I think both you and your DH have good points. I personally wanted my mum to know exactly what was going on and when it was happening, but there was NOOOO way she was coming in with me! Ewww - imagine mum seeing me naked!
As it turned out, I was induced and Mum flew over about 3 days earlier (from NZ) and ended up being there through almost the whole thing. I actually found her support invaluable, and didn't feel at all embarrassed when the epidural was going in, or going through contractions, and she only left when they started trying to turn Jenna by hand (she was posterior). She stayed through all my internals, but actually just averted her eyes. She was very quiet, and didn't annoy me at all.
Look - I think at the end of the day, you have to be comfy, and know the environment you are going into will be a safe one for you to give birth. But what I;m saying is dont write off your mum. They have been through this too, and my mum was a huge support, and now has a very special bond with her 4th granddaughter. She ven held her before I did. Can you let her know you want to keep your options open?

Well my brother had his baby 5 weeks before me, and we didn't get a phonecall until about 18hrs after the baby was born. My mum was away on business, but had her mobile on her, and my brother couldn't even clal her to tell her the news. He told my father, but decided he wouldn't make the cost of calling an international mobile. How crap is that. I have to say - mum will never forgive him. Of course everything is fine between them, but she will always remember how low donw on his priority list she was.

As for teh family thing - well I specifically asked for no visitors in hossy, and only had my mum, shane and debbie come and see me (plus a couple of others by accident, not that I was grumpy about it ) It meant I could feel daggy and not worry about people looking at my clothes, my hair etc, and it gave me time to wind down. Hossy is crappy anyway without needing other people around!!

So in a long way of saying it - I recommend you make your intentions clear to everyone now, but keep your options open. Tell mum - I'm not sure I want you there, but can you keep your phone beside you. Oh - and I have THE most emotionally draining mum in the world.... the most controlling, judgemental, annoying etc. But she really was wonderful.

Good luck,
Fi