thank you mummyof4 i felt like i am was going crazy. I dont cramp or anythng until night time. And yes my dr thinks that i am over reacting becosue of my m/c.
Angel - sweetie - that people tell you stress will cause a miscarriage is just cruel. Maybe people who don't understand tell you things like this so that your behaviour will be more what they think it should be... whatever that is.... When people say things like that, it's about them and not you.
There are lots of different "old wives tales" out there. I don't for one minute believe that being anxious about a pregnancy is even a possible cause for miscarriage. Extreme sudden emotional duress? Maybe... I was talking to my Ob about it. He said that women who are pregnant after rape have a high rate of healthy births and that that pregnancy has one of the highest stress levels imaginable. We were talking about it after I read on a web site of a allied health professional specalising in infertility and pregnancy that "stress causes pregnancy and women who didn't listen to the practitioners advice were causing their own miscarriages". To be honest, I have never seen my obstetrician angry and he was really angry and upset by the comment. He's not just worked in white middle class Australia or in affluent countries, so he does have some experience about the impact of different stressors on pregnancy. There are lots of women who haven't experienced a miscarriage or loss who are extremely anxious in pregnancy.
Hmm.... did your Dr say that or is it an assumption you've made? I think at times people think I am over anxious too, but ultimately I am the one that has to be satisifed with the steps I take and answers I get, not anyone else. They don't walk in my shoes.... Now is a time that you need reassurance and support not for someone to be condescending. If your Dr can't provide you with the support you need think about changing.... it's a long journey and you need all the reassurance you can get, including from your Dr.
So anyway, the short of it is, don't worry that worry will cause a miscarriage and blow your boy a raspberry next time he says so.
Mo4 - it seem like yesterday that you were going through the horror of nightly bleeding and that its been almost 7 weeks since you last had to see it! It is sooooo good that you are 16 weeks now and have been so well....
Possum - you are welcome. Now you have me waiting to see your ticker...... can't wait. Is that a sneaky way of getting me to check BB over the weekend which I don't normally do? of course it's all about me .... LOL.
Hoping - hang in there chicky. Sorry that the u/s today didn't give you all the answers you'd hoped for but you did get some good news! All is looking good. Try to make the most of that wonderful news .... and then ride the rollercoaster til your next scan.
Teagm - DH & I told our parents first, as soon as we knew between 3-4 weeks. We then told family and friends who had been supportive. I hadn't planned on telling more than that, but my circumstances changed quickly with a scare at 6 weeks 6 days and time off work and then I finished work at 7/8 weeks, so it was taken out of my hands in a way, as I told people why I had time off work and why I wouldn't be coming back and then why I suddenly dropped off the social radar. Just do what you think is right for you. You have no obligation to tell anyone. If there are people you want to know but don't really want to tell yourself, enlist the help of a family member or friend to do that for you.
It's natural to want to shut people out, it's a way of protecting yourself, but people will want to share this journey with you and help you through, they do love you, you just have to give them the chance. I am trying to give more people the chance at the moment, by sharing just how hard this journey is and not letting them marginalise me, just because I am not around as much as I used to be.
Don't feel guilty about "not having faith" in this pregnancy either - that's pretty much normal. Different people find different ways to cope. If that's yours so be it. My friends daughter didn't acknoweldge her most recent pregnancy at all - she wouldn't look at the scans, wouldn't engage with the Ob, her DH had to do it, she just had a deep belief the pregnancy would not last and she would be grieving again. She just couldn't cope any other way. She's now got a beautiful little baby, whom she loves dearly. She might feel guilty at times, but that was the only way she could get through. In the end I hope for you that's not the way you find to cope, because it makes me sad for you, but this is a time to focus on what you need, not what others need or want for you. You'll get there.
Anyway, sorry I seem to have been on the soapbox today! Hope you all have a good weekend and sending you my love.
Just wanted to comment on Teagm : when we first found out we were pg again we were terrified of losing her we didn't end up telling our parents until we were 8wks, then our brothers and sisters at 10weeks. We periodically told close friends from 14 - 16weeks... But it really depends on how you and your parents feel and when you want to tell people. Our friends and family were really supportive and weren't offended that we held off telling them until much later, our first pg we told everyone and anyone who would listen that we were expecting, so this time round we wanted to savour the moment for ourselves just in case anything did happen...
Reading the posts my heart goes out to you ladies who have been given not so great news of late.......
A huge congrats to all the new mummies....
