally honest and speak your feelings, if you can't do it anonymously in here, where can you do it? Enjoy your first scan tomorrow! Drink in the excitement and enjoy every second of it!
Thanks for the lovely replies and best wishes for my pregnancy.
I haven't posted on here since the other day as I am convinced this one is going the same way as the others. I started light bleeding on Monday (minimal) and more yesterday. I went to the Dr yesterday who put me on bed rest for a few days and sent me for blood tests but now I have some bright red spotting/bleeding. I have no pain and my boobs are no longer sore. Still waiting for my blood results, but it felt right from the beginning.... I was extremely moody, fatigued, boobs quite sore. Life is not fair. I dont know If I can go through it again.... this will be my 4th pregnancy and 4th m/c.
Sorry for no personal replies but I'm just not up to it.
We saw our baby this afternoon!! Prefect, just perfect which is music to ours ears... I feel so more at ease having seen our baby... Going by LMP I'm 10wks2days but scan says 9wks4days... I have usually a 30day cycle so it's right on cue!!
Who care ladies, my baby will be due on the 26th Sept, I couldn't be happier...
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. Its so nice to know there are people you can 'talk' to who truely understand. I have some wonderful friends who have all been a great support, but none have been truogh anything similar, so most of the time they just don't 'get it'.
HPL - that is great news! Nearly at the magical 12 week mark. Im so thrilled everything is going as it should
Loopielouie - I know its hard but try to not get too disheartened until you know for sure. I bled bright red blood VERY heavily through the first 4 months or so of both my successful pregnancies. It really did my head in, so I totally understand why you are so worried. Sending you big hugs and hope you get some good news from those blood tests.
Sparkles - glad all is going well for you too!
Dory - I don't know all the details but reading through your posts, it sounds like you have been through so much. Im glad you and DH found a way to remember your beautiful girl. Sending you lots of hugs.
AFM- i have been on tender hooks waiting for the 'complications' to develop. I've never had a 'normal' pregnancy and have found it a little strange that we managed to get beyond the 6 week mark without problems. Here I am worrying about the fact I have nothing to worry about Anyway earlier in the week I developed really bad cramps which had me doubled up on the kitchen floor. They felt too high to be baby related, so I tried very hard to ignore them. Then over the next 2 days my sickness was not too bad and I woke up yest feeling fantastic. Rang my ob. in tears and he managed to organise a scan for the early arvo. Went in with DH expecting the worst, but there it was - our tiny bub with a tiny heart beating away!!! I just could not stop crying. So for now I am a little more relaxted to know that there is actually a baby there and that so far, we seem okay. Still nervous, but relieved for the moment. I am now 6 weeks and 5 days and hoping to God things continue on.
Maggie 355 - thankyou. I don't wnat to seem arrogant, but I have been through a lot. So often I almost minimise it. Just quickly here's my history. I suppose I could put it in my signature but for some reason I can't do that. July 08 m/c 8 weeks blighted ovum, 23 Feb 2009 birth of Amelia, extremely premature at 21 weeks gest and too frail to survive, 28 July 2009, birth of Nicholas at 14 weeks gest, our wee man and 30 August 2009 birth of Sophie at 19 weeks gest, too young to survive. Nicholas and Sophie were twins. Each of my little ones was born alive. It seems I go into premature labour spontaneously. The birth of Amelia, as heartbreaking as it was, was a joyful and defining moment of my life. I am truly blessed to have been given the gift of a beautiful daughter, and son and daughter. I have held each of my babies and loved them completely. I never expected that, especially not in such heartbreaking circumstances.
I so totally understand about being on tenterhooks, and just waiting for the complications. I have already had a few, and its hard, but somehow, I am able to find some peace with the pg. But every complication renews the fear. I suppose we all find our own ways to cope. Glad you got to see your little one! It's pretty awesome huh? My tip? Try not to worry to much ( I know mission impossible!) and if you can each day be thankful for the miracle that you have right now, right at this moment. For me I find it helps put the fear to the back of my mind and not the front of all of the time. Every pg is different?
HPL - we are so close in dates it's amazing. Glad you got to see bubs, it is just the coolest. Go and revel in the miracle.
Hi to everyone else. I am not feeling very talkative. Hope you are all going ok. Sticky vibes.
Dory..... Im really not quite sure what to say. 'Sorry' just seems so terribly inadequate. I read your response a couple of days ago and have been pondering you all weekend. What I find the most amazing is how positive you are. When I read back through the posts you have made and the advice you have given others you are still able to appreciate the little things and look on the bight side. After going through so much, I think you cetainly are an amzing person. I know that from now on, in my moments of doubt, I will definately be thinking of you and your postive outlook.
