Pregnancy after miscarriage or loss ~ November 2010

[Reet]

Ferrals- Im glad u know how ur little girl is positioned! I have no idea! It cld be a head butting me, a foot kicking, a hand punching or maybe even an elbow! Who knows!! Maybe in a few more weeks ill know a bit better.. or maybe after ive had a few more kids!!

Angelfish- That sux she will get her karma.. hopefully the courts can see whos the more trustworthy one.

Tegam- How are u going other then being stinking hot?? Any signs ur bubba is on its way?? Im so happy that u have managed to prolong it this long!! It sure was touch and go there for a while!

Forshelby- Oh u must feel so loved going back to ur work imagine once u have had ur baby!! All the ppl will be loving the new born cuddles!!
And thanku so much for being so lovely.. but are u sure u want to be my emotional baggage handler?! Gosh i think i will do ur head in with it all.. im doing my own in! I know we cant blame it on ourselves.. everything does happen for a reason.. BUT ITS SO HARD NOT TOO!! We so cld have easily prevented it from happening... ive just gotta realise her time was up. A friend of mine wrote me a lovely facebook msg saying she has gone to get ready to come back as our little baby.. so lovely. Ive always called my little nala girl my angel since she was born the day i had my m/c.
Anyway enough offloading for today!! Thanks forshelby xx

T-Hopes- Thanku so much once again and thanku for telling me its ok to still be crying! I feel so silly.. like i shld definitely be moving on by now..
U know what.. i feel so bad saying this.. but i have a 13 yr old silky terrier that is pretty ready to go (sorry tillie!) she is blind, deaf and cant walk up our stairs which means every half an hour im having to go and help her.. if she were to pass away now i wld be really sad but i wld know that we had given her the best life possible (and i dont mean pass away tragically like my girl did.. i definitely cldnt bare that) i just cant understand why my little girl had to go when she had so much more living to do.. even the naughty things she wld do we wld just laugh at cos she was just so cute.. god she got away with walking on our kitchen benchtops when she was trying to get to all the potato peals in the kitchen sink (little weirdo!).. SO NAUGHTY but did we get angry?! Nope! She was super spoilt. Anyway here i go again! Sorry u are all going to be so sick of me... A very big thanku for all ur understanding xx

AFM- Feeling a little better today, still teary and that bloody lump just wont leave my throat still but im slowly accepting the fact shes gone and i am so grateful that we have so many happy memories of her. I think half of it has been that i feel like i owe it to her to be sad and spend every day in mourning.. but she was such a lively little thing i know thats not what she wld want.

I am starting to get excited about our scan tomoro!! Come on 3pm. I really hope it is a perfect scan and we get some good pics or my gosh the sonographer will cop it!!

xxx

[ferrals5]

Reet-have fun at your scan tomorrow.

AFM-Found out today that the fake witness in DH court case who lied in his statement is one of my work collegues who i got him into trouble a few months ago and he got a written warning over so we dont get along so has a grudge against me and DH.
And his statement is completely different to the drunk di#khead who spat in DH face so our solicitor wants us to do some detective work and try to get some proof that they are friends or at least aquaintances so then his bullcrap statement will be thrown out as false and just a vendetta against us so now the snooping begins

[Tegam]

Oh Ferrals that sounds positive, still bloody annoying in the end if its thrown out and DH spent that long out of work and you having too when HR pregnancy! Idiots!

Reet: YAY for scan tomorrow! I know i cant believe i am 37weeks tomorrow. Last monday was the date they had set me for induction but i just said no. Now booked in for next tuesday but going to say no unless movement drops right off!
So sorry you are still up and down but i guess thats going to last a long time. I know what you mean about owing it to her to be down but then she was so happy she wouldnt want you to be sad. Just feel what you need to and dont worry about what you should be doing or feeling!

