HPL - you are true to your name. Very positive post. I am very glad that you've got your visit booked in and have had some reassuring news from them about being able to scan more frequently. A lot of the reading I have done said that TLC and offering scans for reassurance from caregivers is one of the best things they can offer women who have suffered loss.
I agree, it can get you down sometimes reading posts where people are struggling, and sometimes I wonder whether being glum has a self perpetuating effect? I have been thinking about that a lot lately and wondering whether I also need to balance the experiences I read about here in BB with experiences where people haven't experienced loss and bereavenment, to give me something else to think about and hope for.
But then I remind myself that in these forums, are some of the only places that BB'ers will express their most intimate thoughts and fears. Some are able to share their fears and anxiety' with others generally, but for some, this place is safe and supportive or its maybe even the place where they experiement articulating their thoughts.
Honestly, if I told people half the stuff that went on inside my head, they would grow tired of listening and they would unduly worry about me. Fortunately the cats are very good listeners! But in here, I can express how I feel and am supported by people who have walked diferent paths but know the journey of grief and bereavement all too well.
For me, most of the time, I am strict with myself and spend time each day being thankful for the blessing of this pregnancy this day. I am the only one who has the "power" to make the most of today. The only things I can control is how I perceive things. No one else can do it for me and I can't wait around for a magic date, because there are none for me. I can't worry too much about what tomorrow might bring, or what experiences I have in the past. This pregnancy, is a new pregnancy and this day is a new day. It sounds trite and simplistic I know, but it works for me. I still have days I struggle and am scared out of my wits. But I have so much to be thankful for.
Emma - sorry to hear you are doing it so tough with your anxieties. We each have to find our own way through them, and often it ain't perfect. Congrats on your pregnancy too and reaching so far along! And good news to ehar your baby girl is a kicker. It must be very reassuring. Welcome too - it will be good to hear from you. How are those autumn colours in Christchurch? There are some really amazing ads on the telly over here at the moment for NZ, and there was one recently which showed autumn colours. Just stunning.
Maggie, Tashybabe, Sparkes, Elise, MissK, how are you doing?
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