Angel - sweetie - that people tell you stress will cause a miscarriage is just cruel. Maybe people who don't understand tell you things like this so that your behaviour will be more what they think it should be... whatever that is.... When people say things like that, it's about them and not you.

There are lots of different "old wives tales" out there. I don't for one minute believe that being anxious about a pregnancy is even a possible cause for miscarriage. Extreme sudden emotional duress? Maybe... I was talking to my Ob about it. He said that women who are pregnant after rape have a high rate of healthy births and that that pregnancy has one of the highest stress levels imaginable. We were talking about it after I read on a web site of a allied health professional specalising in infertility and pregnancy that "stress causes pregnancy and women who didn't listen to the practitioners advice were causing their own miscarriages". To be honest, I have never seen my obstetrician angry and he was really angry and upset by the comment. He's not just worked in white middle class Australia or in affluent countries, so he does have some experience about the impact of different stressors on pregnancy. There are lots of women who haven't experienced a miscarriage or loss who are extremely anxious in pregnancy.

Hmm.... did your Dr say that or is it an assumption you've made? I think at times people think I am over anxious too, but ultimately I am the one that has to be satisifed with the steps I take and answers I get, not anyone else. They don't walk in my shoes.... Now is a time that you need reassurance and support not for someone to be condescending. If your Dr can't provide you with the support you need think about changing.... it's a long journey and you need all the reassurance you can get, including from your Dr.

So anyway, the short of it is, don't worry that worry will cause a miscarriage and blow your boy a raspberry next time he says so.

Mo4 - it seem like yesterday that you were going through the horror of nightly bleeding and that its been almost 7 weeks since you last had to see it! It is sooooo good that you are 16 weeks now and have been so well....

Possum - you are welcome. Now you have me waiting to see your ticker...... can't wait. Is that a sneaky way of getting me to check BB over the weekend which I don't normally do? of course it's all about me .... LOL.

Hoping - hang in there chicky. Sorry that the u/s today didn't give you all the answers you'd hoped for but you did get some good news! All is looking good. Try to make the most of that wonderful news .... and then ride the rollercoaster til your next scan.

Teagm - DH & I told our parents first, as soon as we knew between 3-4 weeks. We then told family and friends who had been supportive. I hadn't planned on telling more than that, but my circumstances changed quickly with a scare at 6 weeks 6 days and time off work and then I finished work at 7/8 weeks, so it was taken out of my hands in a way, as I told people why I had time off work and why I wouldn't be coming back and then why I suddenly dropped off the social radar. Just do what you think is right for you. You have no obligation to tell anyone. If there are people you want to know but don't really want to tell yourself, enlist the help of a family member or friend to do that for you.

It's natural to want to shut people out, it's a way of protecting yourself, but people will want to share this journey with you and help you through, they do love you, you just have to give them the chance. I am trying to give more people the chance at the moment, by sharing just how hard this journey is and not letting them marginalise me, just because I am not around as much as I used to be.

Don't feel guilty about "not having faith" in this pregnancy either - that's pretty much normal. Different people find different ways to cope. If that's yours so be it. My friends daughter didn't acknoweldge her most recent pregnancy at all - she wouldn't look at the scans, wouldn't engage with the Ob, her DH had to do it, she just had a deep belief the pregnancy would not last and she would be grieving again. She just couldn't cope any other way. She's now got a beautiful little baby, whom she loves dearly. She might feel guilty at times, but that was the only way she could get through. In the end I hope for you that's not the way you find to cope, because it makes me sad for you, but this is a time to focus on what you need, not what others need or want for you. You'll get there.

Anyway, sorry I seem to have been on the soapbox today! Hope you all have a good weekend and sending you my love.