Anatomy Scan - To find out or not to find out....

[Toomanytoomany]

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But I am amazed at the amount of people who feel its their right to tell DH and I that we are ruining the surprise.

It astonishes me to realise just how entitled people feel to be as intrusive and rude as they like when it comes to pregnancy. We seem to have a distinct lack of emphasis on the social mores to do with being polite and considerate with pregnant women, and it is irritating me more this time than any other. Perhaps I'm just a grumpy old pregnant woman! I suspect that many people find that the pregnancy of another person brings unbidden to the surface many of their own unresolved feelings, and they project a lot of their expectations, fears and insecurities on the woman (or couple) without really understanding what they are doing. It's more about them than it is about you.

That insight has given me some comfort when I've felt like ramming my building pass down some stupid clod's throat at work who has made some bizarre and tactless comment.

In the end, it is up to you. The surprise may be important, it may not. What's important is to consider what your response may be to news of any sort, whatever you decide. If it's gender news you are not expecting, you may have to give yourself permission to feel a bit disappointed, and not feel guilt over that. We didn't decide until we were actually in the office and the tech asked... and I didn't think I cared, but in reality it hit me like a ton of bricks and I'm very glad I found out, to give me time to get used to the idea of a boy after five girls, rather than waiting until delivery.

Dh and I were divided on whether to find out or not - I felt that I needed to find out, though I wasn't quite sure why, and he was adamant he didn't want to know. I knew I'd never be able to keep it a secret, and he went with what I wanted, which was very sweet. Now he's glad he knows. Each couple is different. Each pregnancy is different. Each mother is different.

I hope that you get a perfect scan and that whatever you have, your baby is healthy and growing well

[lilcosmo]

DP & I wanted to know what we were having. This is our first baby and IMO, there are so many things you DONT know when it comes to your first pregnancy and birth that I found it comforting to have control over that part at least - yes maybe I am a control freak

If we have a second bub we have decided that we won't find out, that way it will make the second pregnancy different from the first (I know they are all different but YKWIM).

I totally agree about how opinionated people can be on the subject... DP's SIL had a great time telling us we 'ruined' the suprise for everyone by finding out what we were having. But thats a whole other vent....

[Mrs BB]

We are going to find out. Both of us have really wanted to from the start. I am abit of an organised freak, so will be nice to know the sex so I can plan with abit more detail.
Either way we will be happy and the whole birth thing will be suprise enough for us first time round!

[sryan]

Good morning all,

We are also going to find out - if bubs allows us tomorrow!!!

I am so excited.... though we don't care what we are having, I like to personalise my pregnancy and when I rub my belly, I can call he/she by their name.

I think it is personal choice and every decision is the correct one for them...

xxx Sue xxx

[Mumma2three]

We didnt' find out with DD1, mainly because it just wasn't common practice then. We did with DD2 mainly because DD1 had her heart set on a girl and I wanted to prepare her if it wasn't a girl. I found it to be a really special time for bonding. It was wonderful both ways. THird time we havent' found out and I am finding that Im not so interested in the pregnancy. With DD2 I shopped and bought things for her, but this time I have no desire as I dont know who Im carrying.
As for people giving their opinion, I truly believe people will say what they did. So if they didnt' get the opportunity to find out, they will have a go at you for finding out. Everyone wants to be right. I just take it with a grain of salt. People want to know that their choice was valid, and if you're doing something different, it may say to them they were wrong. JMO, but I have thought about it alot as I have an inlaw that is sooooo like that!!
Good luck with finding out, I think it's one of the most exciting days EVER and I can't say it was any less exciting finding out at 20 weeks than it was at birth. Both just as special xoxoxo

[New Dawn]

I have only ever found out with DD1 as we were living in the tropic's and she is a may baby so knew if I didnt find out at 20 weeks then by the time she was born there would be no summer clothe left if she was a girls ( I still had DS clothes so were right if it was a boy ) well she was a she so I got to do a lot of sale shopping


but with the other two I didnt find out... with DS I had every person under the sun telling me I was having a boy so it wasnt really a shock to see that he was a boy...

But with DD2 everyone even the midwife while I was in labour thought she was a he so it was a truely wonderful surpise to see she was a she and not a he that we all thought she would be.... so much so that when I rang BHL ( who was away at the time of birth ) to tell him he had a DD he thought I was joking and didnt believe me until he got to see her for himself....

[Maruschke]

Sue - I am finding out tomorrow as well! 8.30 am

We wanted to find out for the same reasons as BG, to name and bond with our bub.

[huggabug75]

I feel the same, you mention to anyone that you would like to find out the sex, and they are all over you like white on rice in a snow storm. I didnt find out with my first one, but I was sure he was going to be a boy, although we had a namepicke dout for both, but I knew we were having a boy. As for this one, Im sure I am having a girl. Mum done the ring trick thing on me and showed I was having a girl, but at the end of the day, its all good, as long as they are healthy and have 10 fingers & toes....

[queenbee]

my DD is almost a year old now but we found out and named her before she came along, it suited us but everyone is different