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Thread: scared....

  1. #1
    kirsty_lee Guest

    Angry scared....

    Hey girls! well almost 26 weeks and I hope this is normal but i'm absolutely s@#$tting myself about going into labour. I've barely had any sleep from the little girl kicking me so much however that is not really the problem. I'm getting to the stage now where i'm having nightmares about the birth and I keep waking up in a sweat. Im so bloody tired. Im not quite sure what it is that's scaring me so much, possibly a mixture of the pain side (as im sure every new mother goes through) or the fact that i know when i go into labour i will be home alone as my partner will be at work. EEk thats so scary... please feel free to put my mind at ease ladies i'd love one decent night of sleep without waking up soaking in my own sweat LOL


  2. #2

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    Kristy,
    Can your partner take time off around your due date? Im sure that will ease your mind a little. If this is your first pregnancy, it may last for hours and hours, so dont stress too much. Take warm baths, maybe do some relaxation.... make sure your DP has his mobile on him at ALL TIMES.. Your baby girl should start slowing her movements down a little, or you will get some type of "sign" before/as you go into labour so PLEASE stop stressing it will all be fine.

  3. #3

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    Hey Kirsty NICE NAME!!

    You will be ok honey... I was crapping myself also with my first... I went into labour with no idea what I was doing and had the epidural and ended up with an emergancy ceaser... so my best advice would be load yourself with information... read heaps about labour... and most of all remember that the key is your own determination
    I am 5 weeks off #2 and again am crapping myself!! But have decided that I am sooooooo determined to get this little girl out on my own! I am not ruling out the epidural again but I am going to fight my bum off to not have it and get her out as quick as I can!!

    Prepare yourself with some things like drinking raspberry leaf tea in the last 4 weeks.... get into some reflexology books that you can use during labour to open up your cervix..... the quicker you can get that cervix open the quicker you can get that baby out!! Thats my theory for this baby anyway! he he he.

    You will be fine sweetheart... just beleive in yourself and remember how many millions of women have done it before you We are built for this stuff babe!
    Dont get me wrong... I am so where you are at but HEAPS closer!! he he he.... just beleive in yourself!GOOD LUCK!
    xoxoxoox

  4. #4

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    Sorry guys!! My computer bugged out on me and I ended up posting my reply 3 times! SORRY!

  5. #5

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    I understand where u r coming from as i have been afraid ,mostly of the pain,everytime but this time i'm determined not to b.I am trying to b calm & relaxed & enjoy the ride.Being scared & panicking will increase the pain so maybe try some relaxation techniques or some yoga or just some deep breathing & imagining yourself somewhere u love that is calm & happy.Some soft ,soothing music might help as well.
    Trust yourself & believe in ur own ability as a strong & capable woman to birth ur little one.This is what i am learning & trying to apply this time round.
    For eg: yesterday i had some terrible pains,they were really scary but instead of panicking & crying which is what i'd normally do i just breatheed depply & tried to remain calm & relaxed as much as possible & thought positive thoughts & eventually they went away & it was ok.
    Work out ur birth plan & discuss everything with ur partner b4 hand & organise someone like a close friend or relative that can come & b with u if ur partner can't possibly get there straight away.
    I hope this is some help to u,good luck & try not to stress

  6. #6
    Ellibam Guest

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    believe in yourself and your body!
    you can do it and it can be done with out drugs
    it doesnt hurt alot from the beggining it builds up and if you just keep reminding your self your one step closer to meeting bubs then you will be fine

  7. #7

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    Kirsty_lee, it is very scary especially being a first time mum, you dont know what to expect. What I found helped me during labour was keeping as positive as possible and like ellibugs said, keep reminding yourself about how close you are and say comments out loud like "Thats one less contraction that I have to go through" It sounds corny but believe me the things you will come out with during labour hehe. I found the second I started to doubt myself and think oh my gosh I cant do this, the pain intensified. Have drugs if you need to. Having a baby is not a competition, if you think you need an epidural (which is a scary looking needle but really doesnt hurt at all) then go for it. Best of luck you can do it!!