[kellbell]

Good luck tommorow and enjoy your scan - hope you get some nice chubby 3d pics
Sorry again about your puppy

Our little man was breech on the scan - he sitting up really high too my belly is really high. all the kicks are down low so thinking he must still be head up. my DD was head down the whole preg she never flipped the other way she must have been happy that way. he better not get to comfy head up

ive been having weird preg dreams too - some not so nice and downright scary

[angelfish]

Reet~ frist of all i just would like to send you some long distance hugs i know that still does not take the pain away but i am so sorry. And good luck on your scan

My bf ex wife does not care abotu anyoen but herself. If i tryed to talked to her she would just turn everything around on me. Also when her and my bf was married she use to be abusive towards him and use the kids as a pawn of why not to press charges. I have seen the pictures of were she bit him so badly that he had burses down his whole arm Bf still has nightmares about her. And as a man here its was hard to press charges against her. But now if the police were called he would have no say its domasitc and she would have been arrested the frist time. See were the jeliously comes in is that she has four kids all together two of his and two of her present hubby.My bf mom will go over there to see the two of her grandchildren and see that the other two needs stuff and she will buy for them even as them calling her there grandmother. But what gets me is okay when it comes to his mom okay your a nice person she is trying to wreak your sons life even more can you stop babying her and make her spend cs on what needs to be spend on
sorry for the long rant
The new court date is sent for the end of jan i hope this baby does not come before this or in the middle.

Thanks for listenig sorry i have been so self asbored latley

[Mum2Romone]

Hi ladies , sorry for a totally absorbed ME post but i need help.....

I haven't really been around because I'm sort of in a state of confusion about my whole pregnancy ATM. I'm definitely pregnant but I haven't told DH yet, partly because I want to pick the right time to tell him and partly to surprise him at Christmas.

most couples would be happy, falling pregnant after a miscarriage but DH has had a weird attitude lately about life in general and he has said quite a lot since the miscarriage that he doesn't want more kids, that he doesn't want anymore with me,and that he never wanted kids at all. I dont know if this is all because of his feeling towards the miscarriage or how he really feels.he married me when i was pregnant, but he didn't have to..... I would have done it alone...... But he wanted to get married at the time.....and he is a good dad when he wants to be....

And saying those things to me, whilst hurtful if they are true then I'd rather not stay married to him, because i definitely want more children, not one or two..... And now being pregnant again....

I'm thinking everyday just tell him and he will either be happy and you will have a future or he will act like the world is ending, and be ****ed off ttc actually worked , ruin the happiness for me and I will just leave.... I'm not scared to do it alone but I don't feel right telling Him, him faking happy families and staying together...possibly again, for a baby, and then further resentment when I want more children or ttc again in the future... ( he deliberately avoided me a couple of times when i said We could get pregnant in the last few months, and to be honest last month was really a fluke for us )

So I'm putting off telling him for his reaction because maybe it's not the one i want.....but maybe it will be....I don't want to upset life right before Christmas, then i though what a great christmas present, but that's only if he would be happy, if not I'll ruin Christmas supposedly for I'm and we will have a **** start to next year.... ARGH!!!! why can't he even tell I'm pregnant, I haven't brought up ttc for two weeks now and I usually pester him with baby talk everyday.........and I haven't said vie had a period, no tampons been around. if he wasn't so unattentive he would already know.....

Any advice.... I want to just tell him but every time I bring up, for example......

We could be pregnant right now.... He says I hope not
I say, do you wan a make a baby? He says let's have sex ( but no mention of actually trying )
I say I'd really like to be pregnant for Christmas.... And he doesn't even respond, he loves to ignore me
I say would you be happy to find out you were having a baby on Christmas day? Like for a present? (WTF OBVIOUS ?????) he says why is one of your Internet buddies going to do that? I suppose if they wanted a baby then.....

All signs says he doesn't want another baby
So why since my mc in September he been actively participating in trying and not using protection, to get me pregnant, and not voicing his opinions until November then keep having crazy sex all the time with me so I get pregnant if he doesn't really want that?

Anyone have a psychiatrist handy, my mil is one but i think she's the one who messed him up

[~Stoked~]

M2R, I'm on my phone so this will be quick.

Men are weird. All they want is for their OH to be happy.. I think sometimes they say/do things just to try to please us. I'm sure he will be happy about the new baby.. Surely if he felt that strongly about not wanting any more kids he wouldn't have been such a willing participant in the TTC part!? Maybe he's just having a hard time at the moment. It might be hard for him to see the positives in anything if he's feeling down in general.
I also know that my DH gets sick if me talking about babies and TBH I think he misses the old me... And the old us! They are just not as into it as we are!
I hope when you tell him the news, whenever that may be, that he is excited and realises that it was what HE wanted too. Hugs babe xx

[Mum2Romone]

Thanks Stoked, I hope so too

[Mildez]

M2R I'm sorry your DH messages are so mixed, Confusing right. I hope you find the ideal time to tell him and he is very excited about your next addition. Perhaps its from your m/c that has started some issues with pregnancy and he is grieving in his own way and expressing it differently to how we would expect (been women and all) My DH has also given me mixed messages as to how he feels about this bub. Its so confusing when she was very much planned and we were just about to start IVF. Deep down I think he doesn't like how pregnancy changes me but wants the baby. Men who can understand them sometimes or most of the time in my case.

