Toughie, isn't it? I would say have him rate how important it is to find out the gender and you do the same (except, how important is it that it's a surprise for you). I agree if one knows, both of you should know, or it should be a surprise for both of you. But if it means more to you that you don't know than it means to him to know, perhaps he'd be willing to compromise, and vice versa. IYKWIM?
If you do find out, maybe you could keep it a secret and tell everyone you didn't, that way you still have the surprise factor with everyone else when bub is born.
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