  8. #8

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    Aww Kirsty - us pregnant chicks have a hard enough time sleeping anyway hey! Remember that nightmares/vivid dreams can be a pregnancy symptom, my pregnancy dreams are like nothing else!
    Here are the Nelle tips of the day:

    -Arm yourself with knowledge! Read other people's birth experiences (the positive ones - AVOID any scary ones, they won't help), read the BellyBelly articles on birth, keep asking questions about what to expect. Knowledge that helped me, was to know that a contraction felt like a wave, you can feel it coming, it builds up, peaks, washes over you and away. That really really helped me to expect that for some reason!

    - Will your partner be able to come home when you go into labour? I laboured for awhile by myself, and it wasn't too bad. I just tried to nap between contractions. Make sure, like others have said, that his phone is always charged and is on notice to come as soon as you call.

    - Be prepared - have a labour bag packed with ANYTHING you think you might need - cordial, lollies, hair clips, music, back massagers, magazines (for after, hehe, you might not feel like light reading while pushing! ), essential oils, heat packs...whatever you think you might want!

    - I found it helpful to tell myself that labour doesn't last forever. No-one's been in labour forever. So, labour will start, and then after awhile (I told myself 12 hours, which could have been a fib, but I ended up having an 11 hour labour!) it will end. And you will have a baby - and then you might even say (like I did, and many other women do) yeah, I could do that again, easy.

    - I also found it helpful not to think too much about it - you can know in your head what to expect, but you can't know what it'll actually feel like, so don't worry about it - deal with it when it happens. You will have everything you need, all your stuff, all your natural hormones will kick in and take over to help you (to the point where I didn't even consider asking for drugs!!) - your body knows what to do, and in most cases, does it quite well!

    Another thing is - you're 26 weeks right - not to bring the mood down, but when I was almost 40 weeks, I wouldn't have flinched if you'd offered to do a DIY caesarian section for me - I just wanted it out!! You will feel like the mothership, where all the crew are beached whales wearing army boots, tired, hot, bothered - and then you will feel those first niggles and go 'ooer...but YAY, I am evicting this creature and will get to meet it!!' For many people, it's scary and exciting all at once - it's a relief to know you'll be ending the pregnant stage and starting the mum stage. Finally!

    Keep asking questions and talking about your fears, that's really healthy, and there's heaps of us to reassure you!

  9. #9
    cari28 Guest

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    It is perfectly normal to be anxious about delivering your baby. Education is the key. Talk to your physician or midwife, talk to your partner about your fears, talk to us, take a childbirth class. Look into your options of pain medication such as IV pain meds, epidural, natural childbirth, etc so that you can make an informed decision. Good luck to you!

  10. #10

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    I understand why you could be scared - you've never given birth before so it's easy to be afradi of the unknown! I'm not saying you are phobic but I did read a really good artcile in the Practical Parenting magazine at some stage last year (between Feb and Sept - sorry I can't be more specific!). Anyway it was a really good article on being phobic of labour and gave some good tips. Maybe you can find a copy of that and see if it helps. Best wishes and remember - after the hell a beuatiful baby comes out at thhe end!

  11. #11

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    God!!! me too i'm very scared, and not even that, i'm 20 wks and when i started feelong the baby movements, it was so weird, it was and is exciting specially my partner keep encouraging me and is so excited about it, but when i'm alone!!!! it's different its like i'm scared when it moves, and even panicked they say to talk to the baby, i don't even know what to say and my songs sucks!!!!
    And i'm so sick when people or even my partner tells me to mix with other pregnant women or to go to what ever group workshop so that i can talk and tell them how i feel.

    BUT i am so scared of being judge or that i say something that is not what they expect. Perharps that i am too scared of the unknow as i always controlling everything in advance and i don't think i am living it to the full "beautiful experience".

