Thanks Ryatha.
The 14yr old does have some hearing issues which have been addressed but it still doesn't explain a lot of behavioral issues to me.

I mean most boys their age don't want to go near their brother let alone rest on them and pat their hair, they also don't want to kiss and hug mum/dad/family every morning and night before or after bed.

Maybe it's just because mum babies them, i don't know... i find it odd.