Thanks so much for the messages and support - update is that the spotting & cramping have settled down (phew!) and my headspace is... better. Had a good chat with DH last night and finally managed to achieve actually feeling positive (as opposed to TRYING to feel positive). Funnily enough Biggest Loser was on at the time, and it struck me that this is the Pregnancy Challenge. It's funny - it's so thrilling when you first get those two little lines, but then beating the fear and the stress is such a challenge... and all the while it's running through your head...stress doesn't help, stress isn't good for me.

So I don't know precisely how I got to a better state of mind, I don't know for sure how long it will last, but right here right now - I'm like a sprinter preparing for the Olympics, and I'm going to visualise the finish line as many times as i want to. And I'm going to visualise successful scans... and the feeling of my baby kicking, and a beautiful baby bump. I believe my baby will grow & will live and I'm so excited to think of the wonderful journey ahead. I think this little scare really made me look at my fear and realise that I can spend this journey expecting it to fail, or I can believe in it. It's my choice.

And thank you all for sharing the journey so far with me. Hugs to all of you