12 & 14 act like 5yr olds - how to discuss with mum

[Lolli]

Hmmm hun I dunno. Agreed, it sounds like they don't get out enough. But the fact that they are affectionate is quite nice, and not really a problem. The not listening thing just sounds like normal teenagers But on the whole, maybe they are just a different type of kid, iykwim? The quiet, sensitive type, not rough and tumble, and a bit immature for their age. Like I said, I agree it's not usual, but it's not neccassarily a problem.

If you really want to broach it with their mum, maybe say something like "Have you thought about karate/ soccer/cricket for the boys?" And go about it from there. She might not think these things are issues as much as you do...

Sorry if that's not want you want to hear hun. I do understand your concerns, but other people's kids are very sensitive ares to tread

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Thanks everyone.

I think my issues is they play sports, all year round, they have done cricket, football, soccer, karate you name it and yet there is still NO confidence what so ever.

Mum knows there are issues as i have asked before about the conversation skills, now it's getting a bit more.. i mean peeing on the seat at 12 & 14?
Will see what she says.. i love them to bits, they are my brothers and no matter what i know it's fine for them to be who they are and unique etc but i just want to make sure there are no other issues.

[Lulu]

Well what's your step dad like?

Boys need their dads so much at this age, they need someone to lead them. Does he participate in the sports too, take them motobike riding etc?

[Ryatha]

How did it go last night? Did you get a chance to talk to your mum about them?

It is a hard one to help with as some of their behaviours sound perfectly normal, but it sounds like you are most worried about their ability to be independent and their confidence. Maybe raise that with your mum and suggest they do somethings more independent of your her and your stepdad and of each other. Do they play all the sports together?

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Thanks Ryatha.... i had a chat with mum about a few things that had happened and she admits that they don't ACT THEIR AGE, she also says it's partly her fault as she doesn't let them do things due to the area they were in.... it's not THAT bad... lol

I think she's going to have a chat with them about it.

[~Serenity~]

just wondering and i dont mean to sound rude but have they been tested for things maybe they have learning disabilities or something and thats why and its something thats out of there control

[Oorki Galoorki]

I dont see it as being to much of an issue i would rather affectionate children then ones who beat each other up just because they are boys.. yk?

also telling your bro he can get his licence is wrong. in SA he has to be 16 to get his L's so you freaked him out for no reason. I also know MANY people who dont drive because it scares them it isnt a MUST have in life.

peeing on the seats well many men still can not get that under control. how many women complain about the lack of toilet seats going down when they are married. Lots of Normal behaviours but i think you may be comparing them to your DH who may be really well "trained".

unless its a problem for THEM or your mum then they should do something, if not then just relax let them be who they are.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

just wondering and i dont mean to sound rude but have they been tested for things maybe they have learning disabilities or something and thats why and its something thats out of there control

I was going to ask the same thing. But it could also be that your mother is babying them and they dont feel the need to grow up and do things like other boys their age. How are they in school do you know? Are they mentally up with the other kids in their class?