AFM: Starting to feel the pressures of full time work and part time study as I get bigger and further along, was really hoping I could stick it out until Aug with full-time work, fingers crossed I can.. Physically bubs and I are good, but I know I need to slow down, I'm just not the type of person who knows how to, that's my biggest problem.... Seems that bubs is measuring anywhere between 27 - 29wks these days - wish they could give me a better idea of when she's due, I've had so many different dates I can't keep up, so we're just saying she'll be born in Sept sometime.... its frustrating coz i think if I finish work on the 6th Sept, she could be born that weekend which doesnt leave me much time to relax before the birth, but if i do stop then and bubs doesnt come until the 25th or something I just know I will go insane waiting for her to be born.... GGGRRRRR frustrating.....
I'll try and post more often time just seems to get away from me, I read posts all the time and then half reply but have to go off and cook dinner or shower then forget and by then my DH has usually closed the computer down lol...
oh my goodness my beauties for some reason I have not been receieving the emails to prompt me here I have 2.5 pages to catch up on...persies to come love and happiness and stacks of sticky vibes and snuggly bubbys all round xxxxxxx
Tegam - we didn't really tell people officially until 16 weeks. We had told MIL & FIL at about 9weeks as they had come to help us with some heavy work - which of course I didn't do, so we told them why, but also that we didn't really want to tell people yet, which they were quite understanding.
I was vommiting quite a bit at work, so I think some people may have guessed, but I didn't tell them until about 16 weeks. And only then becasue I was showing!
I didn't officially tell my boss until about two weeks ago, though I had unofficially told her at 16 weeks because other people knew.
It's hard, because on one hand you do want to tell - even if only for the support should something go wrong, but on the other hand, I didn't want to tell, because I didn't want to talk about it incase I jinxed it.
It took me a while to get my head around that I was pg.
Then I got that I was pg, but couldn't quite get that there was a baby in there, IYKWIM (I know, sounds silly).
Then it was there is a baby in there, but that doesn't mean one will come out.....
It's really only now, this last couple of weeks, probably the last week or two, that I really feel like yes there is a baby in there, and yes there is a happy end to come! And now, I have an awful lot of nesting to catch up on!
I just wanted to send hugs - to all of you - and say yes it is hard to feel excited in the beginning. But I don't feel guilty for not being excited, just disappointed that there is a lot of happiness that I missed out on that I needn't have.
Angelfish - it is hard for partners who - I must say, while they have their own grief experience, they just don't get it - you can't blame yourself for what happened, so it is wrong to think that you caused it in anyway. Tell your b/f that that is not helpful!
Possummagic - I don't know anything about the progesterone, but am keeping everything crossed for you and hoping that your acorn sticks.
Dory - you didn't tell us about your hair??
HPL - you sound like me LOL. I am due Sept 10 and am working up to end August (I don't want to sit around waiting too long, but also, don't want Spud to arrive on my first day home! I have told Spud that while I am very anxious to meet him/her, I don't want to see him/her before September, so not until at least 1/9. (Oh and definately out by the 17th!) LOL. I am told that they can hear at this stage.... just not sure if they have a good grasp of language and time!!
And, my DH does that with the computer too!!!
Dory: no my partner told me that while he was yelling at me he is very uncompationate he does not understand that i am really tired right now and can't keep up with cleaning up after him and when his kids come to see him every three weeks he has been calling lazy.
My Dr is the one that has said that emotional stress will not cause a m/c that its the physcial stress is what i have to worry about due to me having a heart problem i have to worry about my heart rate getting to high or my blood suger getting to high. This baby is what i am worry about not my partner right now if i have to do this alone i will. His kids are bad last time i was pg and they found out his daughter who is 10 and wieghs 109 lbs jump on my lap so i have to worry about them. But enough of me rambling
good luck to everyone who has a scan coming up or a dr appt.
to everyone else you all are in my thoughts and prayers
I have such good news, lol. Had my scan yesterday and Tiger is just perfect, was measuring smack bang on 11 weeks and 1 day and heartrate of 165. The tech said we had an extremely healthy baby cos 'sick babies don't dance like that' LOL! Tiger was jigging around like anything, DH was talking to him to see if Tiger would move when he spoke. And it appears we may be having a little boy! The tech said he wouldn't count on it though, cos girl bits can be enlarged to look like boy bits, but when he looked at Tiger's feet, Tiger did a full on leg spread and showed off his bits, and from side on there definitely appeared to be a little bit of a willy. I feel so ridiculously incredibly relieved, keep looking at the pics, it reminds me of getting the BFP and I kept looking at the stick, like the baby lived in the stick and not in my belly! MS is starting to leave the building too, I actually wanted food today, just a cheese and tomato toastie, but I ate it and then didn't feel sick. Slowly starting to sink in that I'm gonna be bringing this baby home.
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