Sparkles - awesome!! Good relish in your delight of the magic of this bub!
Maggie335 - welcome. Good to hear you're sick and 6 weeks. It's a hard road this one, as you know. You managed it twice before, you have the skills to manage this pg and to flourish! But here is the place you can come and share your fears, cause people who haven't been there, just don't ( and to be fair to them, they can't) understand.
TinaR - it's ironic that one of the most devastating things for me following Sophie's birth, was that I felt "phantom" flutters for ages. The phantoms robbed me of the joy I thought I had at the memories of the twins and then Sophie, fluttering and moving around. Now I doubt whether I will actually know and have confidence in any flutters and kicks until they become knockouts in this pg. Now I doubt whether in fact the feelings I had were bubsies, or just my whacked out digestive system. It's so sad to have that doubt, now, for both Nicholas and Sophie's pg and also this pg. I can understand why you get anxious.
AFM - well today was my darling Amelia's first anniversary. 23 Feb 2009; 14:28; 455grams; 27 cms; 21 weeks on the cusp of 22 weeks gest, our brown haired girl. I can't and don't think of it as her birthday. That just doesn't work for me.
Today, wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. I was more affected leading up to today than on today. DH took the day off work and I am not working( one week as of today!), so we slept in and snuggled ( no BD for me, way too scared) and then went for brunch and then a walk in the park and along the river. In the arvo we snuggled again, looked through our photos, shared some precious memories and listened to the songs we had played for the funeral service. In the end as sad as I am, the most significant memory for me today is just how much our precious girl was loved and how much she gave to us in those fleeting joyous but heartbreaking moments. I am so blessed to have been given such a precious gift. So today? DH and I honoured our baby girl by living, and remembering her. I had day reams of doing something more symbolic, but in the end, for me, it felt contrived.
Welcome to any newbies..you'll find great suppoprt here!
Dory - Sounds like you had a beautiful day, just right for you and DH which is exactly what you needed!
So, i will try to keep up a bit more now, have been so stressed and trying not to dwell on BB too much, but i am going to try and relax a bit more now and be positive!! xx
Sparkles so glad your scan went well, isnt is just a relief. I also had another scan yesterday just to put my mind at ease and everything was just perfect. Hope you can start to relax a bit more now and start to enjoy Dory im glad you and DH had a lovely day yesterday for your beautiful girls 1st anniversary.
Welcome maggie and congratulations on your pregnancy. Youve come to the right place for all the support you need and just to vent your fears as we all know exactly what your feeling and hopefully we ca help you to get through it relatively stress free (never going to be completely stress free though unfortunately) Tina yep i seen your photos on facebook and you dont look big at all, looks so cute. Good luck with your 'retirement pad' it sounds awesome
Congratulations littleones on the birth of hayley michelle, hopefully the BF starts to get easier for you both
AFM requested another scan yesterday at my docs appt to put my mind at ease and it was so awesome. Bub was bouncing around like crazy. Im thinking of getting a 3D ultrasound done but dont know if there are any in my area. If anyone knows where camperdown, victoria is do you know if there is anywhere near me that does it. Or even in Geelong??
Take care all
sorry i've beein mia since my last post, i needed some family time after my rant.
Just wanted to say a quick thank you for all your support, it's lovely knowing we can come on here and be completely honestly, i was a little worried how it was be taken, which is why i haven't been on here in a while, bit scared you might all think i was this horrible woman....
Anyway first scan tomorrow, yay, very excited.....
HPL - this is the safe place know that whatever you say it's safe to be totally honest and speak your feelings, if you can't do it anonymously in here, where can you do it? Enjoy your first scan tomorrow! Drink in the excitement and enjoy every second of it!
Maggie 355 - thankyou. I don't wnat to seem arrogant, but I have been through a lot. So often I almost minimise it. Just quickly here's my history. I suppose I could put it in my signature but for some reason I can't do that. July 08 m/c 8 weeks blighted ovum, 23 Feb 2009 birth of Amelia, extremely premature at 21 weeks gest and too frail to survive, 28 July 2009, birth of Nicholas at 14 weeks gest, our wee man and 30 August 2009 birth of Sophie at 19 weeks gest, too young to survive. Nicholas and Sophie were twins. Each of my little ones was born alive. It seems I go into premature labour spontaneously. The birth of Amelia, as heartbreaking as it was, was a joyful and defining moment of my life. I am truly blessed to have been given the gift of a beautiful daughter, and son and daughter. I have held each of my babies and loved them completely. I never expected that, especially not in such heartbreaking circumstances.
I so totally understand about being on tenterhooks, and just waiting for the complications. I have already had a few, and its hard, but somehow, I am able to find some peace with the pg. But every complication renews the fear. I suppose we all find our own ways to cope. Glad you got to see your little one! It's pretty awesome huh? My tip? Try not to worry to much ( I know mission impossible!) and if you can each day be thankful for the miracle that you have right now, right at this moment. For me I find it helps put the fear to the back of my mind and not the front of all of the time. Every pg is different?
HPL - we are so close in dates it's amazing. Glad you got to see bubs, it is just the coolest. Go and revel in the miracle.
Hi to everyone else. I am not feeling very talkative. Hope you are all going ok. Sticky vibes.
Dory..... Im really not quite sure what to say. 'Sorry' just seems so terribly inadequate. I read your response a couple of days ago and have been pondering you all weekend. What I find the most amazing is how positive you are. When I read back through the posts you have made and the advice you have given others you are still able to appreciate the little things and look on the bight side. After going through so much, I think you cetainly are an amzing person. I know that from now on, in my moments of doubt, I will definately be thinking of you and your postive outlook.
