Its all happening so quick- am I ready???

[AliciaK]

I am starting to have the same fears.... I don't know how I am going to cope with the change! I think I am mostly worried about how DH and I will cope as a couple as we have been through some really rough times in the past (but we got though them) and I wonder if they pop up again, will I be able to work through them with the same patience with a little one around ??
I am really hoping that this is another hormone surge topped on again being tired....

[Laranna]

Jessica...I have been having the same thoughts and feelings and after seeing my ob today and confirming a date for the c-sect it makes it even more real knowing exactly how much time I have to get things done and spend time with DP before bubs gets here.

[Arimeh]

From talking with my DH last night, it can be really difficult for men to adjust to the big change - harder than it is for us girls. He said that when we first had DS he felt really left out of the big picture, all attention being focused on the bub you know? But he got over it, and said that it helped to be able to feed the baby (I bottle fed which made it easier to do that!). But still, he always felt slightly useless and not needed, which can lead to arguments. I think just being aware that some men go through these feelings can help heaps.
We still have arguments now of course, mostly when we are tired, and he does something stupid, and I'm a biatch about it because I'm tired, and pregnancy hormones don't help - but for the most part - when DS does something funny or cute, its always DH that I look at and laugh with.
As long as you still keep on laughing, I think you will all do fine.
Lots of hugs help too ...

[amberj]

Thank you all for the support! Its awesome just to know that other people feel or have felt the same way, and that because I have these feelings it doesnt automatically mean I am somehow cut out to be a bad mum. Most of the time I am positive and happy about Bean's arrival, but then sometimes I just wig out- especially when tired and hormonal! I think for me, as long as I recognise that its normal and ok to have those feelings, I can kind of deal with them and they pass in their own good time. Its so great to have these forums where we can just blurt it all out and process it and get support- thank you all!! It takes me ages to deal with change, and this helps enormously.

Mel, you make a good point about how it can be really hard for our husbands, and I will need to watch out for that. He's been so good about supporting me, I wonder how he will deal himself! I'm glad to be aware of it so I can look for ways to support him. He is really keen on doing at least one feed as well, he keeps asking about it, its so cute!

[Arimeh]

Jess - you are definitely not going to be a bad mum - just that you are posting how you feel shows how much you already care for your little bean. I remember flipping out before DS came along too - have you seen "Cold Feet" at all? where Jen flips out before having her baby?? (If not doesn't matter) but I was sorta like that - so overwhelmed by the feelings that I was having, and if I would be a good mother.
Only now, when DS is nearly 16 months, do I feel that I am a good mother, and even I have my days that I feel like I'm the worst mother in the world.
Just by keeping your baby loved, safe and secure, fed and housed, makes you a GOOD MOTHER. Everything else - is irrelevant.
Good luck.

[Mum0809]

You will be great. It's hard work but its all worth it. My advice would be get as much sleep as you can now.