    And it is so annoying to hear people say ohhhhhh it so beautiful a pregnant woman, sometimes i like looking at me in the mirror and say wow! i can smile!!! And then i feel like ashame, or embarass when even my partner tells me that i look radiant!
    Do you think i have to see a psy???
    Im so scared about the delivery, i've read the contractions, and don't even get it!!!! i've read some which are suppose to be very explained, but even so i don't understand...
    And even to buy the clothes, its a stress, i bought some and everyoooooone keeps saying don't buy too many babies grow up quickly, and when i ask them so wat size to buy, they don't give a proper answer, WAT do i have to wait till the baby arrives!!!! They said as you don't know what size the baby will be so you cannot buy the clothes, and i wanted to order some pyjamas or All in one suits online as it's big sales in France and it's winter and my little one will be here in winter. So i don't have a clue wat to buy and how many!!!!!! that's the question!!!!

    so many questions!!! i don't sleep at night thinking am i eating properly or as i read most of the pregnant women eat a lot and i don't feel the appetite, so it stays in my head god! wat if the baby is not have all the vitamines etc what it needs. As i cannot eat meat fish all my favourite foods, its like stuck

    i hope i am not bothering you ladies! but i feel sometimes i too desperate!

  12. #12

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    The best thing you can do to prepare yourself for the delivery is to be confident in your body's ability and to be as calm as possible. Don't stress about about - you will get it when it starts to happen!! When it got hard, I just kept telling myself 'this is my body doing what it's SUPPOSED to do. This is my body being strong'
    That's what worked for me - You'll find something that works for you - just relax and let it happen.

    I laboured on my own for 2-3 hours before my DH got home from work and it really was fine. I vacuummed the house, finished packing my bags, watched a bit of TV, timed my contractions... I was mostly just anxious for him to get home because I was so excited - not because I needed his support to make it through the contractions.

    ti-lionne - Your baby really doesn't need much - just as long as you have a few things to keep him/her warm - your baby won't care if they don't quite fit or aren't quite right and you can always buy more once your baby arrives. You don't have to feel radiant - don't worry about any of that - just don't put any pressure on yourself to be anything and you can relax and be yourself.

  13. #13
    kirsty_lee Guest

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    ti-lionne, dont stress darl! i know its hard but once the baby is born you will look back on all the little things you were stressing about and have a giggle. i know exactly what its like to have a billion people putting their 2 cents worth in, as im sure every mother on here would. At the end of the day there is no right and wrong way to prepare for your baby, if you want to buy clothes then do it!! just keep the recipts and return them if they dont fit. what you have to think about is the amount of women who arent lucky enough to have anyone and do it on their own, and look how good they do. all i can suggest is just choose which advice you take and which you dont use.no one is an expert and there is no rule books. jusgt trust yourself and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can

  14. #14

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    Kirsty-Lee, Have you got any family that can be with you while your partner is at work around your due date? When I was 2 days overdue with my son, I thought I was having the "show" and sent my partner off to his squash finals.....I have no family in QLD but luckily my partner has enough to make up for it and I had 3 SIL's, MIL & a niece over "just in case", turned out my waters broke but I was only having like period pain and it was really very relaxed. I had a shower, ate something, talked to a few ppl on the phone then went in to hospital. A couple of hours later my partner turned up, but he was sent home because I had't progressed any....I was induced the next morning and had my son at 12.22pm. I was very anxious leading up to it of course, some days I was wondering why ever wanted go through the pain to have a baby and other days I was like BRING IT ON, I want this baby out! I had gas & pethadine, gave birth within 4hrs of being induced, I survived, I had my gorgeous baby boy in my arms, I forgot the pain soon after and have never regretted it since....evidently as I am now expecting baby # 2 . Good luck, you will be fine!

    Ti_Lionne: As Kirsty-Lee said there is no right or wrong of what and how much you buy, you can always take it back. I was given heaps of 00 as gifts and some 000, I had bought mostly 0000, Jayden was 7lb13oz born and was still a bit small for 0000 and needed more clothes which I bought a few days after I left hospital and he was in them for nearly 3 mths. Don't stress over your appetite either the baby will take what it needs from you and you will feel it if you are lacking in something. I'm a lot further behind you, but I don't have much of an appetite either whereas I the first time round. Good luck as well!

  15. #15

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    i didnt read all the replies to this thread, but i wanted to just share my experience with you.

    I wont go into full detail as you dont need to hear, but for a few reasons the birth sucked. (i had an emergency c section) but i wanted you to know, that the labour was the most exhilerating experience of my life, i couldnt imagine any other pleasure then the pleasure of contracting your baby into the world, i too had my DF at work when i was in early stages, and you know what? it was kind of nice to have an hour or so at home alone to reflect in the moment, have a bath, take a shower and enjoy a little bit of time alone, as i am sure people will agree, it will be the last time maybe in the next 24 hours that you will be able to even wee without a middy, your husband watching you etc....