I've no idea if you are a religious person, but Im sending out lots of prayers/happy thoughts that this time your baby will be strong and healthy enough to survive.
Thanks for sharing your story with me. Its sounds as though you have really made peace with what has happened to your beautiful babies, for which Im glad. I really hope things go well for you this time and Im sending you lots of love and hugs.
Maggie - thankyou, for your kinds words and prayers. You made me change the way I think too. I finally mustered the courage to change my signature and include my angels. So thankyou.
Milly 5- oh sweetie. Such a hard road. Good luck for Saturday - only 2 sleeps to go. Sorry you had food poisioning or a gastro bug.
Sparkles- good work you brave thing on booking the appointment. It takes a lot of courage to actually pick up the phone huh?. It's only 2 weeks - just like being in the 2WW!!! The time will fly, honest. Will be thinking of you and hopefully you're not going too much around the twist!
Bonham - poor thing. Are you able to get any relief? Are you keeping anything down? Have you got some gastrolyte or gatorade handy? I hope you feel like you can cope soon. How are along are you now?
AFM - 11 weeks and 1 day. Amazingly cool. M/S seems to have mostly eased for me. Still comes and goes, but usually only once a day and it's much better than the all day nausea I had. I was so engrossed in BB that I delayed eating. Instead of intense just about to vomit nausea I just have some pretty bad shakes. The shakes will pass as the food digests. How cool is that? Almost like a breakthrough! The next question is whether I will be able to resist having some icecream, as I am still craving a sugar hit after my blood sugar crashed. Thing is on so many levels a sugar hit so soo bad, but OMG I love icecream.
dory: thanks for the ideas, but its not throwing up thats making me feel crap it's just having the nausea stay around all day, i'm still eating/drinking as normal as can me. I'm 9weeks 4 days today.
hi all. I hope you're well. I think I'm updated on the posts, but may have missed a page.
dory - it sounds like stopping work has been a huge benefit for you. your stories of loss are heartbreaking, but the courage and dignity to try agan is awe inspiring
sparkle - I understand the stress leading up to the scan. good luck with it. we had the dr turn the screen off so we couldn't see anything until he checked bub was alive. the relief lasted about 2 weeks before other fears reared their head again.
milly - i still check the TP too I don't think the fear ever stops, it's how we manage it that counts.
hope everyone else is well
not much going on here. still tired every afternoon. yesterday I could feel the bump (small and quite low), today i can't but my boobs seem bigger, so I'm taking that as a good sign. I'm 15wks tomorrow. I've become quite stressed reading a few loss stories recently, so I need to work out a way to manage that. I'm thinking of counselling or working with a doula or someone. We've also ordered a blood pressure monitor so I can keep an eye on my anxiety levels. And we're off to the baby show on the weekend to do some research and hopefully get some bargains
Will try to keep up, but only have time to come during work hours and I really need to get some work done - haven't done much today
Can certainly identify with all the sickness, and although I wouldn't wish it on anyone, its so nice to know I'm not alone. So easy to feel that way when you're layed on the bathroom floor at all hours of the day and night. I am finding the nausea so difficult - I feel really bad complaining about it as i so desperately want my baby, plus I know that if it wasn't there i would be so scared about what was wrong. Just can't win! Its so awful though!! I have consumed so much ginger recently. the taste alone now makes me want to vomit! Argh....
Miss K - Im so sorry about your loss. My misscarriage was much earlier than yours (10 weeks) and I think we waited about 2 months before trying again. At the time we recieved lots of advice to wait 3 months, but I read recently that's not neccesary. Before worrying too much about that, I would get yourself emotionally ready first... its such a long journey. Good luck.
For everyone else, Im sending you lots of happy thoughts. Hope all the impending scans go well and the sickness is the perfect balance of just enough to stop you worrying, but not so much to be ghastly unpleasant. Sending of lots of hugs.
I am back from my holidays!! Holidays were great - just visited some friends and had a nice break, but now it's back to reality and work
Sorry, not too many persies, because there is just TOO much to catch up on, but I did read all the posts.
Yay for all to good news,
hugs for all the not so good,
and welcome to the new ladies
Congrats LittleOnes!!
AFM - well, I had a couple of scares while I was away - more like over-reaction, but at the time, I found it quite scary.
I had a day where the MS was not too bad, I thought it was finishing up, so I actually ate some real food, and then that night I woke to horrible cramps. Of course I thought the worst, until about half an hour later I had the runs. And of course I thought the even worse, that I had given my bub foodpoisining, and well, you can imagine the rest. It took me two days of morning sickness to realise that all was not doom and gloom.
But then, two days after that I had a spot - not even as much as that started with m/c, but just a spot. so of course all the doubts from the couple of days before came back, and then when I thought my MS was easing I really was convinced of the worst. Fortunately the friend I was staying with was a nurse, so she was very reassuring, and also quite tolerant and understanding of my paranoia. And thankfully MS returned with a vengence, and STILL hasn't left yet. Yesterday (the day after we drove home) I spent the entire day on the lounge, struggling to even keep water down. I have learnt that already, this bub gets motion sickness - whenever I have a long drive or a scan, I can guarantee that the next day I will be SUPER-ILL! (as in not just your regular morning sickness).
I have my NT scan on Sat, so am just hanging out till then, because even despite my wonderful friend's reassurance, I am still convinced of the worst! (oh, and yes, still checking the loo paper!)
Enjoy your first scan tomorrow! Drink in the excitement and enjoy every second of it!
I don't think the fear ever stops, it's how we manage it that counts.
Sending of lots of hugs.
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