I've no idea if you are a religious person, but Im sending out lots of prayers/happy thoughts that this time your baby will be strong and healthy enough to survive.
Thanks for sharing your story with me. Its sounds as though you have really made peace with what has happened to your beautiful babies, for which Im glad. I really hope things go well for you this time and Im sending you lots of love and hugs.
I am back from my holidays!! Holidays were great - just visited some friends and had a nice break, but now it's back to reality and work
Sorry, not too many persies, because there is just TOO much to catch up on, but I did read all the posts.
Yay for all to good news,
hugs for all the not so good,
and welcome to the new ladies
Congrats LittleOnes!!
AFM - well, I had a couple of scares while I was away - more like over-reaction, but at the time, I found it quite scary.
I had a day where the MS was not too bad, I thought it was finishing up, so I actually ate some real food, and then that night I woke to horrible cramps. Of course I thought the worst, until about half an hour later I had the runs. And of course I thought the even worse, that I had given my bub foodpoisining, and well, you can imagine the rest. It took me two days of morning sickness to realise that all was not doom and gloom.
But then, two days after that I had a spot - not even as much as that started with m/c, but just a spot. so of course all the doubts from the couple of days before came back, and then when I thought my MS was easing I really was convinced of the worst. Fortunately the friend I was staying with was a nurse, so she was very reassuring, and also quite tolerant and understanding of my paranoia. And thankfully MS returned with a vengence, and STILL hasn't left yet. Yesterday (the day after we drove home) I spent the entire day on the lounge, struggling to even keep water down. I have learnt that already, this bub gets motion sickness - whenever I have a long drive or a scan, I can guarantee that the next day I will be SUPER-ILL! (as in not just your regular morning sickness).
I have my NT scan on Sat, so am just hanging out till then, because even despite my wonderful friend's reassurance, I am still convinced of the worst! (oh, and yes, still checking the loo paper!)
Hey ladies, sorry i havent been around lately. Nausea has set in and i havent felt like doing the housework let alone post on the forum. Hope your all well xox
Hope everyone is well!!
Well, I am 10 weeks today!!! Just booked in for my 12 weeks ultrasound on 17th march at the Fetal Medicine Unit. Now i am scared, it was easy not to think about when i didn't have a date set!! I am soo scared this baby will have anencephaly again and just can't stop thinking about it since i booked the appoinment this morning!! These next 2 weeks cannot go quick enough...... as then i will know how everything is going. Anyway, apart from that pretty much nausea all day, every day and even during the night (if i wake up!), was having headaches last week which seemd to have settled this week but otheriwse just cruising along waiting for my u/s.
Thinking of you all.
Maggie - thankyou, for your kinds words and prayers. You made me change the way I think too. I finally mustered the courage to change my signature and include my angels. So thankyou.
Milly 5- oh sweetie. Such a hard road. Good luck for Saturday - only 2 sleeps to go. Sorry you had food poisioning or a gastro bug.
Sparkles- good work you brave thing on booking the appointment. It takes a lot of courage to actually pick up the phone huh?. It's only 2 weeks - just like being in the 2WW!!! The time will fly, honest. Will be thinking of you and hopefully you're not going too much around the twist!
Bonham - poor thing. Are you able to get any relief? Are you keeping anything down? Have you got some gastrolyte or gatorade handy? I hope you feel like you can cope soon. How are along are you now?
AFM - 11 weeks and 1 day. Amazingly cool. M/S seems to have mostly eased for me. Still comes and goes, but usually only once a day and it's much better than the all day nausea I had. I was so engrossed in BB that I delayed eating. Instead of intense just about to vomit nausea I just have some pretty bad shakes. The shakes will pass as the food digests. How cool is that? Almost like a breakthrough! The next question is whether I will be able to resist having some icecream, as I am still craving a sugar hit after my blood sugar crashed. Thing is on so many levels a sugar hit so soo bad, but OMG I love icecream.
dory: thanks for the ideas, but its not throwing up thats making me feel crap it's just having the nausea stay around all day, i'm still eating/drinking as normal as can me. I'm 9weeks 4 days today.
Enjoy your first scan tomorrow! Drink in the excitement and enjoy every second of it!
Anyway earlier in the week I developed really bad cramps which had me doubled up on the kitchen floor. They felt too high to be baby related, so I tried very hard to ignore them. Then over the next 2 days my sickness was not too bad and I woke up yest feeling fantastic. Rang my ob. in tears and he managed to organise a scan for the early arvo. Went in with DH expecting the worst, but there it was - our tiny bub with a tiny heart beating away!!! 
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