Reet hope you have a wonderful scan today. I too and very sorry to hear about your puppy. A similar thing happened to us 18months ago and it was just aweful and it still makes me very sad.

Ferrals I hope you get the info you need to clear your DH. FX its comes easy getting the evidence.

[forshelby]

Reet - It is kinda fun visiting the old gang, I love how excited they get over the belly. It'll be even more fun once bubby arrives for cuddles! I'm happy to be your emotional baggage handler. I've gotten good at it with my own craziness hehe. I really think there is just no preventing some things, it was her fate for this to happen as sad and horrible as it was. I can't say there was a 'reason' but I'm sure she'll be with you in spirit for a long long time to come. I did see that fb post by your friend and thought it was a really nice thought. Maybe her purpose had been served, and it was time for her to move on. You sound like you're feeling a bit better though, so thumbs up for that. It takes time but you're doing just fine dealing with it. You're right though, she would want you to be happy and to remember the good times more than the sad. Good luck for your scan tomorrow..... YAY! I'll stand by for pictures!

Ferrals - Oooohhh the plot thickens. What a piece of work this guy is! I hate how some people can't just take responsibility for their mistakes (re the written warning) and realize they did something stupid. Oh no, they have to blame EVERYONE ELSE. Frustrating! I have my FX that you'll easily be able to prove they're friends, and that the statement is fake. Was there any security video footage of the incident itself?? Or would that be too convenient, lol.

Tegam - Wow hun look at you go! That little bubby inside is so lucky to have such a strong mummy who can say NO to doctors and their over-intervention.

Kellie - Ikwym about the breech position.... mine went from breech to bloody transverse! Could it get any worse? LOL. I hate those scary pg dreams, I had nightmares all night last night... I won't go into it because they were quite terrifying but I woke up exhausted! I hope you can switch those nightmares for some entertaining crazy dreams instead.

Angelfish - It seems like your bf's mum is in a really tough spot. I don't think she can 'make' her do anything with the cs money...... I'm pretty sure she would be afraid the ex would just cut her out of her grandchildren's lives. It's frustrating I know, but my mum is like this with my brother and his girlfriend (they have 2 kids). She loans them money all the time to get food for the kids, but wouldn't have to if he just drank less! Bah. None of my business though so I just try to ignore it. I know how frustrating it is to watch though, I feel your pain!

Mum2Romone - Wow hun, what a situation! I think you should just give it to him straight. No amount of delaying is going to change his reaction, whatever it may be. And you know what, you should be able to share this news with him..... I don't know how you've kept it secret this long. Don't take this the wrong way but he needs to man up already. He knew what made babies. he knew you wanted a baby. He acted like he wanted it to, so now he's got it. If he can't face that, well boo-hoo for him he needs to decide whether or not he's going to be involved or not. He's a big boy and he participated in this, so don't for one minute feel guilty or worried about it. I would ask him straight out if he was just going along with ttc to keep you happy but didn't want another baby, tell him very calmly but very bluntly that you are pregnant, and he was a fool to go into the pool without floaties if he can't swim. (sorry the pool is enticing me right now it's so hot!) Whatever happens we're all here for you. Good luck!

AFM - DP's Grandma sent us a very generous and much appreciated gift in the mail yesterday. There was a lovely card and as usual she sent us a cheque. I almost swallowed my tongue when I realized she'd doubled the normal amount she sends, and specifically wrote that she wants me to get something for myself to enjoy. I could have cried. I won't say how much she sent us but it's SO needed right now and her generosity is just so beautiful. I think especially after losing my own Grandma this year, her presence in my life is even more important. I think she knows this. (I call her Grandma and she treats me as her Granddaughter). Anyway before I get myself into a tizzy and start crying, I think it's time to go and have a chunky dunk in the pool. (No more skinny dipping here...) Take care lovely ladies!