    I hope you enjoy the experiece as much as i did, and just remember to trust your body and be gentle to yourself. But your fears are normal. i mean no one can ever imagine pushing a baby out of ther vagina can they????

  16. #16

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    Hi Kirsty-lee........ I was wiggin' out!! The whole pg all I was scared of was giving birth to the baby. I was almost obsessed over it. I kept telling my DH - I really don't want to do this!! and he'd say handy things like, "Well, it's a bit late to think of that now" etc......... Boy, if murder were legal, I would have eaten his head like a great big praying mantis!!

    I was still crappin' my dacks right up to week 35 but then I started to realise that I was excited (and had been excited the whole time - but scared too). I really wanted to meet this little person who was happily kicking me in the lung - maybe I also secretly wanted the lung kicking and cervix scratching to stop too (see thread in third trimester). Any hoo.....

    I was so scared because my mum told me the horrible story of my birth in 1976. She was in labour with me for 32 hours and doesn't even remember me being born she was so pumped full of drugs. They were pretty "so what" back then.

    So, here I was thinking I was going to be in labour for hours on end and have the same shocking experience. I was in labour for 4 hours and 7 minutes and gave birth to a beautiful little boy. I thought about it the next day and although I was aware that it was a very painful experience, I didn't really "remember" the pain, so to speak. I'd go through it again and again. I reckon the second time must be harder though, because you know EXACTLY what is going to happen. The fear of the known could quite possibly be worse than the fear of the unknown.

    I won't say, "don't be scared." because that ain't gunna stop you being scared. But your body is built to do what it needs to do and it will do some amazing things. The one thing that amazed me is that I had absolutely no control over what my body was doing - it just knew exactly how to give birth. I was just a passenger on a crazy roll coaster ride.

    10 months later you'll probably find yourself when you can go around again. That's the insane part!!! :-))

  17. #17

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    Hi Blakesmummy, i know what you mean, i think i will be like that cos i prefer to be by my own rather having to deal with ppl around you to tell you do this or not, or are you okay!!!! the millions questions that kill you. And my families and hubby families are not in Australia, and that doesn't scared me to be alone but just relieve rather than having them around to tell me this & that..

    I am stressing i think because its the Unknown for now !!!
    I don't know what is happening to my body, as you said Tannis, I'll try not to think if the baby is eating well or under-weight or not.
    And just be confident that my body knows what it needs, but still as i don't have the appetite and as some says my body will know what is missing or needed, but i don't have any cravings nothing.

    The Obstetrician is not a big help all he says is: Each woman is different!!! and not really giving advise the only good reason i stayed with him is that he is funny and for the delivery i know i will be at my ease and comfortable.

    I am a control freak when the baby will be here, i love organising, and i saw my eldest sis how she organised the days with her 2 babies. So when it will be here, it will be fun and anxious but still a new adventure.

    I mean i had the same reaction with my dog, before we had him we went to visit him since he was born till he came home, and soon after i saw him, i look for all reasons not to have him with us, i panicked, saying ohhhh we won't be able to travel, ohhh he is too big, he will be a big expense! I think i am doing the same thing with the baby. we had the dog first and as he survive i thought i was ready for a baby!!! LOL
    I said the same things when i knew i was pregnant at first, saying ohhh my life is finish, it will be expensive i am not ready. so perharps all these doubts will go away once the baby will be here.

  18. #18
    sprite Guest

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    I was freaked out like you were with my first kiddo. I was induced two weeks after the due date and went in at 730 am and had her at 230 am. With the epidural I did not feel a thing. It was scary at first but it seems like a dream. I think carrying the baby for 9 months is way harder than the labor. It's something our bodies are made naturally to do, so it will be fine. As far as after when I went home- it turned out to be a very life altering and peaceful time for me. At first in the hospital I was thinking "what have I done?" but it all seems right when you have the baby in your arms. You will be ready when the time comes. I just think to myself "what am I going to do about it now?" and then I wipe it from my mind and think about what store I will be visiting the next day to make me feel better lol....Good luck!

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