[angelfish]

Thank you i am at the pont to were i have to worry about my babies health frist and everything else last.

[ferrals5]

Just a quicky i am off to bed i have a big weekend of work work and more work.

Forshelby-no video footage just their word against DH and the two guards with him.

AFM-sorry i am not real talkative we got a letter today from some debt collection company after DH from when he was married to his ex they had a $4000 dollar phone and internet bill that DH paid his part when they seperated now they are taking him for the ex wifes half as she wont pay so $2500 they want or they start legal action to recover it as she is on the pension they wont touch her.
I have had enough our 1st wedding aniversary is sunday and we cant afford to buy each other anything.
Sorry to be a sook i just cant take anymore bad sh#t coming our way.

[Mum2Romone]

Hi ladies
Thank you for your words of support xxx I went to the dr today for my cough and requested Bhcg level testing every few days.... I want to make sure this baby is going to stay before I say anything, I know that's stupid but I've been having heavy pains, all day IYKWIM and a really sore back, also when I mentioned to the dr that I had HG ( severe morning sickness ) with my other pregnancies but haven't been since since the day I found out nearly two weeks ago, she seemed worried, and even sad for me, like she thinks it will end in miscarriage....so results Monday and testing again Monday and then Wednesday ..... DH will be working, so I won't have to lie, or anything.... I can't believe he hasn't asked already anyway.......

I want this baby, but fingers crossed for good test results.....

[forshelby]

Ferrals - I hope the lack of video works in your favour though.. you know, reasonable doubt etc. Sorry to hear about the debt collection thing, that absolutely sucks. I know it probably doesn't help right now, but no amount of hardship can tear the two of you apart. It's nice to be able to give material things, (and receive... ) but as long as you two have eachother and your family then you've got everything you need. Perhaps DH could lavish you with diamonds when things settle down a bit for you two. Not trying to minimise at all though, it's really not fair that you can't splurge on eachother with nice gifts.

M2R - Don't lose hope just yet. I'm surprised the doctor would make you feel that way without any evidence to back it up. I had cramping & backpain right from the start, and my MS was pretty mild considering. (more of just an all day hungover feeling) I'm going to use the old saying, every pregnancy is different. So far there's nothing to suggest this bubby won't stick, so keep your spirits high and when your bhcg's come back, talk to your DH.

AFM - Having a weird symptom right now, the back of my tongue and roof of my mouth is all tingly and annoying. That used to mean I was going to get a migraine, but so far nothing. It's more annoying than anything else...... I have no idea what it's all about!

[angelfish]

Ferrals i am so sorry that you have to go though this when it come to DH. But things will work out.
M2R: my ms would come and go so much that i would cry on the days when it would go away i would cry etc.

I am out from under my rock for now. A few days ago i filed out a ticked for a rafle for a bunch of baby items and guess what ???/ I won i have almost everything that i need now. I know this will not help pay the rent or other bills but makes me have a little bit of faith that things will work out.

[Tegam]

Hi ladies
Thank you for your words of support xxx I went to the dr today for my cough and requested Bhcg level testing every few days.... I want to make sure this baby is going to stay before I say anything, I know that's stupid but I've been having heavy pains, all day IYKWIM and a really sore back, also when I mentioned to the dr that I had HG ( severe morning sickness ) with my other pregnancies but haven't been since since the day I found out nearly two weeks ago, she seemed worried, and even sad for me, like she thinks it will end in miscarriage....so results Monday and testing again Monday and then Wednesday ..... DH will be working, so I won't have to lie, or anything.... I can't believe he hasn't asked already anyway.......

I want this baby, but fingers crossed for good test results.....

Its not stupid at all, in fact i dont think there is anything you could say in this thread that would suprise any of us!

AFM: Just been reading posts as i really dont have anything exciting to share...sorry!

[luna moth]

Just dropping in some induction-beating vibes for Tegam! I'm finished with my lot

Baby on shoulder, love to all!

[Tegam]

Thanks Audax....am getting very uncomfy and the thought of induction is getting so so so much more hard to resist hehe.....

Also thats all my girls have asked for for xmas...what a bad mummy if i dont produce!

How is your little girl Audax??

Girlfriend just dropped off her capsule for me to use, i thought it was going to be one of those big ones but it is one of those posh looking slimline ones. Still not sure if i will use it much after not having on for three kids but it also might come in very handy!.....oh so clucky now!